I need more professional shots of me. Most of the ones I have are self-portraits taken around the home just being silly (which I post in my journal). Whenever someone interviews me for a magazine, newspaper, newsletter, or in this case, on a website… I’m often asked for professional photos and the only ones I have were taken a LONG time ago when I was a hundred pounds heavier. I guess I always have had a fear of being photographed professionally because it feels so posed and plastic, when I am obviously the opposite of that. And it requires trusting another photographer to shoot me at my best angles which rarely they do. I’m not ditching my wigs (at least not the expensive human hair ones). It’s who I am. It’s part of my wardrobe, just like people wear designer shoes or purses. And plus it’s the one part of me that feels the most creative. I feel if someone asks me to stop wearing wigs “for credibility” then they’re asking me to give up my individuality just to fit in “Boringville” so I can impress a few skeptical people. I don’t care about impressing people who think I’m “not a hypnotist” because I know what I’m capable of and my income agrees with me.
One anonymous person *who I swear only writes negative shit* had the audacity to say I couldn’t hypnotize people. I’m not forcing you to read my blog. If you think I don’t have the ability to hypnotize people, then how come you’re hypnotized to keep coming back to read about my life? If you *don’t* like me, then go find someone else with whom to obsess. I am not here to earn your favor or cater to your “little box world.”
One thing people *like* about me is my creativity. Wearing wigs is a real part of me because I play dress up all the time, transforming and changing to get wild and crazy. It’s fun and exciting and makes life more entertaining. Asking me to give that up is like asking me to change into a DIFFERENT career just to please the masses. My career would change. My clientelle would be different. *sigh* Look at other celebrities who wear wigs - Madonna… Jenna Jameson… RuPaul… each one of them are multi-millionaires who love to play dress up and enjoy their transformation. If people think they’re uncredible or look like “phone-sex operators” because they show bare shoulders, look who has the last laugh. At least they get to express a part of themselves they ENJOY and get paid for it.
Yes, I agree there are areas in my professional perception that could be tweaked and could stand to learn a few things. I never took Business 101. However, I’ve gotten to be who I am and where I am - by being me.
You can quote me on this. Somehow I feel more “me” with a wig, than without. I’d rather be poor and happy and be able to play dress up in my wigs, than be a multi-millionaire and miserable because crowds didn’t want them. I am a crossdressing man living in a woman’s body. I’ve always wished I had a penis. I want a girl to suck me off and want to pee my name on the snow. I’ve ALWAYS felt like a man (even my father wanted a little boy) and years ago even considered gender-reassignment surgery (which I won’t do, just thought about it). I am a transgendered person and have never really “felt” like a woman unless I am doing the dressup thing. I used to go on stage at gay bars and dress as a faux queen and drag king and have the ladies throw money at me. I feel more “real” crossdressing (as a man or a woman), than I do in my own skin. I love myself and always have, but my confidence soars even higher when I dress as a different character because it’s my way of saying, “What character will I choose to portray today?” Some people may think it’s sad, but you know what? It’s honest.
It’s who I am, folks. If you don’t like it, stop reading my journal. I’m not forcing you to be here.
Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox
i love reading your Journal. i hope that the only time You change how You post is when it comes naturally…NOT because of some a$$ that puts You down.
i love Your journal because it IS You and not some fictitious character.
Keep up the BRILLIANT work!
Sigh. I soooo know what you mean in that paragraph about being “a crossdressing man living in a woman’s body.” I have always said that I am a gay man living in a woman’s body.
And anyone giving you a hard time for wearing wigs just plain needs more to occupy his or her mind and time.
here here girl! I love the way you put those moaning boringsville people in their place. When will people start realising that SOME of us, do not live our lives trying to please the masses?
This reminds me of a Milton Erickson story.
There was one woman who saw him concerning important needs she had which she found impossible to fulfill given this and that and the other reasons, which she elaborated upon in detail. She first arrived to his office late and harried, and she apologized and explained that she had just managed to catch the last train to Phoenix, Arizona.
Erickson explained her case to his students and said that he diagnosed her condition within the first minute of speaking with her. He said she was “a pathological liar.” He riddled them to figure out how he came to that conclusion so quickly, and as usual they were all vexed.
“She said that she had taken the ‘last train’ to Phoenix, Arizona. There is no ‘last train’ to Phoenix, Arizona!”
I’m confused how my entry reminds you of that…
Playing dress up is one of the most amazing things to do in this life- and it isn’t so much hiding who we are as bringing out different aspects of that person. It’s a comment i received a few times, if outfits like my favorite little black skirt and all the accoutements were being worn people would say “why can’t you just be yourelf?” As if wearing- what, jeans and a t shirt?- was someone purer and truer. Anyway, i think Your creativity is a brilliant and beautiful and exciting thing & it’s a wonderful thing to experience. & the people who send hateful and insulting comments, there’s a problem with someone who chooses to go to your site, to read your journal, and then be negative. People need to have more respect, i swear.
I think that you should use the photo where you look like Carmen Electra. It’s sexy and sophisticated too
When I first heard the story I took it to mean that the limits that others present to us in terms of what they think is possible and impossible isn’t necessarily so. When people habitually think in terms of always or never, they may be “pathologically lying” to themselves and others.
So, with regard to the wigs and how you may look to others if you do or don’t do this or that and permanent changes in your status, and your response to all that… that story popped right up.
hi, why have I been removed from your friend list? Us Dommes have to stick together. Can I be readded?
Goddess, Your wigs are awesome and they are fun. I love them!
xxx eb
Isabella,
Would You please write an autobiography?
After reading this entry and so many others, I’ve come to the conclusion that You are one of the most intelligent and fascinating people I know.
I bet it would be a best seller and I would love to see You on Oprah!
Love
george
PS Kinsey would be proud…