Current Wardrobe: strapless white tube top, long black skirt with cool buckles down the left side, white knee highs, white g-string with a pink butterfly in the middle, black mary jane shoes… got hair in pigtails today LOL

Aaahhh so much drawing the last few days that I feel like I am in school all over again! I have had soooooo many people asking about my drawing that I gotta stop being so shy about my work and just show you all. Well anyway, it isn’t done but I have decided to make an ENTIRE page showing the san diego drawing I have been working on. This will give you an idea of the progress of it as well as how much detail is actually in it.

I am so nervous. I have 27 days to complete it. YIKES!!!! 27 days left till I have to turn it in! Aaaaahhhhhh….. and look how much I left to do… I wonder if I will EVER ever ever get it done! *drinks more coffee*

Aaah I feel better. I just get so nervous showing my work on display for eyes to judge it. It makes me feel so weird sometimes. Because my art is so personal to me. And to have people critiquing it always gives me butterflies. This was part of my new years resolution… to be brave about it. So here we go! Any comments will be appreciated please be kind.

Speaking of art - mmmm I would looove to be a schoolgirl right about now! Any takers? Here’s something that might get ya in the mood *winks*

Oooh and my sweet Erin said that the kitten I wanted is now old enough for me to take home with me. Her friend Jess took this photo for me so I can think about him!!! I just gotta set time aside to come get him! I have already decided on his name! I am going to call him John Holmes. Click here to see my new kitty that will be the love of my life. I still miss my Lizzie, but now I got my own little John.

A special special thank you to a BRAND NEW caller who left me a $100 tip on the phone! I was completely blown away…. you are absolutely a sweetheart and I love being your bad little secretary - thank you from the bottom of my heart. That money will be well spent… probably on shoes… but well spent. Thank you sexy! *kisses*

Shoutouts:
A warm thank you to my sexy Florida boss who has the cutest little shy panty fetish - for a whole NINETY MINUTES of pure lust and the most intriguing conversation that was not only memorable but worth savoring as well! Thank you … mmmm had a wonderful little rape fantasy with my older brother in the wilderness had a great time! Had a surprise call with my sexy Fort Collins bisexual cutie who let me have my way with him and he made me cum SOOO hard! Had a WHOLE HOUR with a new caller who let me hypnotize him into wearing diapers for the rest of his life and supergluing his toilet seat down (although it makes it a little difficult in the event I were to ever drop by LOL) - the funny thing about this conversation was that during the call he wanted to be humiliated and have people laugh at him for wearing panties - and the minute he said that - I get a knock on my door from my next door neighbor (a guy who comes over to sell or borrow weed from me) and I GAVE him the phone and let them talk for a little bit - I died laughing. I almost peed in my pants. That was a riot! Had a great time hypnotizing a first time caller with a foot fetish just like me - except well… he hung up without saying goodbye so I really don’t know much about him to give him a nickname. Had an AWESOME time hypnotizing my sexy charming prince who lets me control his mind and his hands and lets me love on his sweet spot till he loses control mmm hmmm, had a fabulous time with the delectable Chris Cross who absolutely looks so adorable wearing his stepmommy’s flirty skirt and we had the sexiest conversation about love, life, and opening up… total sweetheart of a guy! Had a nice warm call with my Denver Traveler who made love to me so sweet and tender and left me cumming and cumming and wanting sooo much more - good luck with the gambling! Had a WHOLE HOUR hypnotizing a brand new caller who I love to call my Minnesota ass boy because his ass is mine for the taking and mmmhmmmm what a wonderful guy to talk to - thanks for the fifteen minute tip!! And last, but certainly not least - a special shoutout to the sexy and addictive Detroit stripper who absolutely knows how to please any crowd (or BE pleased by the cable boy for that matter) - and being his little sister and all, if I tell him to get down on his knees and suck all the boys off… well… he better be a good manwhore and do it. After all, the boys DID pay. Don’t wanna disappoint paying customers now would you? I mean, they ARE paying by the inch! *laughs hysterically*

Love you guys! *kisses*

Current Wardrobe: Black t-shirt, black and white skirt with designs, black thong, light gray demi bra, barefoot

Well I went to the clinic yesterday for an annual checkup where they do a breasts and pussy exam (I never had a breast one before so I was a little nervous) and well…. you all KNOW how long it has been since I have been laid. So you can imagine what it was like for me to be in stirrups with some young still-in-college nurse touching my pussy and feeling all over my tits. I mean, wow, I was highly turned on… in a very medical sorta way. It’s hard to explain. I was totally excited by it and I think the nurse knew. Anyway…. I was told by the nurse that by looks alone, I had a “very healthy vagina” and I should get the results back in 7-10 days from the pap. Just regular checkup thing, no biggie. She also hooked me up with enough birth control for a whole year *yeeps* that means someone can fuck me now! Man I had waited forever for that! So um, ok I have a healthy vagina. That feels so weird. Imagine walking in to Wal-Mart and waving around a sheet of paper that says - Hi I have a healthy vagina. It feels so weird. Why not just say I have a lickable pussy - wouldn’t that be a little more less-stiff to say?

And… drumroll please…. I bought my very first coffee maker. *gulps* that’s right! I got it from Starbucks, it was like $150 and is a cool Barista aroma coffee maker - totally digital and made of stainless steel or chrome or something it is really shiny and cool as fuck!! I already have been making coffee in it. The first cup was too strong. The second too mild. And the third cup was just perfect. I am learning how to make it myself, can you believe it? This is like a milestone! I am in pure heaven right now! Now I can drink coffee ALL DAY!!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!

Bought some more large canvases, also my friend came over and modeled for me nude and I worked on 3 large giant sketches of her that I will turn into paintings when I have time. So far they look amazing, it was sooo cool to be able to draw a live person like that! Also got my san diego drawing out, been working on that little by little. I went shopping and bought this cool magnifying desk light that has a giant magnifying adjustable glass that I can put above the drawing so I can draw really fine now. The problem is that I get the worst headache looking through it. Guess I need tylenol when I draw. Man, being at the computer all day really hurts my head *pouts*

A couple days ago me and 4 of my friends were supposed to come over here (one of them being the sexy Aaron I have had a little crush on since new years) and aaron didn’t show up. He called 2 hours before hand and said he was on his way and was getting on the trolley. But he never showed up. All of my friends waited for him cause we were supposed to pick him up at the trolley station. But he never showed. He never even called. All I can say is… man, he really missed out. This was his chance and he blew it. All this time. And then that. Whatever.

Woohoo Katrina and Kerry just started at the Beach and WOW are they hot! You guys oughtta give them a warm welcome! I want their two-girl cherries!! Heehee

Shoutouts:

Had TWO CALLS with my most addictive ER pantyboy doctor who I now call “Tasha” is sooo pretty when he dresses up and puts on his wigs and nipple clamps, had TWO CALLS financially and sensually hypnotizing a man to give me more and more and more and mmm he was such a good sport - he even left me a 10 minute tip AND a whistle - now let’s see if he’ll get me Sex & the City 6th season on dvd (someone - anyone?)! Had a most delightful and wonderful wakeup call from someone who is welcome to wake me from my catnaps any time he wants - a dear sexy mind-stimulating poet whose tongue can make a whisper so fine that I can feel it when he speaks, had a memorable call with an adored bartending drummer who made me obey every command and mmmm pleasured my feeeeeet for a LONG time - man oh man - total bliss! I also had a quite touching call with my favorite medical photographer who not only let me hypnotize him into becoming hopelessly obsessed with me - but also he gave my toes some sweet loving which left me feeling oh so good, I also hypnotized a deep-voiced panty-loving “Chrissy” who let me dig deep into his closet fetish - what a hell of a good time, had a WHOLE HOUR with my sissy panty slut who let me hypnotize his sissy ass - he better listen to me before he listens to military people - obey whore! Had a pleasantly surprising call from my weed slave who was so obedient and not only rubbed my feet - he also let me control his every move, had a quickie call with my faggot busboy who is so fucking pathetic he doesn’t even deserve journal space, had a fun quickie with my favorite pantyboy Marilyn Monroe who obeyed me while I watching him on camera doing everything I told him to - suuuuch a cute girl, had a great time with my faggot hairdresser in the pink princess salon - man it’s been FOREVER since we talked - thanks for the awesome call! Had several hard hard cums with my 3-click boy who pleasured me in every way humanly possible mmmmm more - man what I would do for a longer call with him - I would probably pass out from cumming too much! Had a quickie roleplay where I was daddy’s little girl and had such a good time and then the caller hung up in my face after he came *gulp* and I was kinda left hanging there, had a romantic sweet lovemaking call with Erin’s loving LA dreamer who wants to do a hot THREESOME with the two of us! Ooooh I can’t WAIT! Had a sexy call listening to a man with an english accent who is a closet gay guy who sucked a man off that morning… mmmm your secret is safe! And I had a call with a man who just wanted me to talk - about - nothing - it was sooo seinfeld-like! And last but not least I had a THREESOME with Christa! It’s about time girl! We did a call with a man who let me be his valley girl girlfriend and I caught Christa in his bed. Then the dog raped her, then I pissed and shitted on her, then I was forced to suck the dog and she pissed on me, then she shitted on me. It was um…. unforgettable. And well….if I didn’t have such a sweet craving for this caller, then I would just think it was gross. But it was…. definitely… different.

Current Wardrobe: Blue jeans, long sleeved dark red velvet shirt, blue and yellow striped cotton thong, white socks, white hat

Just got back from dinner a couple hours ago. Sometimes when you look at someone long enough, you start to discover someone’s humanity. Kind of like what Greg Kinnear’s character said in “As Good As It Gets”… because I found myself looking at Aaron (the hottest waiter to ever bring me coffee) like a human being and not like a piece of meat. I got to admit… when I see a sexy guy I tend to whistle, hoot, flirt, and be completely out there - I think more about sex and lust more than passion and chemistry. But with Aaron I am so quiet and shy like a chicken bone is in my mouth where nothing comes out. Which is so weird because I’ve had this undeniable infatuation with him for four months now. And I am just now learning how to speak in whole sentences with him. Tonight I looked at him and for the first time and I found myself discovering something new… about me. And it was beautiful. To just look at someone, to watch a man carry himself and be unphased by watching eyes. It mesmorized me.

Sometimes I find comfort and solace in the most unusual of places. But lately I’ve found that when one or two people allow you to just vent… without any expectations, without any judgement… it truly is a remarkable feeling.

About three nights ago I had something bad happen.

I have a security guard in my apartment complex who has been flirting with me off and on for about two months. It has been a mutual flirtation, both of us smiling at each other, sometimes he would take my trash out or walk me to my car, etc. Well three nights ago he knocks at my door… he sees my guitar and he plays me a few songs and even sings to me from the doorway (was just like being in a movie)… and about an hour later he knocks at the door again and he is on his 30 minute break. I let him in my apartment for the first time and after talking a while, we start kissing on the sofa. All of a sudden he starts groping me and touching me all over and I was telling him to slow down because he was moving too fast and I wasn’t ready. So he has the nerve to tell me… (and I am quoting him word for word)… “Well can I have a blowjob before my break is over?”

How the hell do I respond to that? I was completely disrespected. Then he proceeded to grab me by the back of my head and try to put it in his lap (repeatedly). So I had to ask him to leave. And he did. It just kills me. I mean… this is a person who had gone out of his way to be with me. He broke many apartment complex rules to step in my living room. And for two months he had smiled at me, winked, waved, flirted, you name it. And then this. I was completely mortified and disgusted.

Ugh… just when you think you’ve gotten to know somebody.

Thankfully…… for every bad person in this world, there is a wonderful person. And I will say that finding that wonderful person who lets you talk to them and just let it out - an open shoulder - speaks louder than any word. A very special man called me the other night and just let me talk and he listened. And it was one of the best feelings to be able to get it out of my system. And of course afterwards we fucked like jack rabbits, but that’s another story
I got some good news. One of my very good friends is going to come over and model for me nude and in person so I don’t have to paint from a photograph. I am very excited because I just bought some really big canvases and have such a good idea. I am so inspired! MMMMM I just love this!

A special thank you to my detroit stripper for the very sweet whistle that touched me more than words can say — the words you wrote were truly heartfelt for me and it meant more than I can ever describe.

And wow, a surprise package in the mail from my California boy who bought me Norah Jones new cd which I have been listening to repeatedly over and over tonight and it is sooo relaxing and is just so comforting (and I REALLY needed something comforting tonight - this is perfect!). And a lovely drawing art technique book which I will get lots of use from reading! Thank you sweetie *kisses* you are sooo nice to think of me like that! *kisses*

My sister came over briefly yesterday, we went grocery shopping together and were singing down the aisles because we like to harmonize… and then we played a sexual game (we’ve been doing this forever) where both of us would go as long as we could in a normal conversation making every sentence sexually related. The whole point is to freak out the other people around us. The only rule is that we cannot laugh. Here is an example:

(I pick up coffee)

Me: mmm coffee - it is so wet, should we get some?
My sister: only if you can keep it hot
Me: oh I can keep anything hot, question is… will it satisfy me?
My sister: well it’s dark so I am sure it will fill you up
Me: once you go black you never go back
My sister: I don’t know about that, I like cream
Me: aah so you don’t like it powdery?
My sister: Nah that causes itchiness
Me: so you like it moist?
My sister: I like anything that stays wet
Me: Aaah ok so you don’t want it frigid
My sister: wonder if they have viagara that can dissolve in coffee

(we go into the seafood section)

My sister: aah smells like dead fish
Me: wasn’t me. I douched

(the guy behind the counter stares at us … me and her keep talking)

My sister: I wonder if the butchers actually masturbate to the smell of it
Me: Maybe, I’ve done calls with guys who masturbate to the smell of crayons so who knows.
My sister: I masturbated smelling chocolate one time
Me: Yeah but have you orgasmed 6 times while taking one lick off a piece of Godiva?
My sister: mmm try seven!

(and we keep going and going and going for hours… every sentence has to be sexually related to the first one)…. it is so fun!

Shoutouts:
Had a fantastic sexy call hypnotizing my obedient Connecticut bondage pantyboy mmmm, had THREE calls with my sissy brianna who followed his homework assignment and got a tanga from Victoria’s Secret like he was supposed to, had TWO calls making hot monkey love with one sexy guy while I was moaning in bed, had a fun roleplay with a new caller who let me be the girl next door sunbathing by the jacuzzi sunbathing and we ended up having sex and cumming really hard! Had a great hypnosis session with my west virginia photographer who was so much fun, had a surprise call with my sexy Jax pantyboy who let me be his aunt who made him feel so ashamed for wearing panties and LIKING it, had TWO calls with a sexy guy who wore a petticoat and a J-cup bra filled with rice in his garage mmmmhmmm, had a cool fun call with a pathetic yet obedient weed slave who was sooo respectful to his Mistress and pleased me. Had an awesome call with my San Francisco musician who let me suck him and deepthroat him sooo good, had a kick ass call with my memorable rapist who (instead of vomiting on me like usual) let me drug him into a shemale and we had the most unexpected mindblowing call, had a hot hot hot HOT sexy call with my Latin lover who let me cum HARD with his big brown dick inside me mmmmhmmm, had a great call with my iowa pantyboy who was so pretty in his panties and looked so adorable, had TWO calls with the shyest guy I have ever talked to - my boston pantyboy who was almost shaking on the phone cause he bought panties all by himself hehee, had TWO calls with my charming prince hypnotizing him and making love to him - too bad his wife almost caught him during the first call that would have been bad *giggles*, had THREE calls with my sexy Austin pussy pleaser… who…. leaves me breathless… at loss for words… and is the type of guy I could easily fall for - cumming with you has never felt so good… thank you for taking the time to be rough, to be gentle, to be mean, to be nice, to be everything I ever ask. There should be more men like you!!! Wow. Had a WHOLE HOUR with my Alaskan slave who let me hypnotize him into pleasing me and wow did he - my poor feet couldn’t take any more - ooh how I love them licked! Had a fantastic call with a new caller who let me be a snobby cheerleader who turned into a hardcore leather-attired dominatrix who collared him and gagged him - wow that was awesome! And mmmm had a fun time blackmailing my pennsylvania pantyboy and I even have his work number and the address of where his company is so I could use any information against him in the event he disobeys me — and man he just cums at the thought of me telling everyone that he got SPANKED BY WONDERWOMAN!

Aaah I can honestly say I do NOT have a boring or predictable job. Every call I have is incredibly different. This job KICKS ASS!

Current Wardrobe: short black skirt, burgandy belly shirt, fishnet stockings, black heels

Just got back from the store, did a bit of impulse shopping. Got a 7-piece Home Theater System from wal-mart for only 69 dollars (what a deal!), I thought that kind of kicked ass. Now if only I can figure out the wiring…. hmmm bought some dvds (got Romeo and Juliet, Die Another Day, Moulin Rouge, The Addams Family, the first season of American Idol, and a couple others), some more paints (all on sale!), some pens (these had really cool glitter), and flipped through the picture book called “Passion of Christ” a photo album from the movie. My heart absolutely fell on the floor and I couldn’t move. I haven’t seen the movie… and I really don’t know if I want to. I know that all that blood and gore is all makeup, lighting, and cinematography…. but I have a weak stomach for that and also being a spiritual person with many convictions I think I would probably burst into tears right there in my seat. Flipping through the book was enough for me. I might wait for the movie to come on DVD so I can hit pause and come back when I think I can handle it in sections. The thought of him being beaten like that just kills me. Anyway, like you all wanted to hear me say all THAT.

I feel kind of bad because the last week and a half I have been working really really hard and haven’t had much free time. Tony and I haven’t really talked at all. I think he is starting to see me as a bit of a workaholic, which is kind of true. But you know what, this job is my priority. I know relationships require a lot of give and take…. but man…. when you’re busy, you’re busy. And I can’t put work on hold when I have people who rely on me - all for a little bit of personal gratification. We’ve been dating for about a month and a half now…… I feel a sense of comfort and convenience when I am around him, he treats me like a princess and is everything a girl could want. He’s gorgeous, he’s sweet, and has a heart of gold. How come my heart isn’t satisfied? Why do I want more? I love the idea of him being a musician with a poetic soul, but you know what… I like an intelligent man who I can talk level with, someone who understands the work involved in running a business, someone who isn’t jealous when I take calls, someone who is relatively local - the three hour thing is just so aggravating when I really want someone with me sometimes. I’ve been handed something great. Any other girl would fall in love with him. Maybe I just don’t know what I want.

Oh and I re-did the front page to my website at http://letmeseduceyou.com - pretty cool animation that took me forever to get it the “artistic painted” look…..

Love you all!