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Sex life, granted!

Published on July 31, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

This morning I have been converted to a down-the-middle bisexual. I’m not sure why I never embraced the word “bisexual” before. A part of me felt it was sitting on a fence and being indecisive. Holy shit. There’s so many fences I’d like to sit on because I can jump over it whenever I want! Since 2003 I’ve embraced lesbianism and, although I had some romantic interludes with men, being with women was the easier way I could really let loose and feel true arousal.

I’ve asked slave m permission to talk about what I’m about to say, and we both would like to extend a peek into our lives for the purpose of hoping it connects to people on a very deep level. All we ask for is understanding. He and I have been living together off and on for almost two years but up until now we’ve had a nonexistent sex life. If I wanted to arouse him, I would hypnotize him or dominate him with whips and chains. He loved it. But the physical sex simply wasn’t there. Sometimes it would be hard for ME to get aroused by him, like if he would try to lick my pussy, because I would get aggravated because it didn’t feel right and I didn’t know how to take my time and teach him to do the things I like. By the way, teaching someone how to lick pussy while getting aroused is much harder than it appears! It was frustrating so I just gave up. Many times he’d walk away sad or disappointed because he felt he wasn’t pleasing me to the best of his abilities. It took me a while to embrace the idea that it was my RESPONSIBILITY to teach him and if I choose not to, then that’s my fault. Last night he licked my pussy on the kitchen floor after I hypnotized him which led to me cumming three floor-mopping times. He walked away feeling proud, a new man. Glowing with confidence. Then of course I gave him incentive to do it again in the future by reminding him that my world record is cumming 100 times within 2 hours. Now he has something to shoot for. Gotta have goals! While he went down on me, I did my very best to direct him. I guided him through the process of licking me the way I wanted to be licked. I explained how I like my clit sucked super hard but not too hard and when to lick softly and when to add more pressure. His eagerness to please me is so impressive that I want to reward him every minute. I remind him every day how happy I am that we’re together. I get goose bumps just remembering that he made me orgasm with his mouth for the first time - ever! Now I can’t wait to have his buried between my legs again. Hotness!!!

What I’m about to say might sound “crazy” to some and may land me in the hospital again, but I’ll say it anyway. I channeled Source/God into my hand while slave m slept (two nights ago) and allowed healing to flow from my hand into m’s cock. Many men, including slave m, struggle with erectile dysfunction and sometimes even impotence. He didn’t always used to have the problem. He used to brag about how good he was in bed, which is one of the things that appealed to me before we met. However right before he moved in, his testosterone levels began to decrease at a dangerously rapid pace which was causing a hormonal imbalance. For him it was embarrassing and he didn’t want to tell people about it. He started growing breasts (which he covers by wearing thick shirts), his voice became more soft and girly, his handwriting was super swirly and feminine, and many of his mannerisms were classic girl-like. For me, I felt a good way to ease his comfort would be to help him embrace feminization so he would embrace his fears of being humiliated for this problem. Sometimes I’d make fun of him just to prove to him how sexy it could be to be treated like a girl. He would get hard as a rock when I would dress him in panties or humiliate him. But most of the time I’d be sad when I’d want to be fucked and he’d have difficulty maintaining an erection. Viagara didn’t work. It was psychological and we both knew this. The night before I got admitted into the hospital, when I was “God,” I got the grand idea to balance our homonal levels. With my hand on his pituitary gland and then on his abdomen, I transferred my extra levels of testosterone into his body and transferred his extra estrogen into mine. Until that point, I always felt more masculine than feminine. He always felt more feminine than masculine. With the help of magic, we became balanced. We both felt the transfer and it had real energy behind it. He woke up out of his sleep and said, “I felt that!”

Last night (or was it the night before), I channeled God through my hand and concentrated on increasing his blood flow to his penis so that he could maintain erections for a longer period of time. His cock instantly got hard and STAYED hard and I wasn’t even arousing it. I only had one finger touching him and it wasn’t even moving. His cock must have stayed erect for at least an hour while he slept. (Which by the way, I seem to channel God the most when I’m sleeping so all this happened while we were in bed.) I told him that within 7 days his body would function normally again. I hypnotized him while he slept and watched his eyes twitch under his eyelids, which let me know his subconscious mind was listening.

This morning I wanted to test his cock out and make him my guinea pig. After I woke up from a beautiful dream and rolled over, there he was… sleeping like a baby. Out of curiousity, my eyes wandered down to his boxer shorts and there was his cock, hard as a rock. It was the first time I’d ever seen him sleeping with a boner. And it even appeared to have GROWN! My first instinct was, “Feel it. Touch it. Take it.” I just had to see how it would work!

I started sucking on his cock, which I had never done while he was waking up (in fact, yesterday was the first time I’d ever given him a blowjob before which blew his mind). His whole body responded to my mouth which made my pussy wet. I didn’t even care whether or not he was sleeping or awake. I just wanted to feel him hard in my mouth since an erection was a new experience for both of us. While sucking it, it started to get even bigger! It shocked the hell out of me. I thought it was as hard and as big as it was going to get! Then all of a sudden he woke up and realized what I was doing and he looked like a kid at Christmas when he realizes all the presents are for him. His deer-in-headlight eyes widened almost as much as his mouth did. I love seeing him shocked with happiness! We kissed, we touched. Then I told him I wanted to ride his big black cock, and boy did I mean it. In the past, this had been unsuccessful. His cock would eagerly get hard but then after a minute it would lay down and go to sleep even if psychologically he wanted it hard. This prevented me, before, from increasing my desire to have sex with him. He desperately wanted to give me an orgasm with his cock but the more we tried, the harder it became.

The night before I was hospitalized, I channeled Jesus into my body and decided to be a martyr for sex the way he was a martyr for violence. Slave m was having sex with me but his cock was limp and falling out and the whole time, I was screaming, “Yes! Fuck me!” And I was screaming so loud it could have awakened the whole neighborhood. For nearly thirty minutes, I magically “felt” his cock even though it wasn’t technically inside me. Slave m said I exhibited animal-like behavior. After that, I really can’t recall too much.

While I was hospitalized for “hallucinating I was God,” our bodies learned to heal. I even learned the art of forgiveness. It was a beautiful experience to finally TRULY forgive my mom, who I felt violently abused me physically and emotionally when I was a child. Now I love her so much that I’ll do anything for her. There are an infinite amount of methods a person can use to raise their children which avoid violence, however my mom was only aware of one way. I realized she did the best she could and she was only obeying what she thought was right. As far as slave m, he learned the art of removing guilt and sadness, which increased his inner confidence. For years, he’d feel guilty for everything, even if it wasn’t his fault. And I had deep-seeded vengeance in my heart because of my mom which is one reason why I secretly loved beating people. It was my therapeutic way of releasing my anger without actually allowing myself to be angry. That is healed now. For both of us. And I wanted to reward both of us by having sensational sex!

I crawled on top of him and before I put his cock in my pussy, I said things to him which let him know I love him. I told him I’d do anything for him, that I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him now. That I didn’t know love before. That I see it now. The look on his face was the warmest, most beautiful look I think I’d ever seen from him. We made love. It started off slow and gentle and then built up with such momentum he rolled me over and fucked me doggy style really hard. I came. I orgasmed. I screamed. His cock pounded my uterus. Most of the time I couldn’t even force my eyes open because there was no choice but to surrender to the pain of the pleasure of the pounding! It was impossible to “fake it” because there was wetness all over the sheets and every time he rammed me, his cock would break me open a little bit more. So THAT’S what an orgasm feels like with a cock inside me! Ok, here’s my just-in press release. Penises are now officially hot! It was the first time we both actually, truly, had sex from foreplay to orgasm without interruption. It was orgasmic! It defied my wildest dream! Insert a thousand superlatives here! I loved screaming and telling him how big his cock was in my pussy. If penises are meant to hurt, then I’m a masochist. I could tell he loved hearing me scream, because the harder I screamed, the deeper he’d thrust. And it turned me on even more watching him grow more confident. Hearing him grunt, listening to the slapping of skin. Hot. I’m so grateful I learned how to trust people. The reward was orgasm.

Most memorably, was being able to listen to how fast his heart was beating, feel his sweaty black body against mine, and hear him out of breath when we finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion. We snuggled, we kissed. We got the “real” experience. He’s the only cock I’ve had inside me for 2 years so I was tighter than a virgin. *DEW!!!!* Just talking about this makes me so happy! I had sex! I had sex! I had sex! I wanna scream it from a rooftop! I wanna have it again!

Today I’m proud to say our sex life has turned extraordinary. I can’t wait to fuck him again when he reads this journal entry and realizes I’m gonna relinquish his cock with another treat. By the way, I’ve been off meds for two days now. All the stuff I’ve been feeling is genuine and real, without prescriptions added. Source must have desired this too because it felt as though God was masturbating while watching us fuck each other’s brains out like virgin teenagers! *SEXY Grrrrrrooowllllll* Let’s all fuck for God! She can enjoy porn too!

By the way, my friend Kay emailed me a humble suggestion (THANK YOU!) to handwrite slave m a letter and tell him how much he means to me. After he read my letter, he almost cried and said he’d never read anything so beautiful before and he put it in a safe place to keep it. We ended up necking and making out on the staircase for about an hour just telling each other beautiful things. It was a fantastic suggestion!

I would love to hear what other people have done to spice up their sex lives and what helped bring new life into the romantic aspect of it. Sometimes just a compliment is all it takes. Please, if you read this, will you share one of your favorite things to do to make someone feel good? I can’t wait to implement your ideas!

Love
Isabella
xooxoxo

Life Enchantment

Published on July 30, 2008 in Journal posts. 2 Comments

It means so much to me that an extraordinary amount of people wrote me with letters of support, encouragement, or stories of similar experiences to what happened to me last week. I really felt that I was *alone* in my surreal spiritual first-hand experience last week. I was AMAZED at the outpouring of replies from people who shared personal stories of how people they knew went through almost exactly what I went through and almost all of them have one thing in common. Spiritual experiences can sometimes be perceived as disorders because, frankly, those who haven’t yet reached that level of enlightenment think *we’re* the crazy ones. It’s a beautiful thing to surrender to spirituality and the path I’ve been on is one I’d travel over and over again.

I allow myself to be an easy target, which is why I sometimes receive cruel letters from good people who are deeply insecure. I’ve been called everything from a fat whore to a hypnotist pig to an unfit scary person. Those letters make me more beautiful, so keep sending them! Ironically, one person wrote me today and said I shouldn’t be allowed to do my profession and should change my field. That struck me as funny actually. Didn’t I just mention two entries ago I wanted to change my profession to become a medical doctor? It’ll take years till that’s accomplished, but it’s important to have dreams. Not just that… but it seems equally humorous that one would assume that doctors, hypnotists, well… any profession for that matter… never get sick or get illnesses. Although some might call it denial, I still don’t think I’m sick, and in fact think I am perfectly well (and yes, I can still admit I went 3 nights sleep deprived which may have resulted or been symptoms of the hallucinations). If I were bipolar, I would have really high highs and really low lows. If I had a history of low-low’s then sure, I could see that. But I’ve been consistently high for two years. It’s like an adrenaline rush most of the time and it’s like I’ve been injected with shots of euphoria. The times I’ve been sad, which haven’t been many, lasted at most, two days and they were justified - whether my cat was in the hospital or someone broke up with me or moved out or whatever. So let’s see. In the last 5 years, I’ve experienced tremendous sadness for maybe a total of 10 days. Each one felt justified for sadness. When friend Aaron died, my heart needed to mourn. When my cat was in the hospital (twice), I kept my composure but still felt an ache. When I’ve had relationship troubles, sure I’d cry. It means a lot to me that people have written me and said that’s normal and we ALL go through that. We wouldn’t be human if we never experienced sadness.

Sadness and depression are two different things. I don’t think I’ve lived one depressed day of my life. Not even when I was a child. Sometimes I actually wish I WERE depressed simply so I could reach out to people who ARE depressed so I can help them out of it. Sometimes I wish I could take all the pain and misery from every person on earth and carry it on my shoulders just so other people could feel WELL and ALIVE. But that’s not my purpose during Earth-game. Right now I’m here to help people relieve sexual stress and tension. That’s why erotic hypnosis comes so naturally to me. Fetish is my middle name. Fantasy is where I live. I’m glad that God has a sense of humor with me and allows me to be a sexual Goddess in this game of life because every sign in the world seems to tell me I’m on the right path.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m far from perfect. Sometimes I pretend to be. It’s a game I play. Lately, though, I’ve been stuffing my face with humble pie and the humility tastes really good. I even gave my slave a blowjob this morning for the first time - ever. I did it because I love him and I’m confident enough in my dominant personality to not let labels prevent me from exploring my submissive side too. Anyone who read my journal entries from five years ago knows I was submissive long before I was a dominant. Great mistresses/masters were likely great submissives. How else will the one in charge know what the slave wants? It takes one to know one. Great leaders were likely great followers. It’s how they learned to speak to others and convince them to come along. Great hypnotists were likely great listeners. Great doctors were likely great patients. Now I want to be a doctor because I know what it’s like to need treatment. I know how I want to reach people. I felt that one of the doctors was quite rude to me because he wouldn’t listen to me. I want to be one of those doctors who makes a lifelong positive impact on people’s lives and takes the time to listen and connect with patients. Most doctors, in my opinion, are good people. However, if more of them took communication classes - patients would likely experience healing at a more accelerated rate.

I could write forever. When my fingers design the words that sculpt a brand new journal entry, I get lost in translation. Interpretation is where I tiptoe though, because everyone has different opinions. I only write because I want to connect. It’s hard to find brutally honest people who lay everything out there. It’s a vulnerable journey. If I weren’t vulnerable, I doubt I’d be this successful. If I weren’t honest, my customers would probably see me as “just another erotic hypnotist” or “just another domme on the internet.” There are days all I want to do is put my real name out there instead of hiding behind the fictious name, “Isabella Valentine.” Friends and family say using a stage name is the smart, safe, and cautious thing to do. Others say it’ll benefit future paths to remain cloaked, since I’m technically in the adult field. But I gotta admit, it sucks sometimes to have a real name and a fake name. Thankfully, the two personas overlap nicely and what I believe, Isabella believes. Is it just a name? When I created the character of Isabella Valentine, I gave her a fake birthday and a fake city to live in and fake interests, because I wanted people to like her. However people liked me more when I was honest. And my income more than quadrupled just by showing vulnerability. For years, I’ve poured honesty onto the pages and many people lurk my blog without commenting. Sometimes people have nothing to say. Sometimes they have everything to say but don’t know how to say it. Who is my audience? Anyone who wants to know me.

I’m past the point of trying to impress people. The life I live is the one I’ve designed myself. And everyone has the ability to do the same thing. That’s the difference between someone confident and someone snobby. A confident person thinks, “I’m great and so is everyone else.” And a snob thinks, “I’m great and no one else is.” I can tell you right now that all I want to do is empower people. It turns me on (even sexually) to watch people become their best selves. In the last year, I’ve humbly learned that I cannot change people. Sure everyone knows this age-old secret, but it doesn’t mean I believed it. I can reframe opinions, sure. But a person only changes if they want to change. And THAT is why I’ve learned to find humor in replies from insecure people who send, what I call “target letters,” designed to get a rise out of me. The only rise I might get is a hard clitty.

This does beg the question, are our emotions solid? I can’t help but doubt it. If I had a penny for each time I’ve changed my mind, evolved, or changed my perspective, I think I’d be a trillionaire by now. Answers I gave a month, a year, or five years ago will certainly appear differently now. I certainly hope so, too! If we aren’t willing to improve by changing our minds, how can we be role models for our voyeurs? It takes a strong person to be willing to change course on a different life path. More power to them! If they happen to hallucinate along the way cause they’re having a beautiful spiritual experience, then by all means introduce me to them!

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

Hospital Time

Published on July 28, 2008 in Journal posts. 5 Comments

I’m not sure how to begin this journal entry because so much has happened this week, but you all know me for being honest, so here goes. And for God’s sake if my honesty is too intense for anyone, then take it up by praying for me.

For the last eight days, I’ve been hospitalized. Whether or not I was admitted voluntarily is up to debate, however slave m called 911 because I was behaving irrationally and unlike myself. I’m still not entirely sure what peaked my manic episode because nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I’m still not entirely sure what caused it.

What happened: I began hallucinating and seeing things. I heard voices not really there, saw objects that I magically produced from my own head. I stayed awake for over 3 nights without sleep and was convinced that I had become “God/source” and therefore didn’t need sleep. At one point I ran outside the house naked to convince friends of mine to come back inside. My mania got the most dangerous when I was convinced I could magically pave a road (that was under construction) and tried to convince someone to drive over it with me. Doctors and nurses described me as “goofy and euphoric” and it was clear that I couldn’t tell the difference between illusion and reality.

What caused it: It seems we all disagree on this. My psychiatrist in California thinks I had an allergic reaction to the pneumonia antibiotics and thinks my experience on the mountaintop in New Mexico must have triggered this. My mom thinks my high fever was directly responsible for frying my brain. The doctor assigned to me here in Indiana thinks I was on psychedelic drugs (if I was, I’d have no problem ‘fessing up - but I wasn’t). Slave m thinks it was due to my lack of sleep. And I, personally, think it’s because I reached an unheard of level of enlightenment mostly only reached by monks in Tibet. My faith, confidence, charisma, and insight shot off the charts for me. This started the night I began writing my “Masterpiece” hypnosis recording where I wanted to write the “most perfect recording” designed for myself, not for customers. In it, I was looking into a mirror and into a million universal mirrors. Needless to say, I didn’t get done with the recording because I kept ripping pages out and rewording it. The more I thought about what I wanted to write, the “crazier” I began to appear to people. In turn, the doctor diagnosed me as “bipolar manic” which I disagree with simply because I feel (unless I am mistaken) I have no previous history of such symptoms. Sure I’m a bit psycho - who isn’t? But I absolutely refuse to take meds for the rest of my life. My mom swears it was the fever and she thinks she knows me best. Regardless of what caused it, I definitely DID go crazy and had one bad manic episode where I created a Magic Kingdom for myself where I was God. Love became Me. My words were source flowing fluidly out of Me.

The experience: After the ambulance drove me to the hospital, the nurses helped me with everything - you name it - even urinating and getting dressed. Normally it would be embarrassing, but it was anything but. It was orgasmic and euphoric. One particular thought at the time, “Hey I’ve got people to help me with this sort of thing so what’s the point of doing it myself?” Being wheeled around on a stretcher felt like a roller coaster ride and many times I was hearing people’s voices within the fourth dimension. It was a borderline schizophrenic moment. Fantasy and reality began to mix into one another. The ceiling grew vines in front of my eyes in which I tried to grab. The nurse drew blood from my arm in which case I responded, “Take all the love you want out of my arm. I have more than enough for the whole world.” I’m telling you… I thought I was God. I still do, actually. I think we’re all God. But that’s a different journal entry. I was taken to the Crisis section and was videotaped and monitored for several days and took therapy and antipsychotic drugs to help me get back down to reality.

I’m still on meds now - and finally back home. It’s natural for me to wonder if I should continue writing the script to that Masterpiece recording that catapulted my craziness. Creating the perfect hypnosis recording (which would be given away freely without charge), would certainly connect thousands of people to Source… it also could quite possibly bring others to a psychotic place, in which case, there will be lots of disclaimers and fair warning for those who miss this entry.

According to conservative society, I went a little crazy. One part of me is thankful it’s over. The other part of me wants it to come back. Please understand that listening to any future recordings of mine may result in a skewed, yet more beautiful perspective of the world. Listen at your own risk. The world I see now is quite different than the world I saw a week ago.

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx

Speaking of medicine…

Published on July 18, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

Shortly after I wrote the last journal entry about my love of wanting to be a doctor, I got horribly sick for about 3 days. How ironic is that.

Now I have pneumonia (and feeling surprisingly better, to be able to write this today). Yesterday my fever reached 103 and I had reached 3 days of having no energy, so I knew there was a serious problem. One thing that sucks about having a fever is the chills. It’s like a false temperature gauge. Sometimes it FEELS warmer than it is, so you want all your clothes off and you want to sweat it off and fight it. Other times it’s FREEZING and you wanna bundle yourself under the sheets and not move your head. In my case I couldn’t tell what end was up or what day was what. One minute it was light outside. One minute it was dark. The one thing I did know for sure was that I had an excruciating migraine alongside a horrible wheezing cough.

Feel brave? Starting now, pretend you’re me! Try to understand my point-of-view as a hypnotist and why this concept is driving me bats!

I have two animals living inside me. A panther and a squirrel. Perhaps you’ve met them both. The panther is a predator but not mean at all, just beautiful by design and commands attention from a room. Respected, yes. Resourceful, yes. The squirrel has a lot of fiestiness and craziness and unpredictability. The squirrel wears pigtails. The panther does hypnosis. Both need each other to coexist. I am not ME without both. Both are needed to balance me out. I’m a scorpio by default so I’m passionate about EVERYTHING. I analyze stuff to death. And to be honest, I think this is what makes my migraines even worse. I analyze things TOO much to tell you to truth. Sometimes I rip concepts and ideas apart until I pick apart the nitty-gritty of it to see the bare essentials. I believe that, on many levels, I have the power to “not get sick.” After all, I often hypnotize people to remove sicknesses and dis-eases from their bodies. I understand that all a so-called dis-ease IS - is a disharmonious vibration in the body. So as a hypnotist, I’m thinking of every creative way possible to get RID OF THIS BEAST that is pounding my head with a sledgehammer. I tried listening to someone else’s healing hypnosis session (someone I trust implicitely). The pounding subsided while I listened to the session but returned when it was over. I went into the Lea~Koa room and listened to slave m play the crown chakra crystal bowls hoping it would smooth the vibrations but the pain stayed. Meditation worked for the pain short-term but not long-term - at least not for me. But theoretically, it should have. Maybe I haven’t learned the art of trust and surrender. Or maybe I have but I’m afraid of the pain involved if betrayed. The body can betray just like people can. I’ve analyzed betrayal to death and I have nothing to fear right now. Everything is in its rightness in the universe. The squirrel and panther are at peace. So why the sickness? I make love to the mirror. I love myself and love others. I even love those who have hurt me and even love random strangers who call me names intended to inflict pain. So why am I sick? Isn’t sickness intended for those who need to learn a lesson of some sort? Or hmm… maybe my lesson was to learn about laughter. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This is where maybe “those” people were right when they said laughter is the best medicine.

I regularly record “So you think you can dance” on my television so I can be kept up to date with the dancers from week to week. It’s a beautiful personal connection and everything to me about the show is magnificent. I personally enjoy Katee, Chelsea, Mark, and Joshua (not in that order) and it’s based on their facial expressions and their “feel of the music” not necessarily their technique. Their bodily expressions give me inspiration on a transcendental level that defy explanation. Well anyway, while I was sick, I forced myself to get out of bed and watch something entertaining. If your head has ever felt smashed by a Mack truck, then you already know how hard it is to get up from that stuck state to actually do something. Right before the show started, I took my temperature. It said 101.9 F. It had been steadily that for several hours. Then I began watching the show. I smiled. I laughed. Total awesomeness and happiness and grrrr. I felt wonderful!!! My fever broke. *begin sweat here and grab paper towels for the couch* Take a two hour show minus the fast-forwarding of commercials and that’s maybe about an hour and a half. Took my temperature again. Swear to God. 98.6 degrees. Just by watching a tv show I loved, my temperature broke. In fact, the whole time I watched the show, my head didn’t hurt at all. But get this. As soon as the show ended, my head started to hurt again and 30 minutes later my temperature sored back up to 101.9.

THIS is where as a hypnotist, I started analyzing the psychological aspects of this. And analyzing things is the LAST thing a person should be doing when they have a migraine. Fortunately, I had Looney Tunes and tea. Just love that little Pussyfoot.

*sigh* Cartoons.

What’s crazy about all this is that pneumonia almost killed me when I was 14 years old. It landed me in the hospital for nearly a week and my lungs took forever to recover.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox

P.S. When the doctor ran his hands down my back and asked, “Do you feel tender here?”
I actually said, “Oooh that feels good…”
He said to me… “I’ll have to charge you extra for that.”

Isabella’s dream

Published on July 15, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

So there’s this thing.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a doctor. A neurosurgeon actually. During the course of my life, I walked along other paths which became more appealing to me. I successfully explored journalism, hospital janitorial work, graphic and web design, phone sex, and for the last five and a half years… domination and hypnotism. In high school, I worked as a cashier at a grocery store in the poor section of town while simultaneously working side jobs folding clothes at a laundry mat and cleaning apartments after residents moved out. It didn’t matter what job I had, I loved it. I’d invest my mind, heart, and soul into it and delve head-first into it and make it my passion. It’s easy to recognize the integrity of any type of work because essentially, all it is - is helping others. One of my favorite jobs was being a housekeeper/janitor for a rehabilitation center in Plymouth, Massachussetts where I was responsible for cleaning the residential wing of the geriatric section. The best part about it was getting to connect with the elderly patients and talk to them on a personal level, visit with them while cleaning their televisions and mopping their floors. The worst part, I suppose if there were such a thing, was cleaning up vomit and feces when they’d miss the toilet. The beauty of it is that I never gave a bad face or made people feel bad when they made “gross” in their bathrooms. I loved making them feel at ease. I loved reassuring the residents and loved even more telling them how important they were. I miss helping people on a “healing” level and for as long as I can remember, I’ve volunteered at hospitals. I’ve been around hospitals my whole life (my brother is handicapped and has required hospital care 24/7 for over 25 years), so I’ve never been squeemish around blood or bones. Science and anatomy are some of my favorite subjects, especially when combined with psychology and topics dealing with the mind. I feel more comfortable inside of a hospital building than I do in my own home sometimes. And because I’ve been around many life and death situations, I feel I could handle being under intense amounts of pressure in any given situation where I have to make sudden choices. And although these two things may not compare, I worked at a daily newspaper where we had deadlines practically every hour on the hour and the stress was insane. If I can handle the stress of corporate America and having ten bosses telling me that we need digital to film RC STAT, I think I might have the potential to handle the stress of running into an ER room at three in the morning to sew stitches in a child’s lip when a cat scratches it.

I do hope I have a point somewhere in this conversation. Where is it. Oh yeah.

So there’s this thing, like I said. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a doctor. I still want that. I don’t necessarily want to be a brain surgeon anymore but I’ve been seriously contemplating going to medical school to be a doctor of some sort. I’d like to be able to perform surgeries. Not just that, but I’d like to combine the hypnosis skills I’ve learned ALONG WITH medical practice to increase the effectiveness of healing others. It saddens me that some doctors frown upon hypnosis as a “new age thing” while some hypnotists frown upon doctors as being “all about medicine.” The truth is, sometimes medicine + hypnosis is far more effective than just one or the other when it comes to healing aches and pains. Hypnosis is a great tool for people who want to self-heal using the power of their own minds. Medicine is a great tool for people who rely on prescriptions to heal their bodies. But the two together are far more effective.

I thought my life plan would involve me being a psychologist or psychiatrist but the doors seem to be closing all around me. All the signs are pointing to no. The universe is clearly telling me that my direction is somewhere else. I didn’t mention this in my journal because I figured I’d just reapply, but Indiana University denied my application (and please don’t ask me why cause they didn’t give me a reason which just adds to my own confusion). Although I was slightly disappointed for not getting in, I’m actually a little relieved. You see, I’m getting the feeling Indiana isn’t going to be my permanent residence. Living in Bloomington, Indiana has been a blessing because it provides me with a “transition place” while I find the right direction for my life. One thing I know for sure is that this is not a permanent residence for me, nor did I ever expect it to be. Did you know that in ALL 50 states in the entire United States, this is the ONLY state where I cannot practice hypnosis in my own office without a license - and they won’t license me because of all the red tape? Yup. I’m telling you, there are so many signs telling me that my direction is somewhere else: I am going to follow the signs.

Which leads me to my point.

I am going to be moving in approximately 8-12 months and will sell my house. I’ve already spoken with my loan officer and discussed this with my realtor. My heart will always be in California (San Francisco area, specifically), however, my heart also belongs with slave m. He and I have been living together off and on for about a year and a half and one of the elements of our relationship we want to strengthen is our family ties. I want to spend my life with him (and with many people - I like multiple partners). His family is in Virginia. My family is in California. Perhaps we may be able to work it out so that I own two homes (it may require downsizing so that I can afford it) across the country. It would be awesome if I could attend college in Virginia Beach, Virginia and have a house there - as well as my own hypnosis office so that clients could come in for real time sessions. And it would be equally awesome to have a second home in San Francisco (or maybe just a room for rent or something) and an office so that I can do real time hypnosis sessions in an open-minded gender-friendly city where I can focus on transgender hypnosis and feminization and all those beautiful topics that interest me. Doing real-time sessions (as well as public seminars on “how to do erotic hypnosis” throughout the country) would certainly pay the rent for both places as well as my college tuition. THAT, my friends, will help me get through medical school so I can be a doctor.

And when I’m a doctor, I’d like to do soooo many things. OMG. That’s another journal entry. But for one thing, I’d like to go to underprivileged communities throughout the world and give my time to those in need. There are so many people who need doctors right now. Combine that with hypnosis and wow. Maybe world peace could happen!

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Pimped Out

Published on July 12, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Pimped Out

Have you ever had fantasies about being pimped out to handsome men and passed around like a horny slut? If you have, then you’ll love the kinkiness of this recording!

Surrender to the beautiful feeling of giving up control to a beautiful, large cock in your mouth (and in your ass)! The male body looks so much sexier when it’s ravaged by cocks, so enjoy the experience of being plucked and fucked by strangers through the power of hypnosis!

If you’ve listened to the recording “Jackpot,” then you’ll appreciate the orgasm command at the end of this session because you’ll be able to cum without touching yourself!

This mp3 has whisper tracks, subliminal elements, dual-ear binaural sounds, and calming sound effects to increase your ability to slip easily into trance. Wear stereo headphones if you’d like the full “dramatic climactic” experience!

Fetishes include:
Erotic hypnosis, drooling, mind manipulation, male homosexuality, cocksucking, ass fucking (receiving only), bukkake, swallowing male cum, bottom bitch, being called a faggot, homosexual encouragement, multiple male partners, post-hypnotic suggestions to have sex with men, erotic triggers, and orgasm command.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: Yes
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: No
Overdubbing Vocals: Yes
Length: 29 minutes, 20 seconds
Zip File Size: Approx. 27 MB
Price: $35.00

Buy Now

New Video: Isabella in New Mexico

Published on July 11, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

So here’s a new video blog from my travels to New Mexico which hopefully you’ll find at least mildly entertaining. The video starts off with me sitting at home (in Indiana) playing a crystal “singing” bowl which helps vibrate the chakras - this one specifically the crown chakra. Throughout the blog entry, you’ll hear the vibrations and the chimes as well, which I thought would be a nice touch since I love showing the music connection as well.

In the meantime, I’m working on a new erotic hypnosis recording which is in post-production right now. Here’s a hint. It’s called “Pimped Out.” It’s naughty, ya’ll.

Isabella Valentine in New Mexico
Watch Free Video Here: “Isabella in New Mexico”

Love
Isabella
xoxooxox

Isabella and John Holmes - Artwork

Published on July 11, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

My friend, K@t, is such a cool artist. I think that’s also the understatement of the year. She draws and airbrushes the most amazing artwork in the world and it continually blows me away! I am absolutely impressed with this particular piece that she created of me with John Holmes the Porn Cat! What I love the most are all the candles in the background, the attention to details within the smoke and the corset… the blanket… and I love how the moon has a halo around it! I LOVE the bedpost! My bedpost actually looks like that! Aren’t my breasts hot in this photo?! Hehehe now if only I actually looked like the cartoon version of me LOL. Funny thing is… I actually DO hypnotize my cat a lot so this photo is pretty semi-realistic which tickles me to death. Johnny cat is always purring when I give him creative visualizations and other meditative relaxation inductions. Thank, you, K@t, for spending such a great deal of time on this beautiful art! I love the beads hanging down from the top of the ceiling! You really made me look sexy in this!

If any of you want to see the amazing detail work in this photo (or a close up of the hot cleavage), feel free to click on the photo to ZOOM IN and see a larger version!

Have I mentioned that by seeing this art, I totally feel like the luckiest Goddess in the whole world? I don’t know what I did or how I did it, but I’ve somehow convinced K@t that I’m worthy of art… and it makes me feel really fucking good! And if you all could see me now, my face is totally red and I’m giggling like a little girl.

“Hey, look, Johnny, there you are!!!” (By the way, he just meowed.)

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

Sandia Peak in New Mexico

Published on July 11, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

If any of you ever get a chance to go to Albuquerque, Mexico, I highly recommend you check out Sandia Peak. It has a two-mile long Tram Way which is really cool cause you get to overlook rocky mountains, boulders, cliffs, valleys, and beautiful views of the city from every direction. It’s breathtakingly gorgeous! At the top of the mountain is a diner called High Finance Restaurant, which (to be COMPLETELY honest - you all should know by now to expect nothing less) isn’t exactly one I’d recommend for their food. The view was spectacular, don’t get me wrong. But the food was pretty yucky. There were only two vegetarian options on the entree and one of them was drenched with vinegar (and not the delicious kind). We actually had to send back our food cause it was inedible. I think that was the first time I returned my food in at least a couple years just from it being too bad to eat. Usually I’ll deal with something undercooked or overcooked and not complain. Generally I’m not a complainer because no one likes someone who gripes all the time. So if I ever get food and it tastes bad, it takes a LOT for me to send it back. But THIS was just atrocious. One bite and I swear… it was like eating Pine Sol. I had to sent it back. Funny thing is… when I told the server about it, he actually laughed cause he said EVERYONE says the same thing. (Which, if you’re curious, was the “Portabello Stack.”) So this brings me to a brain fart. If everyone returns the same entree to the kitchen to be thrown away and no one likes it, WHY is it on the menu? It seems, at least to me, it’s not only bad business and seems like a huge waste of money, but also seems like it would lessen the chance for repeat customers who are disappointed with the food. *sigh*

One thing I *did* like about the restaurant, however, was the view. It was unmistakably breathtaking. The walls were made completely of glass and overlooked the whole city of Albuquerque. We, literally, were on top of the world! Hot! Here’s some photos from the Tram Way experience at Sandia Peak!

Here I am sitting at the table next to the extraordinary view.