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New site look

Published on March 18, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

I changed the front page of IsabellaValentine.com along with the header and background of the home page. I absolutely love the custom logo that Kat designed for me. It encompasses everything I believe in… hypnosis, new age and energy, veganism, cats, lesbianism, domination, overcoming challenges… all in one beautiful image. It’s amazing how such a beautiful image could come out of her imagination like that. Thank you, Kat.

In other news, I’ve spent the last several days stepping AWAY from the computer just to hang out and have fun. Hey I deserve it, especially considering the stuff I’ve been going through lately. Anyway, slave m and I have teamed up to play Dark Alliance 2 (Balder’s Gate) and have been kicking ass playing tag-team video games. He’s playing a female human cleric who has the power to heal, bless, and protect. And I am playing a male human barbarian who has the muscles, strength, and toughness. It’s ironic of all the characters I could have played, I chose to be a strong man who is in control, going in battle and doing the hand-to-hand melee combat with heavy two-handed weapons. And slave m chooses a girl who stays in the back, casting spells, and perfecting her accuracy while shooting bows and arrows. I guess it’s no surprise that I wear the pants in this house… and we all know who’s the bitch. hehe. I keep joking with him about it.

Funny thing is, we both took gender personality tests (based on several transgender books I’ve been studying). It turns out that he is 66% internally female. And I am 75% internally male. Not really a shock. As far as external traits go, I have a lot of masculine qualities: I kinda walk like a guy… so when I wear heels, it looks really… really awkward. I wear them for photoshoots, but gotta be honest, I rarely, if ever wear them. Boots I can wear with no problem. But stilettos? Gah. I’d be more likely to fall over and break my neck than anything. I stand like a guy (excluding photoshoots, which I really don’t count). And I’ve been told that my demeanor is often quite masculine. If I didn’t have breasts, pussy, curves, and a killer voice… I’m sure I’d be mistaken for a guy ANY TIME. No shame here… I EMBRACE my masculine side. One of these days, and this is my dream, that everyone will embrace their genders within them and get over this heterosexual/homosexual/what are you/bullshit. People are people. Within every man is a little (or a lot) of a woman. And within every woman is a little (or a lot) of a man. Anyone who denies their inner genders and gets all fussy about it is, in my opinion, the very people who - while in denial in the beginning - end up embracing it the most - in the long run.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

P.S. Several days ago, I recorded an erotic hypnosis recording that many people have been waiting to be released. It’s my first mp3 that involves hypnotizing people (men, women, and transgenders - yes, even women can do this)…. to cum without touching themselves and without grinding or rubbing up against anything. I love recordings that involve teasing, denying, and gratifying and this one touches all the bases. Do you want to cum without even touching yourself? Then very soon you’ll have the opportunity. I’m considering releasing it tomorrow or the day after. It’s been done for days, but for some reason… I like teasing people before releasing it. I’m so bad.

The Man Who Would Be Queen

Published on March 11, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

The Man Who Would Be Queen

Mind Reading: The Man Who Would Be Queen

The Man Who Would Be Queen: By J. Michael Bailey

ISBN: 0-309-08418-0

Published by Joseph Henry Press

Page 75

Walking
Masculine:Long strides, free knee action Minimum hip movements Foot placement – straddling line Arm movements from shoulder Firm wrist action Arms hang loosely from shoulders	Feminine:Short strides, controlled knee action Pronounced hip movements Stepping on a line Arm movements from elbow Limp wrist action Upper arms held fairly close to body
Standing
Masculine:Feet Apart Arm movemtnts from shoulder Firm wrist action Hand(s) in pocket	Feminine:Feet together Arm movements from elbow Limp wrist action Hands on hips
Sitting
Masculine: Buttocks away from chair back Leg not crossed or ankle on knee Precise hand motions Arm movements from shoulder Firm wrist action	Feminine: Buttocks close to chair back Legs crossed, knee on knee Graceful hand motions Arm movements from elbow Limp wrist action

Pages 80-81

When I ask my gay friends about what feminine traits they dislike, they usually begin by talking about the voice. An older acquaintance related how once in a gay bathhouse, he was on the verge of having sex with a very attractive and muscular stranger, when the stranger spoke, “When he opened his mouth, a purse fell out. I got limp.” But when I went to a Halsted bar with my gay graduate student, he was able to determine which men he would likely reject merely by watching them move. We don’t yet really know what gay men mean whey they say they dislike femmes.

This leaves the question of why. When I talk about this with other psychologists, the most common suggestion is internalized femiphobia – femininity has been punished so often by the straight world that gay men, too, come to hate it. This makes sense to me, but it not the only plausible hypothesis. Another one is that behavioral masculinity characterizes the prototypic man. If one is attracted to men, then one will be attracted to those with masculine behavior. The second hypothesis is less malevolent but more pessimistic than the first. The second hypothesis implies that femiphobia is not due to social intolerance but is intrinsic to male homosexuality and is not remediable even by reforming straight society to make it less homophobic. It suggests that across time and place, gay men will desire masculine men, and thus, acknowledging their own femininity makes them feel undesirable. We don’t know yet how universal the gay male preference for masculinity is, although most of my foreign gay friends say that it is true in their locales as well.

… I suggested that having been mistreated as feminine boys is not the only reason gay men tend to react uncomfortably to the implication that they are, or used to be, feminine, The other reason, which I hope is now obvious, is that gay men themselves dislike femininity, or at least they find it sexually unattractive. To call a gay man “feminine” is not only to say that he is a target of many straight men’s ill will, but also that he is less attractive than he would be otherwise. It is certainly an unfortunate state of affairs that gay men tend to be feminine, tend to be less attracted to femininity, but tend to be stuck with each other. There are similar ironies in straight relationships. The designer of the universe has a perverse sense of humor.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may also enjoy the erotic hypnosis recording available as an mp3 download titled “Femme Hostel.”

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Sissyphobia

Published on March 11, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

Sissyphobia

Mind Reading: Sissyphobia

Sissy Phobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behavior

ISBN: 1-56023-990-5

Published by: Harrington Park Press

Page 27

From a constructionist viewpoint, just about every assumption we make about sexuality is based on a lifetime of cultural programming, much of it gained subconsciously. We’ve learned that a man is supposed to be this and act this way; a woman is that and behaves in that fashion. And we get the same kind of programming about gay men and lesbians, with more assumptions made, judgments reached, a sexual identity created. Human sexuality from the constructionists’ viewpoint is anything but hardwired; they suggest it’s more like a computer that can be booted up with any and every kind of software imaginable, running programs that occasionally shift and change over periods of time.

Page 31

Indeed, some researchers will tell you that there may be sound physiological reasons why some gay men “swish” while others “swagger”; just as many scientists may have come to believe in a biological basis for same-sex orientation itself, some researchers have also determined that effeminate behavior is, in many cases, part of a package deal. In their view, being a gay man often carries with it certain behavioral “luggage” that tends toward designer sets more than a beat-up duffel bag. They suggest that being gay isn’t simply about men who want to have sex with other men; that’s just part of a whole constellation of traits that tend toward the “gender atypical.” So although you can’t predict a man who’s sexually attracted to men is going to show other feminine characteristics, you can be relatively certain that a gay man is more likely to behave that way than someone who’s straight. (I should point out that some academics vehemently dispute the notion that gay men are any more or less effeminate than their straight counterparts; one suggested to me that he “couldn’t think of anyone” who would assume someone was gay because he was effeminate. For what’ it’s worth, more than 95 percent of the folks I interviewed said exactly the opposite.)

Page 33

It’s key to remember that, as with sexual orientation, effeminate behavior isn’t black and white. People score all over the spectrum. It’s not as if you’re either a “sissy boy” or you’re not. Quite a few gay men fall midway between the poles, leaning one way or another. Yet persisting within straight society is the idea that the vast majority of gay men display effeminate characteristics. That’s where the stereotype of your average gay Bob comes from, and why the conversational shorthand for gay is often a wrist flicked limply.

Page 81

The performance art that we call flamboyancy probably has less to do with true effeminate behavior than it does with history. If you think that men dressing in over-the-top costumes or behaving in wild imitation of female behavior is a new idea, or that heading out for a night of lascivious carousing at the local drinking establishment is a modern invention, think again – the “mollies” of Merry Olde England have you beat by about 300 years. Such behavior has been a staple of gay nightlife since the eighteenth century, when for the first time gay men began to gather in the great metropolitan cities of London, Paris, and Amsterdam.

Gay men dressing as women, or behaving in wildly flamboyant ways, wasn’t just for “show.” It also had the practical effect of making certain sexual liaisons possible; it was much more palatable for earlier generations of men who did not think of themselves as homosexual – no one had even invented the term yet – to have sex with a “fairy,” as long as the fairy in question played up the feminine role, usually including that of being the “receiver.” The active partner could then depart the encounter with his sense of masculinity intact, the entire episode dismissed as a mere dalliance with someone who had just about the same social status as a common whore. (In fact, the regal epithet “queen” most likely dates back at least a century, when it was transferred from its English application to loose women and prostitutes to wildly effeminate men and call boys, who were largely seen as moving in the same circles. Some even suggested the word “camp” comes from an abbreviation of the term “camp follower,” a nineteenth-century synonym for a prostitute.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may also enjoy the erotic hypnosis recording available as an mp3 download titled “Sissy Shower.”

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Being gay on American Idol

Published on February 20, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

This is going to be a rant, so be forewarned that I’m not exactly in the best of mood as I write this.

*begin rant*

For those of you who watched Tuesday night’s American Idol where the top 12 male singers performed, you may have remembered the performance Danny Noriega did, along with his responses to Simon. His singing was ok, nothing too great (he performed Elvis’s “Jailhouse Rock”). Danny decided in lieu of doing a song showcasing his vocals, he would impress the audience with his flamboyant personality and dancing on stage and getting really into the music. He did it brilliantly! However, during his responses to Simon, it became ever-more apparent that he is openly gay, flamboyant, and proud of it. He never said he was gay, but his very feminine mannerisms and over-the-top head rolling were dead give aways. I LOVED that about him. I LOVE a man who can embrace his masculine AND his feminine side and feel proud of himself. I wish more of my own customers would have that kind of confidence. It annoys me so much when my customers sort of do this whiny voice and say things like, “Bbbut what if sssomeone… finds… out that I wear panties?” I mean, really. It bothers me when people are always questioning themselves as if being feminine is somehow wrong. A part of me wants to rolls my eyes when guys constantly look to me as if I must reassure them that what they love to do is ok. Fucking wear them. Ok? It’s ok and if someone has a problem with it, it’s their issue - not yours. Wearing panties is not a big deal, for either gender. I don’t care if someone is a man or a woman, you have to do what makes you comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable in your skin or in your clothes, then you’re going to look as uncomfortable to the outside world as an 800-lb. pregnant naked man trying to do a tightrope in a tutu. If something feels awkward, then don’t do it. I love Danny cause he’s fucking proud of himself and has confidence and charisma while identifying as (what I perceive to be) a gay or bisexual male.

After being introduced to Danny and his flamboyant nature, I curiously went to the forums at American Idol to see what other people thought of him. And fuck. It’s all negative. So many homophobic people in the world. What is the big fucking deal of someone being gay? This pisses me off so much. Why can’t people just ACCEPT one another regardless of their sexuality? What fucking difference does it make? Who fucking cares what gender someone likes? Does it make him worse as a performer if he’s gay?

One person wrote, “There are some gay men which really are great performers and talents… They don’t carry display their sexuality either… If this was american drag queen idol.. then a guy acting annoying and freaky would be ok… I want to see a guy sing.. I don’t want to be able to guess his sexual preference…”

That is possibly the most condescending thing a person could write. Danny is gay, not a drag queen. He wasn’t wearing makeup or female clothes. Where do these people get off writing this kind of stuff about a person? He said he wanted to see a guy sing, and he did. But he didn’t want to guess his sexual preference? What!? So when people watch heterosexual performers and they’re singing to members of the opposite sex, isn’t that guessing THEIR sexual preferences? What a dumb statement. Madonna is famously known for being multi-sexual and people are always talking about her sexual preference. It’s what MADE her.

Another person wrote, “I think he needs to take his pseudo “Panic at the Disco” haircut and his big girly pink lips and go home this week. And if you don’t want to be perceived as being gay, then don’t comment ON CAMERA on NETWORK TV in a homosexual sounding voice!”

Excuse me? A homosexual sounding voice? What exactly does THAT mean? A homosexual sounding voice? Oh I get it… everyone who is gay all sounds the same. *rolls eyes* If that were the case, people wouldn’t be hiding in the closet all the time and people would just automatically know. I’m a gay female, do I have a homosexual sounding voice? Come on now. Does my voice sound “gay”? Hell, most of my customers are men! Obviously my voice must come across as at LEAST bisexual because guys love the challenge of being with me. This just pisses me off cause it’s people like this who stereotype gay people and show how homophobic they truly are. It angers me because these hateful gay-haters are proud of their ignorance. It’s people like those above that made it difficult for me to come out of the closet. It was SO hard to come out to my family, and so many of them still won’t speak to me because they hate my lifestyle. And to know that even to this day, so many hateful comments like that are made. Telling someone they have a “homosexual sounding voice” is equivalent to telling someone they have a “black voice” or a “Jewish voice.” It’s rude and disrespectful.

And even worse, most of the comments about Danny online are so hateful, that it seems anyone who mentions his name gives him a gay-slur or say that he gives gay people a bad name. You know what? It’s about fucking time someone like Danny got on television. I’m so sick of homophobic people dissing gay people because of their flamboyancy or openness. It upsets me greatly that some folks can be so heartless, expecting gay people to transform into the heterosexual agenda for the task of pleasing the public.

Fuck the public. Be yourself.

I don’t think Danny is the world’s greatest singer by far. More than likely he won’t win. I doubt he’ll make the top 10. But for goodness sakes, I hope he stays on the show as long as possible, because someone somewhere is getting inspired by him and is realizing that he can persevere and be confident regardless of the hateful comments being thrown at him at every angle.

Homophobes can drink rat poison for all I care. Their bigotry and hatred is psychological murder. Eye for an eye.

*rant over*

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox