Tag Archive for 'friends'

Domme Discrimination

Well tomorrow I’m going to a munch in Indy with folks within the BDSM community. Gotta be frank, out here in Indiana, I’ve gone through great lengths to try to find people to hang out with. So I am very excited, optimistic, and hopeful about tomorrow and the new friends I’ll make.

However, on another note. One particular yahoo group community called Andromeda, which is geared towards lesbians and transgenders in the BDSM community (hello, I’m a perfect candidate) unapproved my membership in their group. Why, you ask? Because I’m Isabella Valentine and they merely assumed I was there to advertise my services, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. It’s so frustrating. I went there, as a normal human being. A domme wanting to be part of a discussion with likeminded people in Indiana, and because my outdated profile showed me as “Isabella Valentine” (even though I didn’t introduce myself as such), I basically got a slap in the face. I was stereotyped as a “pro domme” as if somehow people pay me to beat them. And so what if someone does? Would it make me that much “less” as a domme if money is exchanged for a service? I am so sick and tired of being stereotyped and pigeonholed. If you look for something negative to happen, then negativity will happen. If you expect greatness, you’ll receive greatness. However, one thing I never looked for (or expected) was to be considered “non-human” by people who didn’t even take the time to get to know me.

This sort of reminds me of the time my friend got discriminated against by Paypal when they accused her of selling porn and labeled her a “porn star” when all she was doing was asking friends for money when she needed it. It was a horrible thing she went through. People defining her and labeling her. It was downright disgusting. And now, in some twisted way, it feels like I’m going through something similar. Never in a million years did I think that I would be categorized (within my personal life) as a domme only interested in money. It really is ludicrous. I’ve lived and breathed domination for years and personally, I can’t imagine my life without it. I feel empty without a slave. I feel lonely and isolated without a slave partner of my own. No true slave of mine has ever forked over one red cent to me. I’ve thrown fetish parties out of my home where anyone was welcome. No one paid a dime there either, not even tips. So where do they get off saying money is my only intention? That’s like calling me a prostitute or something.

Sorry to get off tangent, but this has been weighing on my shoulders all freaking day. It was so rude of that moderator to dismiss my application in such a cowardly way. I even wrote back explaining my intentions were purely selfless and a submissive male replied with complete discrimination. I’ve been discriminated against for years, whether being gay (I was gay before gay was “in” and went through hell in Alabama because of it) or being fat or being young or being a girl… and now I’m being discriminated against because of my occupation. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I won’t apologize for my occupation. My work is a deep passion. I offer people what they want - hope, a release, a fantasy, a life away from the mundane. I’d much rather be doing this, than go back to working at a newspaper.

I’m tired of having to defend myself all the time. So from this day forward, it ends here. The only way good things will come my way is to attract them, so I’m going to do my best to do just that.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

Blog Award

Special thank you to Angela St. Lawrence for nominating my blog as one of the best online. I’m one of her top 5 favorites as “Rockin Girl Blogger.” She wrote some wonderful things about me that were so sweet! (Visit her entry here).

“Isabella Valentine: A partner in crime and good friend, Isabella is a top-shelf PSO and high-profile web seductress specializing in Erotic Hypnotism. Her recorded audios are legendary; even my callers talk to me about Isabella! Because she is one self-actualized chickadee (she is a student, audio recorder, a web designer, a photographer and an artist…and who knows what else), Isabella has a lot to talk about and her blog reflects this. Being both candid and generous, Isabella gives readers personal glimpses into her daily life, features plenty of her photography and artwork, and tops it all off with bunches of FREE audio and video clips. Simply scrumptious.”

And now I am supposed to pick 5 blogs that I read all the time, whom I consider MUST READS. The thing is, I read TONS of blogs and so many of them are heartfelt, honest, and REAL on so many levels. It’s hard to pick just five. I could probably list 20 favorites more than just five, but if I had to think REAL long and hard, here they are (in order):

1. http://adevotedslave.livejournal.com - What’s not to love about deidre? Her journal takes you deep into the heart of who she is on every level. Readers are introduced to every facet of who she is and she doesn’t hold back. That’s one thing I love about her so much, she’s so honest and real. If she’s having a sucky day, she talks about it. If she’s feeling rather proud of herself, she talks about that too. The complex life of being a slave is shown so transparently here, and she aggressively defies all stereotypes of slavegirls. The girl behind the journal is more than an owned pet, she is a dear and caring person who I’ve had the pleasure of knowing in real life. She is as real as it gets.

2. http://kaya_s.livejournal.com - This slavegirl blows me away. I’m more drawn into her journal than a soap opera and for good reason. She shows pictures that, at first seemed shocking (bloody ass, nails through breasts, needle play, tack bra), however when getting to read who she IS and why she does it, I couldn’t help but be drawn to her. She is a happily owned slave who goes through tremendous pain and pleasure and uses her journal as an outlet. She’s so bare and raw, revealing things that sometimes makes me drop my jaw. But it’s not the shock factor that appeals to me, it’s how honest she is about her life. Sometimes she talks about her disapproval with wanting to do something and then a day later talks about how discipline reminds herself why she goes through the things she does. A must read for BDSM fanatics.

3. http://zenfetish.com - Angela St. Lawrence is a great personal friend who is one of the most beautiful souls I know. She’d give the shirt off her back to a person in need (and has) and doesn’t brag about it. You can tell just by her writing how humble, sweet, and thoughtful she is on every level… and yet, can easily dominate even the hardest of men. Her complexities are so interesting: she loves lesbian porn but has no interest in being with a woman. She writes with literary grace and intellect and truly captivates every type of audience. I am honored to know such a person and even more honored that we’re friends.

4. http://missrubykisses.livejournal.com - Gotta love Miss Ruby Kisses on every level. She started this very informative journal about phone sex which is both intriguing as well as insightful. Unlike many phone sex operators who simply start a journal for their own commercial or financial purposes, she actually uses this journal to inform people about phone sex and what it entails. She discusses common questions, funny antidotes, her personal experiences with callers - which makes it not only a fun read, but a great place to go if you’re either a caller or a phone sex operator. The woman behind the journal is smart, intelligent, and a beautiful and talented woman who writes amazingly well.

5. http://bitchyjones.com - *sigh* bitchy jones. bitchy jones. What can I possibly say about this journal? Truth be told, I don’t always agree with her. She thinks it’s stupid when dominatrixes want to be called Goddess or even dress in Domme garb cause she thinks it’s over the top. She also thinks it ridiculous that guys want to dress like women and says it’s because they have a gender crisis. Personally, most of the time I’m disagreeing with her more than agreeing with her, BUT she speaks her mind and that’s what I love about her. She’s sadistic and admits it, talking about what she’d like to see her slaves go through for her. She’s blunt and charismatic. She’s dominant without being stereotypical. Her journal is an entertaining read that is sure to make you read, whether you love her or hate her. It’s kind of like the Howard Stern of blogs, if I had to compare her blog to something.

It was hard picking just five, so please forgive me if yours wasn’t mentioned. There are dozens of them out there that I read and love. But these 5 are my obsession.

Love
Isabella
xoxooxox

LJ Settings

If you’ve ever read any of my journal entries and wanted to comment but have been unable to do so, now you can.

I’ve adjusted the comment settings on my journal. Everyone, including anonymous people, are now welcome to comment. However, if you’re not on my friends list, it will be screened first. If you want to be on my friends list, all you have to do is friend me and have a journal yourself (if it’s an empty journal, I might not friend you back, but you can still comment).

All I ask is that people be respectful when they leave their comments. In the past, I’ve had anonymous people just be downright rude which is why I had the settings set differently. So this time, I’m giving it another chance. I like the motto, “Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say if we were having coffee together.”

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoxo

Friends in San Diego

I invited some friends to join me in my hotel room (and then we went down to the pool on the 4th floor which overlooked the city of San Diego sooo beautifully). You may recognize some of my friends from past journal entries :-)

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox






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