The Man Who Would Be Queen
The Man Who Would Be Queen: By J. Michael Bailey
ISBN: 0-309-08418-0
Published by Joseph Henry Press
Page 75
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Walking |
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| Masculine:Long strides, free knee action Minimum hip movements Foot placement – straddling line Arm movements from shoulder Firm wrist action Arms hang loosely from shoulders |
Feminine:Short strides, controlled knee action Pronounced hip movements Stepping on a line Arm movements from elbow Limp wrist action Upper arms held fairly close to body |
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Standing |
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| Masculine:Feet Apart Arm movemtnts from shoulder Firm wrist action Hand(s) in pocket |
Feminine:Feet together Arm movements from elbow Limp wrist action Hands on hips |
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Sitting |
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| Masculine: Buttocks away from chair back Leg not crossed or ankle on knee Precise hand motions Arm movements from shoulder Firm wrist action |
Feminine: Buttocks close to chair back Legs crossed, knee on knee Graceful hand motions Arm movements from elbow Limp wrist action |
Pages 80-81
When I ask my gay friends about what feminine traits they dislike, they usually begin by talking about the voice. An older acquaintance related how once in a gay bathhouse, he was on the verge of having sex with a very attractive and muscular stranger, when the stranger spoke, “When he opened his mouth, a purse fell out. I got limp.” But when I went to a Halsted bar with my gay graduate student, he was able to determine which men he would likely reject merely by watching them move. We don’t yet really know what gay men mean whey they say they dislike femmes.
This leaves the question of why. When I talk about this with other psychologists, the most common suggestion is internalized femiphobia – femininity has been punished so often by the straight world that gay men, too, come to hate it. This makes sense to me, but it not the only plausible hypothesis. Another one is that behavioral masculinity characterizes the prototypic man. If one is attracted to men, then one will be attracted to those with masculine behavior. The second hypothesis is less malevolent but more pessimistic than the first. The second hypothesis implies that femiphobia is not due to social intolerance but is intrinsic to male homosexuality and is not remediable even by reforming straight society to make it less homophobic. It suggests that across time and place, gay men will desire masculine men, and thus, acknowledging their own femininity makes them feel undesirable. We don’t know yet how universal the gay male preference for masculinity is, although most of my foreign gay friends say that it is true in their locales as well.
… I suggested that having been mistreated as feminine boys is not the only reason gay men tend to react uncomfortably to the implication that they are, or used to be, feminine, The other reason, which I hope is now obvious, is that gay men themselves dislike femininity, or at least they find it sexually unattractive. To call a gay man “feminine” is not only to say that he is a target of many straight men’s ill will, but also that he is less attractive than he would be otherwise. It is certainly an unfortunate state of affairs that gay men tend to be feminine, tend to be less attracted to femininity, but tend to be stuck with each other. There are similar ironies in straight relationships. The designer of the universe has a perverse sense of humor.
If you enjoyed reading this, you may also enjoy the erotic hypnosis recording available as an mp3 download titled “Femme Hostel.”
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