Current Wardrobe: dark red towel, just got out of shower
Well here I am dripping wet straight out of a nice warm shower in the middle of winter, even though it really doesn’t feel like winter here near San Diego. There are no snowflakes, no sheets of ice, no tires with chains, no christmas carolers outside with hymns, no smell of pine, no beautiful nativity scenes around, there is no christmas tree in my house, I have no christmas lights, no christmas cards, no unopened gifts, no fireplace, no chimney for santa, no stockings, in fact… there isn’t even anyone to share warm cookies and milk with… but there is a wonderful sense of giving in the air.
I woke up two days ago feeling the “lonely Christmas” that some people feel, especially when it is their very first holiday season alone. And I tried everything, tried painting, sketching, cleaning, playing video games, did all sorts of art… and I still felt alone.
And then yesterday morning before I even awoke out of bed, I felt this unexplainable peace all around me, like everything was going to be ok. I didn’t even roll out of bed, I just laid there, hugging my mountain of pillows (I secretly imagine my pillows are the substitute of one very sexy man who I dream about all the time) and I just felt… like someone was hugging me. I can’t explain it. It was absolutely the best feeling in the world. I must have laid there for an hour, with eyes partially open, feeling a true sense of joy, peace, and a sense of being alive, well, and lucky to be among such fine people who genuinely care about me.
My wonderful sweet marilyn monroe pantyboy from san francisco surprised me with a Joni Mitchell cd called “Blue” and a Joni Mitchell dvd called “Woman of Heart and Mind” and although I haven’t had a chance to watch the dvd yet, I have listened to the cd about 3 times now, and I am in love with many songs on there, particularly “blue” and “little green” — I knew that I had heard Blue before because I heard the version that Sarah McLachlan had done and I have that song memorized and love to sing it. Thank you sweetie *smooches* her music touched me the exact way you said it would, I find it quite moving and I can see why many musicians say they got their inspiration from her!
My sister brought her cat over for a couple days so I wouldn’t feel so alone, and the damn cat ate my plant. But I sure love that kitty. I don’t feel so bad though, the plant had already died because I never fed it. So now I have a dead plant on the floor in my bathroom and when I can afford it, I will go get another gorgeous green plant to replace it — well once the cat is gone of course.
On another note, a few days ago I met with a guy named Bret who I had been talking online with for about a month and I finally agreed to meet with him on a particularly lonely night. He turned out to be really nice, cute, intelligent, respectful, and an overall sweet guy. Before you know it, me and him are butt ass naked on my bed making out like teenagers. SIXTEEN HOURS OF RELENTLESS TEASING LATER…. we still didn’t have sex. He had a rule that he never sleeps with a girl on the first date. Ok, I have a question. If you’re not going to sleep with someone, why the hell do you undress them and make them cum 92 times and not have intercourse with them? I felt completely unsatisfied. I tried everything in the world to make him change his mind. At one point, I actually felt the head of his cock ON my pussy and he wouldn’t put it in. He was hard as a rock the whole time. I just don’t understand. *sighs* he spent the night and stayed the next morning and we went at it again and I assumed that since it wasn’t technically the first date, that I would have better luck. Nope. He said it was “bending the rules.” Ok, most girls might LIKE a man who waits after a first date to sleep with someone…. but NOT after we are completely naked and going at it, and then the minute you ask if they have a condom, he blurts out that he can’t sleep with someone on the first night. Anyway, he is going on christmas vacation and will be back in 2 weeks. Maybe next time I will have better luck.
Anyway, after that very uh… painful… unsatisfying ordeal… that night Dino called me and asked if he could take me on a date, and I happily agreed. We went to an elegant Mexican restaurant called Marietta’s which was soooo delicious, then we went to Wal-Mart to buy some stuff but we left because the lines were too long, then we came back to my place and played Dark Alliance on the PS2 and tag teamed. We played for several hours, joked around, had a good time… and of course, we slept together. It was MUCH for fulfilling than the night before and he definitely made up for what I was craving.
Dino and I are going out again on Saturday night on another date, this time heading out of town to Costa Mesa and then will come back to my place and he’ll spend the night.
I’ve had a few people ask if I would ever consider letting Dino be an exclusive boyfriend and I honestly have to say no. As much as I like him, as much fun as we have, and as much as we have in common… he is too much of a ladies man and I would never trust him in the sense that he would be faithful to me. He is definitely not a faithful person, and when I finally DO find a man who can be loyal to me, I will be completely loyal to him. That is such a hard quality to find.
Shoutouts:
Had a most wonderful sexy endearing call with my dear Chicago traveler who called me from a hotel in Illinois and made sweet passionate love to me mmmmm looooooved it, had a sweet and sexy call with a delicious cuckold pantyboy, a hot hot hot call with a pink panty-wearing pantyboy, had a WHOLE HOUR hypnotizing a man into one giant orgy - wow that was hot for both of us, had a long long call with a sissy slut who let me fuck him up the ass with a strapon, had a morning quickie with one sexy oral boy who let me suck him off good, had a WHOLE HOUR letting my New Hampshire sweetie hypnotize me so that I could erupt all over myself over and over, had a fantastic time with my ass stretching slut who fucked himself with a traffic cone, then I got to fuck another guy up the ass while he sucked off a shemale - that was hot, had a WHOLE HOUR with my Berlin sweetie for a sexy chat, had a WHOLE HOUR with my New York softball pitcher who fucked my ass so hard that it bled, then I got raped by a man in a restaurant after it closed owwwie, had a sweet call with a nice guy in Ohio who let me force him to be feminine and now he is a pantyboy for life, and a guy in Washington is now hopelessly addicted after calling me three times and calls me his sugar princess *awww*
Thank you everyone *merry christmas*
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