Well tomorrow I’m going to a munch in Indy with folks within the BDSM community. Gotta be frank, out here in Indiana, I’ve gone through great lengths to try to find people to hang out with. So I am very excited, optimistic, and hopeful about tomorrow and the new friends I’ll make.

However, on another note. One particular yahoo group community called Andromeda, which is geared towards lesbians and transgenders in the BDSM community (hello, I’m a perfect candidate) unapproved my membership in their group. Why, you ask? Because I’m Isabella Valentine and they merely assumed I was there to advertise my services, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. It’s so frustrating. I went there, as a normal human being. A domme wanting to be part of a discussion with likeminded people in Indiana, and because my outdated profile showed me as “Isabella Valentine” (even though I didn’t introduce myself as such), I basically got a slap in the face. I was stereotyped as a “pro domme” as if somehow people pay me to beat them. And so what if someone does? Would it make me that much “less” as a domme if money is exchanged for a service? I am so sick and tired of being stereotyped and pigeonholed. If you look for something negative to happen, then negativity will happen. If you expect greatness, you’ll receive greatness. However, one thing I never looked for (or expected) was to be considered “non-human” by people who didn’t even take the time to get to know me.

This sort of reminds me of the time my friend got discriminated against by Paypal when they accused her of selling porn and labeled her a “porn star” when all she was doing was asking friends for money when she needed it. It was a horrible thing she went through. People defining her and labeling her. It was downright disgusting. And now, in some twisted way, it feels like I’m going through something similar. Never in a million years did I think that I would be categorized (within my personal life) as a domme only interested in money. It really is ludicrous. I’ve lived and breathed domination for years and personally, I can’t imagine my life without it. I feel empty without a slave. I feel lonely and isolated without a slave partner of my own. No true slave of mine has ever forked over one red cent to me. I’ve thrown fetish parties out of my home where anyone was welcome. No one paid a dime there either, not even tips. So where do they get off saying money is my only intention? That’s like calling me a prostitute or something.

Sorry to get off tangent, but this has been weighing on my shoulders all freaking day. It was so rude of that moderator to dismiss my application in such a cowardly way. I even wrote back explaining my intentions were purely selfless and a submissive male replied with complete discrimination. I’ve been discriminated against for years, whether being gay (I was gay before gay was “in” and went through hell in Alabama because of it) or being fat or being young or being a girl… and now I’m being discriminated against because of my occupation. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I won’t apologize for my occupation. My work is a deep passion. I offer people what they want - hope, a release, a fantasy, a life away from the mundane. I’d much rather be doing this, than go back to working at a newspaper.

I’m tired of having to defend myself all the time. So from this day forward, it ends here. The only way good things will come my way is to attract them, so I’m going to do my best to do just that.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo