Current Wardrobe: Blue jeans, long sleeved dark red velvet shirt, blue and yellow striped cotton thong, white socks, white hat
Just got back from dinner a couple hours ago. Sometimes when you look at someone long enough, you start to discover someone’s humanity. Kind of like what Greg Kinnear’s character said in “As Good As It Gets”… because I found myself looking at Aaron (the hottest waiter to ever bring me coffee) like a human being and not like a piece of meat. I got to admit… when I see a sexy guy I tend to whistle, hoot, flirt, and be completely out there - I think more about sex and lust more than passion and chemistry. But with Aaron I am so quiet and shy like a chicken bone is in my mouth where nothing comes out. Which is so weird because I’ve had this undeniable infatuation with him for four months now. And I am just now learning how to speak in whole sentences with him. Tonight I looked at him and for the first time and I found myself discovering something new… about me. And it was beautiful. To just look at someone, to watch a man carry himself and be unphased by watching eyes. It mesmorized me.
Sometimes I find comfort and solace in the most unusual of places. But lately I’ve found that when one or two people allow you to just vent… without any expectations, without any judgement… it truly is a remarkable feeling.
About three nights ago I had something bad happen.
I have a security guard in my apartment complex who has been flirting with me off and on for about two months. It has been a mutual flirtation, both of us smiling at each other, sometimes he would take my trash out or walk me to my car, etc. Well three nights ago he knocks at my door… he sees my guitar and he plays me a few songs and even sings to me from the doorway (was just like being in a movie)… and about an hour later he knocks at the door again and he is on his 30 minute break. I let him in my apartment for the first time and after talking a while, we start kissing on the sofa. All of a sudden he starts groping me and touching me all over and I was telling him to slow down because he was moving too fast and I wasn’t ready. So he has the nerve to tell me… (and I am quoting him word for word)… “Well can I have a blowjob before my break is over?”
How the hell do I respond to that? I was completely disrespected. Then he proceeded to grab me by the back of my head and try to put it in his lap (repeatedly). So I had to ask him to leave. And he did. It just kills me. I mean… this is a person who had gone out of his way to be with me. He broke many apartment complex rules to step in my living room. And for two months he had smiled at me, winked, waved, flirted, you name it. And then this. I was completely mortified and disgusted.
Ugh… just when you think you’ve gotten to know somebody.
Thankfully…… for every bad person in this world, there is a wonderful person. And I will say that finding that wonderful person who lets you talk to them and just let it out - an open shoulder - speaks louder than any word. A very special man called me the other night and just let me talk and he listened. And it was one of the best feelings to be able to get it out of my system. And of course afterwards we fucked like jack rabbits, but that’s another story 
I got some good news. One of my very good friends is going to come over and model for me nude and in person so I don’t have to paint from a photograph. I am very excited because I just bought some really big canvases and have such a good idea. I am so inspired! MMMMM I just love this!
A special thank you to my detroit stripper for the very sweet whistle that touched me more than words can say — the words you wrote were truly heartfelt for me and it meant more than I can ever describe.
And wow, a surprise package in the mail from my California boy who bought me Norah Jones new cd which I have been listening to repeatedly over and over tonight and it is sooo relaxing and is just so comforting (and I REALLY needed something comforting tonight - this is perfect!). And a lovely drawing art technique book which I will get lots of use from reading! Thank you sweetie *kisses* you are sooo nice to think of me like that! *kisses*
My sister came over briefly yesterday, we went grocery shopping together and were singing down the aisles because we like to harmonize… and then we played a sexual game (we’ve been doing this forever) where both of us would go as long as we could in a normal conversation making every sentence sexually related. The whole point is to freak out the other people around us. The only rule is that we cannot laugh. Here is an example:
(I pick up coffee)
Me: mmm coffee - it is so wet, should we get some?
My sister: only if you can keep it hot
Me: oh I can keep anything hot, question is… will it satisfy me?
My sister: well it’s dark so I am sure it will fill you up
Me: once you go black you never go back
My sister: I don’t know about that, I like cream
Me: aah so you don’t like it powdery?
My sister: Nah that causes itchiness
Me: so you like it moist?
My sister: I like anything that stays wet
Me: Aaah ok so you don’t want it frigid
My sister: wonder if they have viagara that can dissolve in coffee
(we go into the seafood section)
My sister: aah smells like dead fish
Me: wasn’t me. I douched
(the guy behind the counter stares at us … me and her keep talking)
My sister: I wonder if the butchers actually masturbate to the smell of it
Me: Maybe, I’ve done calls with guys who masturbate to the smell of crayons so who knows.
My sister: I masturbated smelling chocolate one time
Me: Yeah but have you orgasmed 6 times while taking one lick off a piece of Godiva?
My sister: mmm try seven!
(and we keep going and going and going for hours… every sentence has to be sexually related to the first one)…. it is so fun!
Shoutouts:
Had a fantastic sexy call hypnotizing my obedient Connecticut bondage pantyboy mmmm, had THREE calls with my sissy brianna who followed his homework assignment and got a tanga from Victoria’s Secret like he was supposed to, had TWO calls making hot monkey love with one sexy guy while I was moaning in bed, had a fun roleplay with a new caller who let me be the girl next door sunbathing by the jacuzzi sunbathing and we ended up having sex and cumming really hard! Had a great hypnosis session with my west virginia photographer who was so much fun, had a surprise call with my sexy Jax pantyboy who let me be his aunt who made him feel so ashamed for wearing panties and LIKING it, had TWO calls with a sexy guy who wore a petticoat and a J-cup bra filled with rice in his garage mmmmhmmm, had a cool fun call with a pathetic yet obedient weed slave who was sooo respectful to his Mistress and pleased me. Had an awesome call with my San Francisco musician who let me suck him and deepthroat him sooo good, had a kick ass call with my memorable rapist who (instead of vomiting on me like usual) let me drug him into a shemale and we had the most unexpected mindblowing call, had a hot hot hot HOT sexy call with my Latin lover who let me cum HARD with his big brown dick inside me mmmmhmmm, had a great call with my iowa pantyboy who was so pretty in his panties and looked so adorable, had TWO calls with the shyest guy I have ever talked to - my boston pantyboy who was almost shaking on the phone cause he bought panties all by himself hehee, had TWO calls with my charming prince hypnotizing him and making love to him - too bad his wife almost caught him during the first call that would have been bad *giggles*, had THREE calls with my sexy Austin pussy pleaser… who…. leaves me breathless… at loss for words… and is the type of guy I could easily fall for - cumming with you has never felt so good… thank you for taking the time to be rough, to be gentle, to be mean, to be nice, to be everything I ever ask. There should be more men like you!!! Wow. Had a WHOLE HOUR with my Alaskan slave who let me hypnotize him into pleasing me and wow did he - my poor feet couldn’t take any more - ooh how I love them licked! Had a fantastic call with a new caller who let me be a snobby cheerleader who turned into a hardcore leather-attired dominatrix who collared him and gagged him - wow that was awesome! And mmmm had a fun time blackmailing my pennsylvania pantyboy and I even have his work number and the address of where his company is so I could use any information against him in the event he disobeys me — and man he just cums at the thought of me telling everyone that he got SPANKED BY WONDERWOMAN!
Aaah I can honestly say I do NOT have a boring or predictable job. Every call I have is incredibly different. This job KICKS ASS!
It is good to see that something nice can happen to you to offset the unacceptable behaviour that you experienced earlier. Sadly, there are too many men out there that are not gentlemen, and feel that a kiss automatically entitles them to much, much more. You certainly deserve better.
hmm your right upto a point. Gentelman are rare finds indeed if a lady finds one she should hold on to him for dear life. But other ladies I know seem to like bad boys. I guess it all depends on the individual.