Tag Archive for 'diet'

Diet and weight progress

My weight has been a topic of frustration for me since the day I became vegan and discontinued the Jenny Craig program. My intention was to be strictly vegan because, frankly, the idea of eating any animal products sickens me after I became educated with what happens during the pre-packaging process. For years, I had been in my own ignorant bliss and actually liked not knowing what happened to the animals. In my head, as long as I wasn’t educated about it, I wasn’t actually doing anything wrong by eating meat and dairy products. That was my story and I stuck to it. Well… until around December. That’s when I became vegan. Up until that point, I had lost a ridiculous amount of weight (100 pounds) with the help of hypnosis, Jenny Craig, and proper exercise. The problem for me then became… how can I lose the weight without Jenny Craig (who mostly offers meat in their lunches and dinners)? Sure, hypnosis can take people pretty damn far. I’m living proof. But Everyone knows you need the MIND + THE RIGHT FOOD + EXERCISE. I already have the mind + exercise down. It’s the “right food” that’s killing me.

I haven’t lost any pounds since September. In fact, I had plateaued for almost 6 months. Then in this month (April), I actually gained 15 pounds (and no, it wasn’t muscle). Can you believe it? I gained. And this was all while I was consciously watching my eating portions, went for semi-daily walks, and had lots of mind motivation. So instead of losing 100 pounds… it’s as if I’ve only lost 85 pounds.

This frustrated me, and lit a fire under my ass quicker than you can say, “cheese.”

After much self-conflict, I decided to try Nutri-System because they have a vegetarian program that I can follow. Becoming vegetarian, essentially, would mean eating dairy products again. A huge part of me does NOT want to do this (for my love of animals). But the other part of me is begging to do this (because I love myself). My love for myself won. Today, my Nutri-System food came in… enough for a full month. Today is my first day on the program. Officially I’m a vegetarian, not a vegan. Mark my words: once I get to my goal weight and am able to maintain it, I have every intention of becoming vegan again. I enjoyed that eating lifestyle very much and felt sooo good doing it.

So now that I’m on NS, I am confident that this will be the much-needed push to get me over the roller-coaster hump and push me downhill. I have about 115 pounds to lose. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted over time for those that have been following my weight reduction over the past year and a half. I can just *FEEL* that this program is going to catapult me right where I should be. This is the exact same feeling I got when I walked into Jenny Craig for the first time and just *knew* they could help. And they did. They helped save my life.

In the meantime, here is a photo of my back. Someone requested I show a zoomed in shot of my tattoos so they could see more detail work. Here you go!

Isabella Valentine Naked Back

P.S. I’m considering getting a scorpion (or other scorpio symbol) tattooed underneath Marilyn.

Day 10

This is successful Day #10 of Vegan eating lifestyle. I doubt anyone reading my journal is counting the days, but I am. According to the writers of “Skinny Bitch” - if I can get through the first 28 days of this without going out of my mind, then I can do this easily for the rest of my life. So I’m giving it my best shot, which I WANT to do and WILL DO.

The only thing that SUCKS ASS about this new way of eating is that I’ve now gained 7 pounds (in just 10 days!!!!). NOT COOL. My total body fat percentage went up 2%. (Up two WHOLE percentage points in just 10 days!) My water weight is the same. I’m frustrated that I’ve no longer lost 100 pounds, and I’m back in the 90s. I called Jenny Craig today to schedule a consultation so they can help me figure out the proper amount of starches, fats, “meats” (substitutes), etc. so that I can create my OWN menu and still continue losing the weight.

I never really took it into consideration that I had been on JC for so long, that I took for granted how wonderful the perfectly-portioned plans had become. Now that I’m making my own portions, I have a feeling I’m not eating the right amounts of this healthy food (even though it appears right to me). I’m not afraid to ask for help when it comes to this. I’m humble enough to admit that I need guidance when it comes to the weight thing. It is helpful that I’m a hypnotist and have controlled the way I eat and exercise for over a year, however now that my eating lifestyle has dramatically changed (literally, overnight) I can use all the assistance I can get to push me back on track.

Holidays
Slave maurice is coming to stay with me from Dec. 21st until Jan. 3rd. We’ll be spending Christmas and New Years holidays together, which will be nice. We’ll take a road trip to Times Square in NYC to watch the ball go down for New Years Eve. We’ll probably get a hotel and stay overnight and then drive back home. If any of you will be in NYC for New Years Eve/New Years Day, perhaps we can hook up or hang out and party or something. I watched the ball go down January 1998 which was the year I graduated high school as a senior. This year, 2008 is my ten year class reunion, so this is a very special time for me to revisit Times Square and watch the ball go down as I make my personal goals for the NEXT ten years. This is a very sentimental date for me (new years eve) and I can remember where I was *every year* for New Years. This year, I have to head back to NYC.

A potential live-in male slave (for now, I’ll refer to him simply as “slave” since I haven’t decided to accept him into my household yet. When or if I do, I’ll name him appropriately), may come to visit me sometime in December as well. So it looks like I may have two male slaves overlapping near the same time, which suits me just fine. The more slaves to worship me, the merrier. This slave has started a journal, which he really didn’t want to do, but I commanded him to so I could see how obedient he could be. The first few days, I was lenient and considered it a request. But Dec. 5th was when I made daily journal-writing a command. For every day he misses (starting Dec. 5), he accumulates ten cane strikes. So far he’s earned 20 strokes of the cane. Either he will really enjoy a lot of pain or else he’s just being disrespectful. You tell me. His journal is here: . Keep an eye out, will ya?

Niteflirt
I’m confused. I could be wrong, but I assume the MORE customers who vouch for a flirt’s work, the more new clients she’ll reel in to her. That being said, I spontaneously decided to read other flirts’ feedback on Niteflirt only to discover that some of them pride themselves on just having one or two “main customers” who write all their feedback. I’m confused how that could be a good thing for anyone. Wouldn’t it be MORE profitable to have hundreds or thousands of devotees or worshippers than just one or two? I’m so grateful that thousands of little fish have vouched for me, instead of depending on one or two whales. I really, truly am honored. Thank you all for your support and for your honest feedback about my work. In the past, I had one very loyal client who would generously write tons of feedback for me every week after our calls (as a sign of devotion), but it hurt my sales because he wrote so much feedback that other clients felt non-existent. It became obvious to other clients that I had a “favorite” and even worse, new clients had no credible way to vouch for me other than by hearing 70 versions of ONE PERSON’S opinion. Eventually, I politely asked him to stop leaving me feedback (even though he spent thousands of dollars a week on me) and my profits began to improve. If I’m doing this all wrong and need to bribe people to “pad” my feedback by hypnotizing them, by all means - tell me! Is it better to have one person really really LOVE a person and they talk about them all the time — or is it better to have a thousand people who claim to LOVE a person and they talk about them sometimes? I suppose both can be good in different situations.

Politics
If you don’t want to hear my opinion on politics, skip this part.

I’m torn between two candidates. I won’t say which ones, cause the point is irrelevant. The problem is I want to know which of the two candidates sees animal cruelty as a serious problem. I’ve found many references to human rights, but very little in relation to animal rights. There is little to no information on these candidates regarding this, which bothers me. It seems that the topic of animal rights is never even on the agenda of topics to speak about. That sucks, considering the Dept. of Agriculture oversees a food industry that profits billions of dollars a year. Hell yeah we should be talking about it. I hate that candidates have completely ignored this topic within their debates. It upsets me and I don’t like to be upset. How can people in leadership positions not care about the hardcore killing and torture of animals in OUR OWN COUNTRY?

We always hear about the horrible treatment of people and animals in China (don’t get me started), but we have yet to fix our own problems here. We claim to be the land of opportunity and yet we are our own villains. China horribly tortures Falun Gong practitioners inside “six ten” offices by doing unspeakable torturous acts to them covered up by “unexplained disappearances”. Yet we do it ourselves: look at Guantanamo Bay and it’s disgusting human rights violations. We don’t call them prisoners. We call them detainees so we can get away with torturing them for years without a trial (even if just religious rights abuses and degradation).

We point fingers at China for mistreating their foxes because they skin the animals (alive!) and hang them upside down while bludgeoning them to death (Watch this sick video)… and practically EVERYTHING we have is imported from China, so we support their methods of torture every time we buy something from them. Here in America, the government supports the idea that foxes can be in tiny cages where they literally go insane turning them stir-crazy, are fed other foxes (cannablism), spend sometimes 5 weeks without water, and then we electrocute them up their anus (sometimes more than once) until they die. And this video is somehow MORE humane? And our government SUPPORTS THIS! *blink*

I’m sickened. Absolutely sickened by our country’s hypocrisy.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

P.S. Fifty Cent is my hero. He has a strip club and a Playboy-style pool grotto in his mansion. When I make that kind of money, my house will have them too. A strip club! At home! Not just a strip pole, but a WHOLE CLUB! Imagine this: You wake up, eat breakfast, and think to yourself, “I’m bored. Hmm do I want to watch tv? No I think I’ll go in the strip club room and see all my groupies who are here almost every night.” Oh yeah… that’s the life.

Miscellaneous stuff

Where do I start?

Food Update
Ok so some people have been asking me how my first week went with my new vegan lifestyle and it actually caught me by surprise cause I didn’t expect people to really care. I mean, in the past, I would have kind of rolled my eyes if someone told me they were going to start eating only vegan food. It has now been 7 complete days since I gave up dairy and meat products. Ironically, I *gained* 6.5 pounds in the first 3 days (I can only guess that my body was in shock as it got rid of bad toxins) and my fat percentage went up by two percent. Since then, I’ve managed to drop 1-2 pounds, but in essence - so far… this new vegan way of eating has contributed to an unexpected weight gain. Not cool. I still haven’t told my personal consultant at Jenny Craig about my new lifestyle, which I should cause she’s left a million messages on my machine asking where I am and if I am ok. I suppose it’s time I talk to the folks at JC and see if they can help me transition and still maintain a diet WHILE going completely vegan. I am not giving up. I’m doing this for a serious cause and it means a great deal to me to maintain this. And I’ve spent, now, over $700 (in just a freaking week) on healthy food, condiments, snacks, drinks, etc. mostly cause I had no idea what I would like, so I bought a little of everything.

As far as the food itself, I’ve developed a taste for tofu (who knew?) and enjoy many meatless products, (still eating fruits and veggies, that part hasn’t changed), and dairy-less cheese. At first the fake cheese was really gross and I practically spit it out, but then I found another brand and it is sooo yummy. Sometimes it’s all about the brand. Soy milk has become my best friend (I like the original) and original rice milk is also very good. Soy Dream brand ice cream is fucking delicious. And vegan cookies, brownies, etc. Wow! Now I just have to learn how to turn it into a diet instead of just scarfing my face with food and stop telling myself that just cause it’s healthy doesn’t mean it’s fat-free. Apparently, I’m not eating in moderation (hell, it’s so good I just want to eat all day) so I have to cut back or at least alter a few things on my daily menu. The folks at JC can surely help with that. That’s what I pay them for.

So there’s only one mistake I made and it was last night. I bought a pack of veggies for steaming (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots) and it was one of those steamable microwavable things in the bag and I assumed they were just vegetables but there was a little butter in it and I didn’t realize it until after I ate it. And I had been reading ingredients SO CAREFULLY up until then. So I messed up a little by having the butter mixed in the bag. Next time I won’t get that and will steam regular vegetables without a bag and add my own dairyless margarine. I bought my first steamer and have yet to use it.

Lost in a Jigsaw
At Barnes n Noble (don’t tell my dad cause he works at Borders and he’ll freak if he knew I bought a product from his rival bookstore), I bought a jigsaw puzzle that is this cool maze. It won Puzzle of the Year last year and truly is challenging. All the pieces are shaped the same way, so they all fit each other. And the puzzle itself IS a maze and you can’t actually put the pieces together unless you know what direction you need to move. And although it comes with a photo of the maze, it’s still closed and intact. I’m the kind of person that won’t open the photo key unless I absolutely *have* to and I figure that since I’ve come this far, I may as well leave the photo key closed. Haven’t peaked at it once. It’s actually way more fun to do knowing I’m doing it without a photo or knowing how it’s supposed to come together.

Here is a photo of the unfinished puzzle:

Friendly kitty
John Holmes the Porn Cat loves me a little bit too much. He leaves his love marks all over my arms and hands. I clipped his nails shorter, but they still draw blood when he gets happy. I love how feisty he gets.

Here is a photo of his friendliness:

Thanks for the crystal lamp
I love the salt crystal lamp that Floralessence bought me. He also bought me another gift, which I love - and this lamp lights up the room so peacefully. One thing I love about Floralessence is that every Sunday, he gives me his weekly tithe, like people do at church. He’s been doing it every week for months and months and months and months. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s given over a thousand dollars in tithes and offerings. I truly am a blessed Goddess. Thank you for your kindness :)
Here is a photo of me with the lamp:



Love
Isabella
xxooxox

Christmas lights

First of all I want to thank everyone who commented in my previous entry, I haven’t responded to anyone but it means a lot that you all were so encouraging and offered such wonderful advice. I truly appreciate it.

I successfully completed was my first day of eating vegan food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks! I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. I even ate a slice of vegan chocolate cake and a yummy brownie with ice cream. I had no idea that stuff like that could be made without milk and sugar. How cool! And so delicious! And I’ve never been a big fan of soy, but for some reason - everything soy I ate today was scrumptious. It was like I *wanted* to like it, so I did. I even ate my first tofu sandwich. Now keep in mind - I’m the same girl who spit tofu out of my mouth a year ago because I mistook it for styrofoam. Wow was I wrong. That shit is good. Anyway I did have an interesting craving for milk when I ate the brownie (gotta have milk when eating cookies or brownies), however, I downed a glass of soy milk and it filled the craving nicely. I wasn’t sure what soy milk to buy, so I bought 5 types: plain, vanilla, chocolate, egg nog, and unsweetened. So far I like the plain, chocolate, and egg nog. I haven’t tried the others yet.

I must admit, I spent far more on this food than any food in the past. My grocery bill ended up running over $500. But then again, I bought even things like vegan condiments and stuff cause I completely threw out everything else. And the stuff I *haven’t* thrown out yet are in bags for Jenny to get when she comes over. I’m also trying to lower my sugar intake (and that includes aspartame, high-fructose syrup, and a ton of others) so my body can get rid of all the bad toxins and stuff.

The energy I felt today was out of this world. Seriously. I wanted to get up and move! The last week or so, I’ve been kind of lethargic and haven’t worked out or anything (which is highly unlike me) but today was insane! I just HAD to exercise. So instead of working out in the gym, I did unplanned activity by hanging up christmas lights all over the house. I even hung up a beautiful wreath with lights on the front door and put about a dozen lit candy canes along the edge of the sidewalk. I still have many more things to put outside, like snowflake lights, and I still have yet to line the staircase with white lights. But I’ll do that later. Here are some photos so you can see how it turned out.

Can you see John Holmes the Porn Cat camouflaged in two of the photos? (Hint: He’s actually in the same spot in two photos)

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

Another weight post

I thought this dress had been given away to Goodwill but this afternoon saw it hanging in the closet and after some debate, decided to try it on. Remind me never to wear it again LOL. I know people always say “Get rid of oversized clothes” and I DO and HAVE and continue to. I had no idea I even had this. So when I saw the before photo I posted, I thought it might be interesting to compare side to side how my body has changed.

Remind me to throw this dress away. Notice I have my hands behind my back cause I’m trying to tighten the dress to show my figure. It’s practically 8-10 sizes too big and it literally fit me like a tent.

One thing I’ve noticed is my breasts. Do they look smaller to you? Here’s the thing. My bra band size is still practically the same (just not as tight). Maybe I was wearing the wrong size before. The most bizarre thing is that my actual cup size has gone down from a Double D to a D (and one person said “in between a C and a D”). My jaw dropped. I thought losing weight meant you lose the fat around your back and chest, not your breasts? I even had them measured by three different people at department stores. I’m still trying to get used to my new body. I haven’t been at this weight since late 1998. And once I lose 35 more pounds, I’ll be at my curvy high school weight (1997-98).

Lately I’ve noticed that when I tighten my neck, I actually get neck muscles. Like, those little vein thingies. I have a neck. Who knew?

And I’m still trying to get used to all the new attention. I mean, don’t get me wrong, people have always flirted with me and I’ve gotten compliments (even as a big girl)… but nowadays, it seems the “attracted audience” has expanded. The people that flirt with me tend to look better. It almost makes me realize how superficial people can be. Thankfully I have my head on straight and aren’t doing it for them. I never thought my weight was that big of a deal - which is how I got so big to begin with. I never thought of myself as “big” — just more of me to love. I didn’t even realize I arrived at my heaviest weight until I saw an unexpected self-portrait and didn’t recognize myself. That was a wakeup call. I knew if I lost weight, it would prevent diabetes and heart disease and some cancer, but that wasn’t what made me do it. I guess I just wanted to have a prettier figure, but my choice was made for me - not for anyone else - or to PLEASE anyone else. I’m doing this so I can masturbate looking at myself in the mirror and get off haha. Well ok, I do that already. But you get what I’m saying.

Another thing. And I know I’ve said this a million times (both in my written journal and audio blog) that it aggravates me when people say, “You must feel so much more confident now.” I mean, I hear this ALL the time from SO many people. It’s almost like people assume that if you’re a big person, you’re somehow less deserving of having confidence or that big people have low self-esteem. It’s rather insulting. Lots of large people love themselves (more power to them!). Even on the Tyra Banks show, a psychiatrist was comparing the lives between two sisters: an obese woman and a coke-addicted skinny girl and said out loud, “I can only assume you’re throwing up your food so you don’t grow up to look fat like your sister. You said you’re only doing this because the thinner you are, the more friends you have. So you’re saying if you’re skinny, you’ll continue to stay popular.” The skinny girl agreed. Then he looked at the big girl and said, “Wow you two are total opposites. I don’t know you’re current situation, but I assume you probably have less friends and are less popular which is why your sister fights so hard to not be big like you.” And of course, this insulted the bigger girl who replied with, “Hey I have lots of friends and a man who loves me. SHE is the one who struggles with self-confidence. That’s why she’s on coke and can’t keep her food down. I already realize I’m big, but that doesn’t mean you should assume I have less friends.”

It was nice to hear someone say that because I’ve been thinking that for years. Just because someone is big doesn’t mean they have less friends or have less self-love. Hell, I know THOUSANDS of people who claim to adore me and at least 300 people I consider “friends” and probably 10 “really close” friends. Even at my heaviest, I loved myself so much that I wanted to treat my body with anything I could. If it wanted something delicious, I would give it something delicious. If I wanted to give it a manicure, I’d give it a manicure. If I wanted to go to the spa, I’d get a massage or a pedicure. None of that has changed. I eat the SAME foods I ate before, just learned how to do it in moderation. I still have fun being me and still feel good about myself.

People often ask, “Wow you’ve lost all this weight, are you more confident about yourself now?” And I’ve always said, “I feel equally as confident. I was confident then and I’m just as confident now.” For some strange reason, that SHOCKS people. Most the time they even lean their bodies backwards or make a strange face as though they simply cannot believe it. I’ve come to believe this is because OTHER people have LOW self confidence and they somehow equate bigness with being their greatest fear. I’ve heard people say, “I’d rather be dead than fat.” And it shocks me. Being fat may cause health risks, but if being a corpse is better, then obviously they have unresolved mental issues. At least big person can exercise - a corpse can’t.

A few of my emails yesterday were pretty much along the same lines. One kind man with good intentions said something along the lines of (and I’m paraphrasing), “You must be more confident because your recordings are getting better and they’re more polished.” LOL that made me laugh too. I mean, confidence didn’t make my mp3s better. Earning 3 new certifications, including one in NLP made them better. I studied for 6 months to get that certification and in November I’m going for my Master in NLP. And yes, my recordings will KEEP getting better. Anyone who has heard Holy Goddess or The Apocalypse know how strong, powerful, and amazing those recordings were. And guess what? They were done at my heaviest weight. My confidence oozes out of them.

The only thing different between then and now is I’ve decided to work my beautiful ass into something skintight, short-n-skimpy, body flattering, and photographer-envying outfit. But whether I gain weight or lose weight is irrelevant to me. The truth of the matter is - I love myself, just like everyone should love themselves. Anyone who thinks they can only be confident if they get to a desired weight will never be happy. You have to love, appreciate, and respect yourself first. Skinny people get health issues too. It’s all about, “Does this treat my body well?” and doing it in moderation. Too much of anything can be harmful, even if it’s done for all the best intentions. I guess the difference is that I’ve learned the difference between moderation and overindulgence. But I wouldn’t necessarily call that confidence. I would call that awareness. Have I gained awareness? Hell yes. More than I ever thought possible!

*raises glass of water*

Here’s to awareness!!! May everyone be aware of themselves :-)
*cheers*

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox

HALFWAY THERE!!!!!

Just got weighed at Jenny Craig and I am so proud and so happy to have finally accomplished a major goal! I’m FINALLLLLLYYYYYYY halfway to my goal weight!!! YAY!!!! I’ve lost over 100 lbs now and that’s a huge marker for me. My initial goal was to drop 206 pounds. I’ve now lost 103 pounds, which means I have 103 more to go. FUCK YEAH!!! And I did it between 10-11 months the healthy way with hard work, exercise, eating properly, and lots of hypnosis hehe.

From here on out, I’ll be that much closer to flaunting my skin in a bikini.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

P.S. I decided to throw a little special surprise behind this cut for those of you who actually read my journal. Since I’m in an excellent mood, I’ve chosen to let each of you pick ONE Sensually therapeutic hypnosis mp3. It’s yours free. The only catch is, you have to be a member of Niteflirt.com (it’s free). The only reason you gotta be a member is so I can tell who has a copy so people don’t abuse this by pretending to be different people (nice try). So all you have to do is write a letter to Isabella Valentine from your Niteflirt account and say the words, “I am sooooo proud of you” in your subject header. hehe, I just love being proud of myself. And just be sure to let me know which mp3 you’d like. It’s free and this is my gift to you. I love throwing hidden special surprises in my LJ.






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