2008 June | IsabellaValentine.com

Archive for June, 2008

Behind-the-Scenes Video

Published on June 24, 2008 in Journal posts. 2 Comments

A few people have requested over the last couple years that I release a video that captures the behind-the-scenes process that goes into the making of a recording. Today I’m pleased to present such a video and it’s simply titled, “Behind-the-Scenes” for lack of a better title. I do hope you all like it. It was created off the cuff and truth be told, there was no preparation process for the actual video. You all may recognize the shy boy talking behind the video camera as slave maurice, who had the awesome idea to videotape while asking random questions, so I just went with it. So I’m popping it in the Video Blog for those that appreciate a peek into my reality, as casual as it is. If anyone wants to watch it, you can see it here: Behind-The-Scenes.

Here’s a couple screenshots of the video:

Isabella Valentine - Making of Erotic Hypnosis Video

Behind The Scenes Video - Watch Now

Love
Isabella
xoxooxxo

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Invoke Isabella

Published on June 24, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

Erotic Hypnosis MP3 Recording

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Invoke Isabella

For those desire a more personal relationship with Me, you may secretly appreciate this hypnosis session more than new customers. In this very special recording, melt in the beautiful surrender of Goddess Isabella.

This mp3 is designed for listeners who have already developed a relationship with Me over time and are now ready to take a step to take it a level deeper. Like you, I’ve found that showing my vulnerable side can be a very scary place. Trusting someone can be equally hard. That’s why so many people find it hard to be hypnotized. People can get so wrapped up in “trying to surrender” that they get so scared of letting go. I’ve been there. Boy have I been there. In this session, I’d like you to trust the surrender and just fall into it. When you do, you may just discover why people listen to erotic hypnosis in the first place.

If you’re ready to trust me, then you’re ready for this recording. Otherwise… save your money.

Allow My water sign to cool down the magnificent flame above your head. You think you’ve heard it all before. Have you? One thing that remains the same is your insatiable desire to get lost… lost… lost… in the beautiful surrender of My world. Become aroused by the personal memories I insert directly into your cock to make you feel oh sooo good. Feel the hypnotic vibrations in your cock as you realize My mind is stimulating your sperm. I like watching you wriggle with excitement =)

This mp3 comes with two very special treats. One is that it’s designed to give you energetic (possibly even physical) orgasms without touching yourself so your whole body will respond to memories of Me. *sigh* No masturbation required. Now isn’t that hot? The second treat, as if that isn’t the coolest thing in the world, is that during the making of this mp3, slave m and I decided to film a 43 minute (free) behind-the-scenes video to show you the creation process of what goes into an actual hypnosis product. So although this mp3 is only 23 minutes long (a little shorter than most), would you agree I’ve given a beautiful incentive for you to listen to the whole thing? Yes, this is why you love Me.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: No
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: No
Overdubbing Vocals: No
Length: 23 minutes, 46 seconds
Zip File Size: Approx. 20 MB
Price: $35.00

Buy Now

Upcoming tattoos

Published on June 21, 2008 in Journal posts. 2 Comments

My friend, Kat, has spent the last couple months coming up with many art concepts which I love because it inspires me to get more tattoos (*mischevious grin*). I conveyed my interest of a Summoner, which I feel self-represents my inner reflection of the super-human side of myself that gets what I want. And within the art I wanted to show my water sign, my witchy side, my magical side, my dominant side, my beautiful-love side, and my summoning of trust. Here… is the finished outcome, which I am completely blown away with and am so appreciative of the time she spent to draw this for me. Thank you, Kat, for your diligence, patience, and talent! I’d like to get this tattooed on my right leg very soon because I feel this is something I can connect with for the rest of my life. It’s beautiful and sentimental in so many ways. What I love the most is that everything about the piece speaks one word: “Love.” I’ve shrunk both of these down for size for the purpose of fitting in my blog but they’ll be larger than life when they’re inked on my body

Here’s the piece I’m titling, “Isabella the Summoner,”:
Isabella Valentine Summoner

And this other piece of art was originally created by Yangfan and it’s been manipulated slightly so that it’s thinner and less wide on the side so it will fit appropriately on my arm for the tattoo. It’s titled, “The Ice Queen” which I feel represents the hypnotic, dominant, sensual, sexual, mesmerizing, and seductive side of myself. It will go on my left arm.

Meet the Ice Queen:

Isabella Valentine the Ice Queen

So those are two art designs I plan on getting inked permanently on my body very soon. I’m very connected to them and can’t wait to get them absorbed into me forever

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox

Photoshooting

Published on June 19, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

One thing I’ve learned in my short life is that if you’re not feeling loved… is to give love. It works. During my moments of hurt (which trust me, hurt quite a lot), I had to reach from a Rumi-Shams place. There in that beautiful nirvana is an infinite love that allows one to experience love regardless of their pain. It felt sooo good to give love knowing how I felt at the time. It felt oh so good to do it. And so therapeutic! Not only did it feel wonderful to give to those who I felt at the time betrayed me, but I think it somehow helped build a different and much-needed foundation for a newfound friendship. It also turned out that there was miscommunication, which often is the case, which led to me feeling lied to. The hurt lessened. Although the surrender-magic is still gone for me, the love is not. I cannot ever stop loving. I must love. I must love people. I must give myself. I must love others even if they hurt me. I must love. I must I must I must. It was so so so so hard to get over the obstacles to find that Rumi place. But once I got there, the love just started shining and damn if it doesn’t just start flowing out of me like a fountain. Say what you want about me, love me, hate me, but I don’t hold grudges. Never have. Never will. There’s too much too love in life and too much worth appreciating out there.

Yesterday Kasha and I spent nearly 12 or 13 hours (maybe longer with hair, makeup, and wardrobe changes) doing photoshoots for her website. Xaenith came over to watch and slave m helped out with some of the lighting and set design. Over the course of the next couple weeks, I’ll post some pictures of the finished products so you can see how magnificent she looks up close and personal.

In this particular blurry photo, you might notice my leg in the shot (I was trying to show my presence in the photo), as well as Xaenith leaning against the wall watching, as well as Kasha on the bed posing for shots. It isn’t the greatest of photos by any means and you can’t even really make out any faces… but I figured it would be cool to share a part of our 3-experience we had yesterday.

Isabella Valentine

The three of us are learning how to communicate better which I love, which shows me that we can overcome anything. Anything worth having takes time. Sometimes I feel like I’m just a baby and learning how to walk and don’t know anything. Sometimes I feel like I just don’t know… anything. Maybe everything I thought I knew… I really don’t know at all. Just when I think I understand and know people, I get it all wrong.

This is why it continually amazes me that my hypnosis-listeners look up to me. They actually think I say insightful stuff… when the truth is… times like this… I don’t know a damn thing. I’m clueless. About love. About communication. About… aaahAHAHahahhahahahaha…

All I do know is… I made the decision a long time ago that I’m a Goddess, so I refuse to be a ragdoll or a pin cushion for someone else’s pleasure. There are slaves for that. If someone is going to be cold to me, I will either be hurt by it or I will opt out of the relationship. Which leads me to the main question I get wrapped around and tangled with: how many moments of hurt must a person endure before they say: enough is enough - I want out?…… *sigh* I endured one. But it was one of the biggest hurts of my life. Why did it hurt so much, you ask? Because I wanted it to hurt that much. He offered to be my drug, which I needed him to be. And when that drug was taken away from me, it felt like heroin being stripped from my spirituality. Now that I feel I’m sobered up from “the magic of the relationship” - I have an option. I could get addicted to the beautiful, addictive magical spiritual heroin he could give me, which I know good and well is NOT infinite and feel good while it lasts…. and then experience the horrible chills of the “come down” experience when I realize I need more time with him than he has time he’s willing to commit. *sigh*

So for the time being, I’ve made the decision to be without the drug. And goddammit it was one of the most memorable experiences I ever had. The way he looked at me WAS the drug. That’s ALL it was. It certainly wasn’t physical at all. I got lost in his eyes and they’d turn me into dust, literally. And he was a boy, Jesus Christ. A boy.

I’m a hopeful romantic. I can’t help but hope for magic all the time. It’s all I think about, really. And people wonder why I prefer girls. Maybe it’s best to stick with what I know best… women.

Love
Isabella
xoxoox

Progress

Published on June 16, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

One beautiful experience I have from all of this is that during the one month we dated, I managed to evaporate 25 pounds, which I felt had a lot to do from being in the most intense spiritual love of my life. He helped me discover a “sting” place of fulfillment without food. Not sure if that makes sense or not. Now I just have to figure out a way to tap into that beautiful love energy all the time so that when I want to stuff my face, I stuff my heart instead.

As of today, I’ve shed between 113-115 pounds, depending on how much water I’ve had.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoo

Over.

Published on June 16, 2008 in Journal posts. 7 Comments

I’m not going to delve too much into my current love situation because aAAAaah, but I can say with almost all certainty that the overwhelmingly beautiful romantic-spiritual relationship that was being built is currently over or at least dwindled to the point which I literally had to reintroduce my name (which I think had to do with fear or jealousy issues from other parties) and I am broken hearted.

I’ve analyzed this to death for days and I feel hurt and betrayed because I was given reassurance and told to trust that the outcome would be beautiful. I was also lied to, I feel.

Needless to say, I’d like to think I’m strong and will bounce back, like I always do, from everything. I love everyone - even those that hurt me. I love them more, actually, because I increased their closeness even though it pulled us in opposite directions. I love bringing people happiness. In fact, I thank them for it because it only helps me learn. I love the learning process I go through every day and enjoy the beautiful suffering of it.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

Completely off topic. I would like to take this time to make an official request for anyone who wants to cuddle with me on the orgy couch. My request is this. Cuddle with me if your intention is to arouse me or make me feel good (not out of obligation or cause someone asked or told you to), cause that’s just hot. And if you’re going to tell someone to cuddle with me cause you see me alone, then my request is that you only say it if you want me to be aroused by it. Otherwise don’t tell someone to cuddle with me. Cause that’s just not coolness. I like being aroused and happy and chill by snuggling and I like adding intensity to others who touch me. You gotta agree, it’s hot to see people get excited, right? I have decided as of this moment to have people consider the following agreement: if people want to enter the space within the orgy couch that they also agree that their intimate spaces may be encroached upon which may lead to unfamiliar feelings which may lead to exciting feelings of arousal. Nuff said. Otherwise, there are other couches, etc.

Orgy Couch

Published on June 7, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

Thought I’d take a photo of my new orgy couch… it’s a perfect tool for getting people to cuddle with me when they come over. Mmm wanna cuddle with me?

Orgy Couch

and here’s what it looks like at night:

Orgy Couch

Love
Isabella
xoxoox

Success, Humility, and Dance

Published on June 6, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

I’ve found myself amazed, for four years in a row, at the level of talent people display on So You Think You Can Dance. It blows me away that people can pop like that and do hip hop, ballet, salsa, and breakdancing in such a phenomenal way. I suppose if I were thinner, my knees would allow me to bend much more freely to be able to dance better. Vicariously, I live through them… watching them make it… or not make it…

Not only do I love the show for the amazing dance moves, but what really does it for me is the personal connections to the contestants. There’s a level of personalism and “getting to know them” that allows me to feel their pain if they fail… or feel their pleasure if they succeed. And I suppose one really important element that I continually learn from - is how to handle rejection.

When I was a poet-writer many years ago, I sent submissions to thousands of books, magazines, and publications and received hundreds of rejection letters. I used to frame my rejection letters sometimes just to prove to myself it was worth the struggle. When I received my first “yes” to publication, my heart stopped. And I can only assume that’s how those dancers often feel when they’re told to move on to the next round. Between the ages of 14-18, I was published in about 300 different publications and by the age of 19, I published my own book of poetry under a different pen name. But until that point, just the act of trying to get my work noticed… was heat too intense for flames. Now I can appreciate the coolness of it. This show is like icing for me. I love watching people succeed. And I love even MORE watching people who were rejected years ago… work hard… and harder… and hardest… to come back and make it on the show. I love seeing people who work hard for the things they want.

I must admit, I do cringe when a contestant starts giving excuses for their behavior or starts talking too much to the judges. One thing I’ve humbly learned over the years is when to shut up and just surrender to the masters. There are students and there are teachers. If a student is humble enough to trust the knowledge being offered to them, they are sure to shine for the rest of their lives. While it’s perfectly encouraged to question advice and learnings privately, it’s quite another to be confrontational to those trying to teach you.

So You Think You Can Dance

Speaking of learning… later on this month, I’m going to begin taking Reiki classes.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox

This is what love feels like

Published on June 4, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

So this is what love feels like. It feels like surrender. I don’t think I’ve ever… in my entire adult life… surrendered to another human being like this. And I love it.

A part of me wants to write really sappy things, but actions speak louder than words. Over the course of our relationship, I’ve invested my time and energy into sharing a part of myself in ways I never have to anyone before. I got Xaenith a cool black Fender guitar… and he wrote me a song and serenaded me with it. He plays beautifully, and I’ve had a guitar fetish for as long as I can remember (piano too). I also got him a cool psychedelic guitar pick which has a string around it for wearing around the neck, which he wears every day. It’s a constant visual reminder of our budding relationship. He drew an awesome dragon phoenix (a symbol of the dragon-bird tattoo on his arm), and gave it to me as a gift, which I placed on my pagan altar in the Lea~Koa room. For the past week or so, I’ve been creating him a staff (which I just finished). It was initially a long, tall, thick tree branch he found in my backyard and over time, I sanded it down, painted it, then coated it with several coats of polyurethane. It looks so cool now! I’m tempted to share a photo of it, but I think I’ll wait until he comes back over and take a picture of him holding it. He loved it so much… and just seeing his appreciation for the time that went into it was totally worth it.

I must admit, I’m feeling particularly cautious talking about our relationship in this public journal just for the reason that… in the past… talking about my relationships tended to lead to customers either getting jealous or envious and/or feeling less connected to me (which blows my mind because when I feel love, it makes my recordings that much more impressive). My impression is that if I’m in love, some customers will no longer feel they “have a chance” with me, and therefore leave. I certainly hope that’s not the case, because my search for love has been a lifelong process and the struggles have been so vast that even the smallest ounce of success outweighs it all. Words cannot describe the feelings that have devoured me. The only reason I choose to disclose what’s going on in my personal life in this way… is because… this is why people read my journal. Some people actually get closer to me when they know what’s going on. If I feel any subject matter is too private, I’ll post it in my other, more private blog - which he is totally ok with. In the meantime, I hope that any posts I make regarding this relationship will bring me closer to all of you, which is my goal in doing so. If all I had was success, I’d be boring. When it comes to love, it’s been a roller coaster ride, often with lots of falls and dips. I think many people can identify with the longing, the waiting, the searching, and the strategies involved in the finding and strengthening a love relationship.

Things I like about us:
We both like to perform magic spells
We both like to wear punk goth stuff and have fascinations for skulls, dragons, video games.
We both embrace the dark side as well as the white side.
We both have tattoos in the same places
We both enjoy guitar, heavy metal, music, and even soft new age world music
We both have the same mutual friends and have hung out every week since December
We are telepathically and psychically in tune with one another
We are both sculpting our bodies and fine tuning them
We both love shamanism, healing, and hypnosis
We smoke the same type of American Spirit cigarettes
We both enjoy intimate cuddling and observing the universe’s connections
We both know how important communication is, and strive to ALWAYS communicate
We trust each other on a level that surprises both of us
We both love dragons, spirit animals, and exotic entities
We love and know the same people who love us back
We both love each other and have the same vision of our relationship
We both have excellent reputations - in and out of the bedroom
We embrace each other’s differences and similarities
We learn from each other’s strengths to fortify our weaknesses
We both think we’re hot and have a high level of confidence without being pompous or arrogant
We both think girls are incredibly hot and sexy
We both think boys can be hot, given it’s the right kind of rare man
We’re mutually equal to one another

…. I could go on forever, but those things, mentioned above, really matter to me.

Ironically, we haven’t even kissed yet. It only increases the energy between us. On multiple occasions, our lips have been an inch away and instead of kissing, we fucked with our eyes. Heaven.

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx

P.S. We had an enlightening discussion last night about how he definitely wants to jump off the skyscraper with me (in a sexual way), and can’t wait to be the first guy I’ve been with in years. In the meantime, he still wants to mix the mud, to make the bricks, to make the foundation first. We have the same vision, which is awesome… I am no longer in a hurry to jump because it’s so much fun mixing the foundation. I love the way we tease each other, as part of the buildup. All I needed to know is that we were seeing the same skyscraper as part of our vision, and WOW we totally agree. In fact, he totally envisions us, within a year from now when our bodies are sculpted precisely how we crafted them, as being a power couple. Our lights are already shining, but a year from now, we could power a whole neighborhood. That’s so hot.

Here’s a photo taken last night in the Lea~Koa room:

Isabella Valentine

Brave the heart

Published on June 3, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

So this morning I mustered up all the courage within me… and confronted my fear of rejection head on. I used every possible communication skill within me to share my fears, worries, and concerns with my partner as well as asked what I could have done differently or what would make this work better for us in the future and the response was shockingly beautiful. My partner, Xaenith… wants to take things slow. Breathe. I can play the slow game. I kick ass at the slow game. The most beautiful things in life are the ones that took a great deal of time to create. It would be an honor to create this relationship from the foundation up knowing there is all the time in the world to piece it together. I just needed to hear there was mutual interest. And WOW was there.

It still, though, however… does not appease the horniness.

I suppose the next best thing to being with a partner is… listening to my own recordings. I can do that. In fact, you all should expect all my future recordings (if they’re not already) to be intensely personal.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox

Horny

Published on June 2, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

I haven’t been fucked (at least on a physical + spiritual level)… in years. I’m horny. I’m beginning to think maybe I’ve lost my touch. Strange thing is, I FEEL more attractive than I ever have. So how come I’m not getting any? Masturbation is fun, but I need my brains fucked out. I tried to reach out on a physical level last night and got shot down. Or at least, I perceived it that way. Relationships are confusing. We love each other on an intensely spiritually-sexual level, this we know. But how do I play the game of turning it physical? I feel like my hypnosis and mind control failed. Or maybe I’m on the receiving end of a really difficult game of catch.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox