I need more professional shots of me. Most of the ones I have are self-portraits taken around the home just being silly (which I post in my journal). Whenever someone interviews me for a magazine, newspaper, newsletter, or in this case, on a website… I’m often asked for professional photos and the only ones I have were taken a LONG time ago when I was a hundred pounds heavier. I guess I always have had a fear of being photographed professionally because it feels so posed and plastic, when I am obviously the opposite of that. And it requires trusting another photographer to shoot me at my best angles which rarely they do. I’m not ditching my wigs (at least not the expensive human hair ones). It’s who I am. It’s part of my wardrobe, just like people wear designer shoes or purses. And plus it’s the one part of me that feels the most creative. I feel if someone asks me to stop wearing wigs “for credibility” then they’re asking me to give up my individuality just to fit in “Boringville” so I can impress a few skeptical people. I don’t care about impressing people who think I’m “not a hypnotist” because I know what I’m capable of and my income agrees with me.
One anonymous person *who I swear only writes negative shit* had the audacity to say I couldn’t hypnotize people. I’m not forcing you to read my blog. If you think I don’t have the ability to hypnotize people, then how come you’re hypnotized to keep coming back to read about my life? If you *don’t* like me, then go find someone else with whom to obsess. I am not here to earn your favor or cater to your “little box world.”
One thing people *like* about me is my creativity. Wearing wigs is a real part of me because I play dress up all the time, transforming and changing to get wild and crazy. It’s fun and exciting and makes life more entertaining. Asking me to give that up is like asking me to change into a DIFFERENT career just to please the masses. My career would change. My clientelle would be different. *sigh* Look at other celebrities who wear wigs - Madonna… Jenna Jameson… RuPaul… each one of them are multi-millionaires who love to play dress up and enjoy their transformation. If people think they’re uncredible or look like “phone-sex operators” because they show bare shoulders, look who has the last laugh. At least they get to express a part of themselves they ENJOY and get paid for it.
Yes, I agree there are areas in my professional perception that could be tweaked and could stand to learn a few things. I never took Business 101. However, I’ve gotten to be who I am and where I am - by being me.
You can quote me on this. Somehow I feel more “me” with a wig, than without. I’d rather be poor and happy and be able to play dress up in my wigs, than be a multi-millionaire and miserable because crowds didn’t want them. I am a crossdressing man living in a woman’s body. I’ve always wished I had a penis. I want a girl to suck me off and want to pee my name on the snow. I’ve ALWAYS felt like a man (even my father wanted a little boy) and years ago even considered gender-reassignment surgery (which I won’t do, just thought about it). I am a transgendered person and have never really “felt” like a woman unless I am doing the dressup thing. I used to go on stage at gay bars and dress as a faux queen and drag king and have the ladies throw money at me. I feel more “real” crossdressing (as a man or a woman), than I do in my own skin. I love myself and always have, but my confidence soars even higher when I dress as a different character because it’s my way of saying, “What character will I choose to portray today?” Some people may think it’s sad, but you know what? It’s honest.
It’s who I am, folks. If you don’t like it, stop reading my journal. I’m not forcing you to be here.
Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox
































































































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