I am totally turned on at the idea of two boy slaves being forced to suck each other off in front of me. Even moreso, commanding them to masturbate naked in front of each other where their penises touch and they’re forced to look into each other’s eyes.
Two nights ago I masturbated thinking about that. I still can’t shake it.
I’ve always been turned on by gay sex. Female on female. Male on male. One time, a few years ago (and there’s probably a journal entry already written about it from way way back if any of you feel so inclined to search for it between 2003-2004), I was masturbating in bed watching a male gay porn video. My sister and her husband opened the door to my apartment (I didn’t lock it cause frankly, I didn’t expect people to just open my front door like that) and since at the time I only had a one-bedroom apartment… they walked right into my bedroom. My sister only saw the edge of my socks, so she didn’t see me physically masturbating - but she saw the movie that was playing and the scene just happened to be two guys stroking each other in bed. The look on her face was priceless. I was slightly embarrassed, but in retrospect I thought it was rather funny. Keep in mind that my sister has walked on me masturbating (or having sex) probably half a dozen times in my life, so this was nothing new to her. However, the male gay porn video stunned her really. To this day, she doesn’t understand why it arouses me. It just does.
Most of the gay bars that I’ve been to in the past were mainly male-friendly. I mean sure, I’ve been to my share of lesbian bars, but the problem is that most of the women who go to the lesbian bars are either taken or straight. Yup, that’s right. Fucking straight girls. They go there to try to get free drinks from girls who actually want a chance to BE with them — or they go to “experiment.” When girls tell me they just want to experiment, I hear, “Will you be my science project?” (Um, no.)
So I spent most of my time at male gay bars. Some nights there would be about 300-400 men and maybe 5-10 women. One night I remember having a 3-person frenchkiss where I kissed two guys at the same time and other than the fact they tasted like beer (yuck), it was actually pretty hot.
Gay guys are fun to be around and I’ve always loved them. My best friend, Rick, is gay and he’s always trying to get me to go to more clubs with him - but there is only one gay bar here (Uncle Elizabeth’s) and it’s dead. All the other gay bars are closed down so we resort to going to straight bars, which is fun cause I tend to entertain myself pretty well — but he gets bored as hell unless he can flirt with other guys.
The only thing hard for me that I still deal with — is how to tell which girls out there are sincerely into women. I find it so annoying when girls see a lesbian and think, “Oh how cool, I’d love to experiment.” Because that just makes me less interested. I’m not an experimental guinea pig that girls can try out to see if they like. It makes me miss San Diego when that happens, cause at least there were tons of girl-loving lesbians out there who were sincere. That’s really the main reason I’ve had a difficult time finding the right lesbian relationship for me. Girls are usually taken. Or frankly, straight. And the ones who DO like me are actually pretty cool. But I don’t feel like breaking hearts because I *am* moving to Vegas, so that’s the reason I haven’t really let myself go. Plus, sex has become a pretty sacred thing for me (other than the unexpected one-night stand with a stripper in Orange County this summer - Watch my Stripclub Confessions video) and it’s not something I take lightly.
I think one of the reasons it turns me on so much to watch guys have sex with each other is because deep down, I’m secretly jealous that they get to have their relationship but I haven’t found mine. The jealousy sparks a taboo interest that goes right to my g-spot. I’m not Freud, I can’t explain it. There’s really nothing stopping me from having mine too, I suppose I just choose not to for the time being. My spiritual awakening in Hawaii has led me to a huge transition point in life and it seems irresponsible to get attached to a girl and then move away. I suppose nothing is stopping me from having my cake and eating it too, but for now - the cake looks really nice on the counter.
Love
Isabella
xoxoxoo
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