Ok I just don’t get it. I am a great girl. I swear to you. I mean, I have more good days than not-so-good days, I treat men right. I respect men, I am a sweetie to them, I dress nice, I look good. I am a good girl. So why the bad luck??? Why do I have bad luck with men??
I was supposed to go on a date…. and the dude doesn’t call and cancel, he just doesn’t show up. So not fair. And another guy was supposed to go out with me on Tuesday and the fucker just quit writing me. I don’t even exist to him anymore. What did I do wrong? He approached me, I always let a guy call or write me first. He writes me, we do great. And then…. nothing. Even if I initiate an online letter or something…. nothing. It’s like I have turned invisible.
I have decided to make a top 50 list of things not to do if you want to go out with me. This was inspired by a dear Boston man in the chatroom who recently had his birthday.
THINGS NOT TO DO ON A DATE WITH ME
50. Show up late.
49. Dress in your McDonald’s uniform when you pick me up.
48. Adjust your cds before opening the car door for me.
47. Throw cats.
46. Call me repeatedly after a bad date.
45. Call me repeatedly after I block your number.
44. Ask me if you can explore me.
43. Call me the wrong name.
42. Call me the wrong name all night.
41. Tell me I owe you sex after an expensive meal.
40. Chew with your mouth open.
39. Make me order water to save money.
38. Order for me.
37. Wag your 1 inch cock in my face.
36. Ignore me before we ever go out.
35. Tell me you are out of toilet paper in your house.
34. Try to finger me in the car 5 minutes after we meet.
33. Tell me to smell your fingers when I meet you, and it smells like ass.
32. Treat me like a sexual object because you think I am so beautiful.
31. Tell me you are going to fly down to see me, then never hear from you again.
30. We cuddle together to a movie and you fall asleep snoring.
29. When I say no, assume it means yes.
28. Tell me you want to do the 69 after just meeting me.
27. Make me pay for the gas in your car since we are traveling 5 extra miles.
26. When I want to cuddle to a movie, pop in a porno.
25. If I invite you in to use the bathroom, come out butt naked.
24. Tell me you only wanted to date me because I remind you of your own sister.
23. Leave a waitress a 35 cent tip.
22. Force me to listen to music I hate.
21. Forget to wear underwear.
20. Drive to a completely-secluded spot at 2am on a first date to scare me.
19. Steal silverware from the restaurant.
18. Steal silverware from my house.
17. Go through my panty drawer when I am in the bathroom.
16. Sniff my vibrators when I am in the bathroom.
15. Try to pry open the door when I am IN the bathroom.
14. Tell all your friends you fucked me when you didn’t.
13. Throw your truck keys in the ocean so I have to spend more time with you.
12. Drop me off in the street at 1am cause I won’t fuck you.
11. Shove your tongue down my throat and choke me.
10. Have green stuff on your teeth from your lunch.
9. Grip my ass the minute you meet me…and leave it there… all day.
8. Expect sex from me, just because I am a phone sex operator.
7. Cut part of my hair when I am cuddling with you, so you can keep a memoir.
6. Steal my dirty panties.
5. Ask me for a second date before we are done with the first terrible one.
4. Lead me on to believe we are going out, then change your mind without a word.
3. Stand me up.
2. Call me a slut if I sleep with you.
1. Call me a slut if I don’t sleep with you.
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I didn’t get a chance to go jogging today or yesterday cause my blisters on my feet are still healing…. for those who care…. lol
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Shoutouts:
An hour long hypnosis call with my sexy New Hampshire sweetie (no he didn’t fall asleep this time) hee hee but apparently the spell from last time worked, had a hot quickie with my Sacramento bartender strapon slut, a wonderful call with my charming prince who was my sweet daddy, had an hour long stepfather/daughter call with a total sexy man who had his way with his naughty little girl.
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