This morning I have been converted to a down-the-middle bisexual. I’m not sure why I never embraced the word “bisexual” before. A part of me felt it was sitting on a fence and being indecisive. Holy shit. There’s so many fences I’d like to sit on because I can jump over it whenever I want! Since 2003 I’ve embraced lesbianism and, although I had some romantic interludes with men, being with women was the easier way I could really let loose and feel true arousal.

I’ve asked slave m permission to talk about what I’m about to say, and we both would like to extend a peek into our lives for the purpose of hoping it connects to people on a very deep level. All we ask for is understanding. He and I have been living together off and on for almost two years but up until now we’ve had a nonexistent sex life. If I wanted to arouse him, I would hypnotize him or dominate him with whips and chains. He loved it. But the physical sex simply wasn’t there. Sometimes it would be hard for ME to get aroused by him, like if he would try to lick my pussy, because I would get aggravated because it didn’t feel right and I didn’t know how to take my time and teach him to do the things I like. By the way, teaching someone how to lick pussy while getting aroused is much harder than it appears! It was frustrating so I just gave up. Many times he’d walk away sad or disappointed because he felt he wasn’t pleasing me to the best of his abilities. It took me a while to embrace the idea that it was my RESPONSIBILITY to teach him and if I choose not to, then that’s my fault. Last night he licked my pussy on the kitchen floor after I hypnotized him which led to me cumming three floor-mopping times. He walked away feeling proud, a new man. Glowing with confidence. Then of course I gave him incentive to do it again in the future by reminding him that my world record is cumming 100 times within 2 hours. Now he has something to shoot for. Gotta have goals! While he went down on me, I did my very best to direct him. I guided him through the process of licking me the way I wanted to be licked. I explained how I like my clit sucked super hard but not too hard and when to lick softly and when to add more pressure. His eagerness to please me is so impressive that I want to reward him every minute. I remind him every day how happy I am that we’re together. I get goose bumps just remembering that he made me orgasm with his mouth for the first time - ever! Now I can’t wait to have his buried between my legs again. Hotness!!!

What I’m about to say might sound “crazy” to some and may land me in the hospital again, but I’ll say it anyway. I channeled Source/God into my hand while slave m slept (two nights ago) and allowed healing to flow from my hand into m’s cock. Many men, including slave m, struggle with erectile dysfunction and sometimes even impotence. He didn’t always used to have the problem. He used to brag about how good he was in bed, which is one of the things that appealed to me before we met. However right before he moved in, his testosterone levels began to decrease at a dangerously rapid pace which was causing a hormonal imbalance. For him it was embarrassing and he didn’t want to tell people about it. He started growing breasts (which he covers by wearing thick shirts), his voice became more soft and girly, his handwriting was super swirly and feminine, and many of his mannerisms were classic girl-like. For me, I felt a good way to ease his comfort would be to help him embrace feminization so he would embrace his fears of being humiliated for this problem. Sometimes I’d make fun of him just to prove to him how sexy it could be to be treated like a girl. He would get hard as a rock when I would dress him in panties or humiliate him. But most of the time I’d be sad when I’d want to be fucked and he’d have difficulty maintaining an erection. Viagara didn’t work. It was psychological and we both knew this. The night before I got admitted into the hospital, when I was “God,” I got the grand idea to balance our homonal levels. With my hand on his pituitary gland and then on his abdomen, I transferred my extra levels of testosterone into his body and transferred his extra estrogen into mine. Until that point, I always felt more masculine than feminine. He always felt more feminine than masculine. With the help of magic, we became balanced. We both felt the transfer and it had real energy behind it. He woke up out of his sleep and said, “I felt that!”

Last night (or was it the night before), I channeled God through my hand and concentrated on increasing his blood flow to his penis so that he could maintain erections for a longer period of time. His cock instantly got hard and STAYED hard and I wasn’t even arousing it. I only had one finger touching him and it wasn’t even moving. His cock must have stayed erect for at least an hour while he slept. (Which by the way, I seem to channel God the most when I’m sleeping so all this happened while we were in bed.) I told him that within 7 days his body would function normally again. I hypnotized him while he slept and watched his eyes twitch under his eyelids, which let me know his subconscious mind was listening.

This morning I wanted to test his cock out and make him my guinea pig. After I woke up from a beautiful dream and rolled over, there he was… sleeping like a baby. Out of curiousity, my eyes wandered down to his boxer shorts and there was his cock, hard as a rock. It was the first time I’d ever seen him sleeping with a boner. And it even appeared to have GROWN! My first instinct was, “Feel it. Touch it. Take it.” I just had to see how it would work!

I started sucking on his cock, which I had never done while he was waking up (in fact, yesterday was the first time I’d ever given him a blowjob before which blew his mind). His whole body responded to my mouth which made my pussy wet. I didn’t even care whether or not he was sleeping or awake. I just wanted to feel him hard in my mouth since an erection was a new experience for both of us. While sucking it, it started to get even bigger! It shocked the hell out of me. I thought it was as hard and as big as it was going to get! Then all of a sudden he woke up and realized what I was doing and he looked like a kid at Christmas when he realizes all the presents are for him. His deer-in-headlight eyes widened almost as much as his mouth did. I love seeing him shocked with happiness! We kissed, we touched. Then I told him I wanted to ride his big black cock, and boy did I mean it. In the past, this had been unsuccessful. His cock would eagerly get hard but then after a minute it would lay down and go to sleep even if psychologically he wanted it hard. This prevented me, before, from increasing my desire to have sex with him. He desperately wanted to give me an orgasm with his cock but the more we tried, the harder it became.

The night before I was hospitalized, I channeled Jesus into my body and decided to be a martyr for sex the way he was a martyr for violence. Slave m was having sex with me but his cock was limp and falling out and the whole time, I was screaming, “Yes! Fuck me!” And I was screaming so loud it could have awakened the whole neighborhood. For nearly thirty minutes, I magically “felt” his cock even though it wasn’t technically inside me. Slave m said I exhibited animal-like behavior. After that, I really can’t recall too much.

While I was hospitalized for “hallucinating I was God,” our bodies learned to heal. I even learned the art of forgiveness. It was a beautiful experience to finally TRULY forgive my mom, who I felt violently abused me physically and emotionally when I was a child. Now I love her so much that I’ll do anything for her. There are an infinite amount of methods a person can use to raise their children which avoid violence, however my mom was only aware of one way. I realized she did the best she could and she was only obeying what she thought was right. As far as slave m, he learned the art of removing guilt and sadness, which increased his inner confidence. For years, he’d feel guilty for everything, even if it wasn’t his fault. And I had deep-seeded vengeance in my heart because of my mom which is one reason why I secretly loved beating people. It was my therapeutic way of releasing my anger without actually allowing myself to be angry. That is healed now. For both of us. And I wanted to reward both of us by having sensational sex!

I crawled on top of him and before I put his cock in my pussy, I said things to him which let him know I love him. I told him I’d do anything for him, that I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him now. That I didn’t know love before. That I see it now. The look on his face was the warmest, most beautiful look I think I’d ever seen from him. We made love. It started off slow and gentle and then built up with such momentum he rolled me over and fucked me doggy style really hard. I came. I orgasmed. I screamed. His cock pounded my uterus. Most of the time I couldn’t even force my eyes open because there was no choice but to surrender to the pain of the pleasure of the pounding! It was impossible to “fake it” because there was wetness all over the sheets and every time he rammed me, his cock would break me open a little bit more. So THAT’S what an orgasm feels like with a cock inside me! Ok, here’s my just-in press release. Penises are now officially hot! It was the first time we both actually, truly, had sex from foreplay to orgasm without interruption. It was orgasmic! It defied my wildest dream! Insert a thousand superlatives here! I loved screaming and telling him how big his cock was in my pussy. If penises are meant to hurt, then I’m a masochist. I could tell he loved hearing me scream, because the harder I screamed, the deeper he’d thrust. And it turned me on even more watching him grow more confident. Hearing him grunt, listening to the slapping of skin. Hot. I’m so grateful I learned how to trust people. The reward was orgasm.

Most memorably, was being able to listen to how fast his heart was beating, feel his sweaty black body against mine, and hear him out of breath when we finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion. We snuggled, we kissed. We got the “real” experience. He’s the only cock I’ve had inside me for 2 years so I was tighter than a virgin. *DEW!!!!* Just talking about this makes me so happy! I had sex! I had sex! I had sex! I wanna scream it from a rooftop! I wanna have it again!

Today I’m proud to say our sex life has turned extraordinary. I can’t wait to fuck him again when he reads this journal entry and realizes I’m gonna relinquish his cock with another treat. By the way, I’ve been off meds for two days now. All the stuff I’ve been feeling is genuine and real, without prescriptions added. Source must have desired this too because it felt as though God was masturbating while watching us fuck each other’s brains out like virgin teenagers! *SEXY Grrrrrrooowllllll* Let’s all fuck for God! She can enjoy porn too!

By the way, my friend Kay emailed me a humble suggestion (THANK YOU!) to handwrite slave m a letter and tell him how much he means to me. After he read my letter, he almost cried and said he’d never read anything so beautiful before and he put it in a safe place to keep it. We ended up necking and making out on the staircase for about an hour just telling each other beautiful things. It was a fantastic suggestion!

I would love to hear what other people have done to spice up their sex lives and what helped bring new life into the romantic aspect of it. Sometimes just a compliment is all it takes. Please, if you read this, will you share one of your favorite things to do to make someone feel good? I can’t wait to implement your ideas!

Love
Isabella
xooxoxo