Shortly after I wrote the last journal entry about my love of wanting to be a doctor, I got horribly sick for about 3 days. How ironic is that.
Now I have pneumonia (and feeling surprisingly better, to be able to write this today). Yesterday my fever reached 103 and I had reached 3 days of having no energy, so I knew there was a serious problem. One thing that sucks about having a fever is the chills. It’s like a false temperature gauge. Sometimes it FEELS warmer than it is, so you want all your clothes off and you want to sweat it off and fight it. Other times it’s FREEZING and you wanna bundle yourself under the sheets and not move your head. In my case I couldn’t tell what end was up or what day was what. One minute it was light outside. One minute it was dark. The one thing I did know for sure was that I had an excruciating migraine alongside a horrible wheezing cough.
Feel brave? Starting now, pretend you’re me! Try to understand my point-of-view as a hypnotist and why this concept is driving me bats!
I have two animals living inside me. A panther and a squirrel. Perhaps you’ve met them both. The panther is a predator but not mean at all, just beautiful by design and commands attention from a room. Respected, yes. Resourceful, yes. The squirrel has a lot of fiestiness and craziness and unpredictability. The squirrel wears pigtails. The panther does hypnosis. Both need each other to coexist. I am not ME without both. Both are needed to balance me out. I’m a scorpio by default so I’m passionate about EVERYTHING. I analyze stuff to death. And to be honest, I think this is what makes my migraines even worse. I analyze things TOO much to tell you to truth. Sometimes I rip concepts and ideas apart until I pick apart the nitty-gritty of it to see the bare essentials. I believe that, on many levels, I have the power to “not get sick.” After all, I often hypnotize people to remove sicknesses and dis-eases from their bodies. I understand that all a so-called dis-ease IS - is a disharmonious vibration in the body. So as a hypnotist, I’m thinking of every creative way possible to get RID OF THIS BEAST that is pounding my head with a sledgehammer. I tried listening to someone else’s healing hypnosis session (someone I trust implicitely). The pounding subsided while I listened to the session but returned when it was over. I went into the Lea~Koa room and listened to slave m play the crown chakra crystal bowls hoping it would smooth the vibrations but the pain stayed. Meditation worked for the pain short-term but not long-term - at least not for me. But theoretically, it should have. Maybe I haven’t learned the art of trust and surrender. Or maybe I have but I’m afraid of the pain involved if betrayed. The body can betray just like people can. I’ve analyzed betrayal to death and I have nothing to fear right now. Everything is in its rightness in the universe. The squirrel and panther are at peace. So why the sickness? I make love to the mirror. I love myself and love others. I even love those who have hurt me and even love random strangers who call me names intended to inflict pain. So why am I sick? Isn’t sickness intended for those who need to learn a lesson of some sort? Or hmm… maybe my lesson was to learn about laughter. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
This is where maybe “those” people were right when they said laughter is the best medicine.
I regularly record “So you think you can dance” on my television so I can be kept up to date with the dancers from week to week. It’s a beautiful personal connection and everything to me about the show is magnificent. I personally enjoy Katee, Chelsea, Mark, and Joshua (not in that order) and it’s based on their facial expressions and their “feel of the music” not necessarily their technique. Their bodily expressions give me inspiration on a transcendental level that defy explanation. Well anyway, while I was sick, I forced myself to get out of bed and watch something entertaining. If your head has ever felt smashed by a Mack truck, then you already know how hard it is to get up from that stuck state to actually do something. Right before the show started, I took my temperature. It said 101.9 F. It had been steadily that for several hours. Then I began watching the show. I smiled. I laughed. Total awesomeness and happiness and grrrr. I felt wonderful!!! My fever broke. *begin sweat here and grab paper towels for the couch* Take a two hour show minus the fast-forwarding of commercials and that’s maybe about an hour and a half. Took my temperature again. Swear to God. 98.6 degrees. Just by watching a tv show I loved, my temperature broke. In fact, the whole time I watched the show, my head didn’t hurt at all. But get this. As soon as the show ended, my head started to hurt again and 30 minutes later my temperature sored back up to 101.9.
THIS is where as a hypnotist, I started analyzing the psychological aspects of this. And analyzing things is the LAST thing a person should be doing when they have a migraine. Fortunately, I had Looney Tunes and tea. Just love that little Pussyfoot.
*sigh* Cartoons.
What’s crazy about all this is that pneumonia almost killed me when I was 14 years old. It landed me in the hospital for nearly a week and my lungs took forever to recover.
Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox
P.S. When the doctor ran his hands down my back and asked, “Do you feel tender here?”
I actually said, “Oooh that feels good…”
He said to me… “I’ll have to charge you extra for that.”
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