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Sex life, granted!

Published on July 31, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

This morning I have been converted to a down-the-middle bisexual. I’m not sure why I never embraced the word “bisexual” before. A part of me felt it was sitting on a fence and being indecisive. Holy shit. There’s so many fences I’d like to sit on because I can jump over it whenever I want! Since 2003 I’ve embraced lesbianism and, although I had some romantic interludes with men, being with women was the easier way I could really let loose and feel true arousal.

I’ve asked slave m permission to talk about what I’m about to say, and we both would like to extend a peek into our lives for the purpose of hoping it connects to people on a very deep level. All we ask for is understanding. He and I have been living together off and on for almost two years but up until now we’ve had a nonexistent sex life. If I wanted to arouse him, I would hypnotize him or dominate him with whips and chains. He loved it. But the physical sex simply wasn’t there. Sometimes it would be hard for ME to get aroused by him, like if he would try to lick my pussy, because I would get aggravated because it didn’t feel right and I didn’t know how to take my time and teach him to do the things I like. By the way, teaching someone how to lick pussy while getting aroused is much harder than it appears! It was frustrating so I just gave up. Many times he’d walk away sad or disappointed because he felt he wasn’t pleasing me to the best of his abilities. It took me a while to embrace the idea that it was my RESPONSIBILITY to teach him and if I choose not to, then that’s my fault. Last night he licked my pussy on the kitchen floor after I hypnotized him which led to me cumming three floor-mopping times. He walked away feeling proud, a new man. Glowing with confidence. Then of course I gave him incentive to do it again in the future by reminding him that my world record is cumming 100 times within 2 hours. Now he has something to shoot for. Gotta have goals! While he went down on me, I did my very best to direct him. I guided him through the process of licking me the way I wanted to be licked. I explained how I like my clit sucked super hard but not too hard and when to lick softly and when to add more pressure. His eagerness to please me is so impressive that I want to reward him every minute. I remind him every day how happy I am that we’re together. I get goose bumps just remembering that he made me orgasm with his mouth for the first time - ever! Now I can’t wait to have his buried between my legs again. Hotness!!!

What I’m about to say might sound “crazy” to some and may land me in the hospital again, but I’ll say it anyway. I channeled Source/God into my hand while slave m slept (two nights ago) and allowed healing to flow from my hand into m’s cock. Many men, including slave m, struggle with erectile dysfunction and sometimes even impotence. He didn’t always used to have the problem. He used to brag about how good he was in bed, which is one of the things that appealed to me before we met. However right before he moved in, his testosterone levels began to decrease at a dangerously rapid pace which was causing a hormonal imbalance. For him it was embarrassing and he didn’t want to tell people about it. He started growing breasts (which he covers by wearing thick shirts), his voice became more soft and girly, his handwriting was super swirly and feminine, and many of his mannerisms were classic girl-like. For me, I felt a good way to ease his comfort would be to help him embrace feminization so he would embrace his fears of being humiliated for this problem. Sometimes I’d make fun of him just to prove to him how sexy it could be to be treated like a girl. He would get hard as a rock when I would dress him in panties or humiliate him. But most of the time I’d be sad when I’d want to be fucked and he’d have difficulty maintaining an erection. Viagara didn’t work. It was psychological and we both knew this. The night before I got admitted into the hospital, when I was “God,” I got the grand idea to balance our homonal levels. With my hand on his pituitary gland and then on his abdomen, I transferred my extra levels of testosterone into his body and transferred his extra estrogen into mine. Until that point, I always felt more masculine than feminine. He always felt more feminine than masculine. With the help of magic, we became balanced. We both felt the transfer and it had real energy behind it. He woke up out of his sleep and said, “I felt that!”

Last night (or was it the night before), I channeled God through my hand and concentrated on increasing his blood flow to his penis so that he could maintain erections for a longer period of time. His cock instantly got hard and STAYED hard and I wasn’t even arousing it. I only had one finger touching him and it wasn’t even moving. His cock must have stayed erect for at least an hour while he slept. (Which by the way, I seem to channel God the most when I’m sleeping so all this happened while we were in bed.) I told him that within 7 days his body would function normally again. I hypnotized him while he slept and watched his eyes twitch under his eyelids, which let me know his subconscious mind was listening.

This morning I wanted to test his cock out and make him my guinea pig. After I woke up from a beautiful dream and rolled over, there he was… sleeping like a baby. Out of curiousity, my eyes wandered down to his boxer shorts and there was his cock, hard as a rock. It was the first time I’d ever seen him sleeping with a boner. And it even appeared to have GROWN! My first instinct was, “Feel it. Touch it. Take it.” I just had to see how it would work!

I started sucking on his cock, which I had never done while he was waking up (in fact, yesterday was the first time I’d ever given him a blowjob before which blew his mind). His whole body responded to my mouth which made my pussy wet. I didn’t even care whether or not he was sleeping or awake. I just wanted to feel him hard in my mouth since an erection was a new experience for both of us. While sucking it, it started to get even bigger! It shocked the hell out of me. I thought it was as hard and as big as it was going to get! Then all of a sudden he woke up and realized what I was doing and he looked like a kid at Christmas when he realizes all the presents are for him. His deer-in-headlight eyes widened almost as much as his mouth did. I love seeing him shocked with happiness! We kissed, we touched. Then I told him I wanted to ride his big black cock, and boy did I mean it. In the past, this had been unsuccessful. His cock would eagerly get hard but then after a minute it would lay down and go to sleep even if psychologically he wanted it hard. This prevented me, before, from increasing my desire to have sex with him. He desperately wanted to give me an orgasm with his cock but the more we tried, the harder it became.

The night before I was hospitalized, I channeled Jesus into my body and decided to be a martyr for sex the way he was a martyr for violence. Slave m was having sex with me but his cock was limp and falling out and the whole time, I was screaming, “Yes! Fuck me!” And I was screaming so loud it could have awakened the whole neighborhood. For nearly thirty minutes, I magically “felt” his cock even though it wasn’t technically inside me. Slave m said I exhibited animal-like behavior. After that, I really can’t recall too much.

While I was hospitalized for “hallucinating I was God,” our bodies learned to heal. I even learned the art of forgiveness. It was a beautiful experience to finally TRULY forgive my mom, who I felt violently abused me physically and emotionally when I was a child. Now I love her so much that I’ll do anything for her. There are an infinite amount of methods a person can use to raise their children which avoid violence, however my mom was only aware of one way. I realized she did the best she could and she was only obeying what she thought was right. As far as slave m, he learned the art of removing guilt and sadness, which increased his inner confidence. For years, he’d feel guilty for everything, even if it wasn’t his fault. And I had deep-seeded vengeance in my heart because of my mom which is one reason why I secretly loved beating people. It was my therapeutic way of releasing my anger without actually allowing myself to be angry. That is healed now. For both of us. And I wanted to reward both of us by having sensational sex!

I crawled on top of him and before I put his cock in my pussy, I said things to him which let him know I love him. I told him I’d do anything for him, that I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him now. That I didn’t know love before. That I see it now. The look on his face was the warmest, most beautiful look I think I’d ever seen from him. We made love. It started off slow and gentle and then built up with such momentum he rolled me over and fucked me doggy style really hard. I came. I orgasmed. I screamed. His cock pounded my uterus. Most of the time I couldn’t even force my eyes open because there was no choice but to surrender to the pain of the pleasure of the pounding! It was impossible to “fake it” because there was wetness all over the sheets and every time he rammed me, his cock would break me open a little bit more. So THAT’S what an orgasm feels like with a cock inside me! Ok, here’s my just-in press release. Penises are now officially hot! It was the first time we both actually, truly, had sex from foreplay to orgasm without interruption. It was orgasmic! It defied my wildest dream! Insert a thousand superlatives here! I loved screaming and telling him how big his cock was in my pussy. If penises are meant to hurt, then I’m a masochist. I could tell he loved hearing me scream, because the harder I screamed, the deeper he’d thrust. And it turned me on even more watching him grow more confident. Hearing him grunt, listening to the slapping of skin. Hot. I’m so grateful I learned how to trust people. The reward was orgasm.

Most memorably, was being able to listen to how fast his heart was beating, feel his sweaty black body against mine, and hear him out of breath when we finally collapsed from sheer exhaustion. We snuggled, we kissed. We got the “real” experience. He’s the only cock I’ve had inside me for 2 years so I was tighter than a virgin. *DEW!!!!* Just talking about this makes me so happy! I had sex! I had sex! I had sex! I wanna scream it from a rooftop! I wanna have it again!

Today I’m proud to say our sex life has turned extraordinary. I can’t wait to fuck him again when he reads this journal entry and realizes I’m gonna relinquish his cock with another treat. By the way, I’ve been off meds for two days now. All the stuff I’ve been feeling is genuine and real, without prescriptions added. Source must have desired this too because it felt as though God was masturbating while watching us fuck each other’s brains out like virgin teenagers! *SEXY Grrrrrrooowllllll* Let’s all fuck for God! She can enjoy porn too!

By the way, my friend Kay emailed me a humble suggestion (THANK YOU!) to handwrite slave m a letter and tell him how much he means to me. After he read my letter, he almost cried and said he’d never read anything so beautiful before and he put it in a safe place to keep it. We ended up necking and making out on the staircase for about an hour just telling each other beautiful things. It was a fantastic suggestion!

I would love to hear what other people have done to spice up their sex lives and what helped bring new life into the romantic aspect of it. Sometimes just a compliment is all it takes. Please, if you read this, will you share one of your favorite things to do to make someone feel good? I can’t wait to implement your ideas!

Love
Isabella
xooxoxo

Can there be intimacy in porn?

Published on May 14, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

Perhaps what I’m about to say isn’t a shared opinion. And perhaps it might even upset some people in the adult web cam industry. My goal is to express my experience and not to undermine anyone’s work ethic. So before I begin discussing the topic at hand, I’d like to preface this by saying I have many (real life) friends who work successfully and diligently in the adult industry working their webcams and of COURSE there will ALWAYS be exceptions to the rule. Here is what happened last night.

Ok. So as you may know, I’ve been out of state for the last week staying at a family member’s house. With all the lack of privacy and lack of time, I absolutely did not masturbate during the vacation. For me, that’s a long time! I’m used to masturbating maybe once per day or at LEAST once every two days. So for me to go nearly a week was mentally exhausting. When I got home, my roommate Jenni was packing her suitcase for a vacation to Maryland… so naturally, a lightbulb goes off and I think, “Yay I get the house to myself! I can masturbate and orgasm as loud as I want!”

So night time comes. I am alone in the house. I go online browsing for internet porn. This time I wanted something different than the usual dominant woman whipping a submissive girl. Variety is important or else I’ll get bored. This time I wanted to watch a girl on webcam. I just wanted to see her stripteasing and flirting into the camera as if I were in a stripclub. A girl who smiles, looks like the girl next door, and who likes to tease. Not hard, right? Since I knew what I wanted, now I had to figure out where to go.

I could have picked Niteflirt, because it’s where I work. But I opted against it because I’d hate to put a girl in a strange position to feel obligated to put on a show for one of her coworkers. Sometimes girls get pesky on Niteflirt if they think “competition” is watching them. And yes, I do have a separate screen name on Niteflirt for the very sole purpose of masturbating and getting off to girls. Most of the time they have no clue it’s me unless I just tell them. If I think even for a moment that a webcam girl on Niteflirt is intimidated by me (and most won’t admit it, but often times they are), I won’t pay for her services. When I’m in masturbation-mode, the last thing I want to do is “check out competition,” and instead just wanna get my nut off.

So I went to an unfamiliar adult cam website, which I’ll leave nameless. If you’re desperate to know the name, email me (not through Niteflirt) and I’ll tell you. The girls were pretty and beautiful, as are many camgirls in the industry. They even had a free chat you could have before hand with the girls. The girls wouldn’t really type back, but they would look all cute and pretty in the preview video screen. I went from one girl’s video preview screen to another… looking for someone who, frankly, didn’t appear bored out of her mind. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that it is impossible to be in a hot, horny, happy mood 24 hours a day. I’m well familiar with this adult industry and was a phone sex operator for many years before becoming a hypnotist. I know a lot of the attitudes are “put on” to make the customer feel happy, and that was ok with me. I didn’t need genuine “hot and horny” from a girl. But I at LEAST wanted her to pretend she was hot for me. Was that too much to ask? Couldn’t a girl just pretend to be excited to see a paying customer?

So I gave a girl a try. She looked adorable in the preview screen. It was a pay-per-minute deal, and I had about an hour’s worth of credits. The minute she comes on, she strips completely naked (absolutely no teasing involved at all) and begins going through the motions like a robot. And I stopped her and explained what I wanted. I told her it would turn me on if she took her time and stripteased her clothes like a stripper. Where she’ll show a breast, then cover it up. Show her ass, then play hard to get. And I also know that it’s important for ME to be just as vocal about what *I* want so that she’s not left playing a guessing game. She immediately got redressed and then sat there like an idiot. She rubbed the same spot on her panties the whole time without moving her legs, her arms, nothing. It was like watching the Twilight Zone on crack. She was a zombie. I left. I wanted someone else.

Girl number two. Hot, cute, wore glasses. Million dollar smile. Very very very cute. I figured if she wears glasses maybe she’s intelligent and can give me lots of eye contact which is very hot, especially in a stripclub. I paid for a private show and we began. I described what I wanted but she seemed confused. Finally she just asked if she wanted me to zoom in on her face and I said sure. So the duration of the time, she either put a dildo or her finger in her mouth and sucked on it. I did not want to pay by the minute to watch a girl sucking on something. Again I spoke up and told her what I wanted: a striptease. That’s all I had been trying to get. Nothing. She kept sucking her finger like a baby. I left.

Maybe third time would be a charm. Third girl. At this point I didn’t even care if I got a striptease. I just wanted to get aroused. Until this point, I wasn’t even slightly aroused. Those who know me can testify that even mundane things like leaves, trees, and carpet can sexually excite me. Come on ladies, I’m easy to arouse. Honest. I got money to spend, take your time. Let’s do this. So this other girl comes on, she actually begins doing a striptease without me even asking. Wow. How hot. Perfect body. Instant clit boner. Fucking hot. About ten minutes go by, she’s been doing lots of eye contact into the camera, touching her body, etc… and then…. she ruined my nut. She began typing on the computer. At first I thought she was typing to me and there must have been a delay. Nope. She continued to type and type and type to people. Apparently I wasn’t the only one watching this so-called “private show.”

Sorry, but I absolutely cannot get off watching a girl type on her keyboard to another “customer.” It ruined the fantasy of thinking that, temporarily, she was really interested in me. I left.

Fuck it.

So I did the unthinkable. I masturbated looking at a photo of myself. It worked. It was better than getting laid. Looking directly into my own eyes, I established intimacy. And because it was a self-portrait, I knew what I was thinking at the time and it was genuine arousal. And because it ME, what’s not to like but yourself? It’s not the first time I’ve masturbated to my picture, video, or voice… and certainly won’t be the last. After last night, I can only assume I’ll want to display more things worth wacking off too, at least for me.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoxo

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Un Sueno Sexual

Published on May 3, 2008 in Journal posts. 3 Comments

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Un Sueño Sexual

Isabella Valentine Spanish Erotic Hypnosis MP3

This 2-girl romantic erotic hypnosis recording is designed for those who appreciate the hypnotic language of love. You may agree with me when I say that it is incredibly hot when two languages are spoken, when both talking about sex, love, and intimacy. For years, I envisioned creating an mp3 like this, so finally completing this is a dream come true. I do hope it appeals to you on a deep, unconscious level to stimulate not only your body, but your mind as well. This bilingual mp3 is spoken in English and translated in Spanish for a truly mind-altering experience. You may recognize the voice of my friend, Jenna, translating my words into Spanish.

Fall into a spiral of colors, blending into the shape of love and connection, whirling and swimming in hypnotic ecstacy… as if you’re sleeping on clouds, and then falling deeper into a tunnel that leads you into the long-awaited… nothingness.

Be sexually and spiritually aroused by a romantic Spanish guitar strumming elegant strings, Rumi-inspired hypnotic poetry, and the romanticism of Español, overlapping with whispered English, flavored words that weave into one another until it need not matter which language is deepening your trance.

Allow yourself to be pulled into trance by pretty, feminine voices that arouse and entice you. This is recording was designed to be gender-neutral, which means men and women can equally achieve trance and orgasm.

Fetishes Include:
Erotic hypnosis, romanticism, bilingual, English, Spanish, erotic triggers, hypnotic deepeners, orgasm command, love and addiction, creative visualizations, spirals, patterns, tunnels, love fetish, beauty, connection, intimacy, and erotic flirtation and teasing.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: Yes
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: Yes
Overdubbing Vocals: Yes
Length: 46 minutes
Zip File Size: Approx. 43 MB
Price: $35.00

Buy Now

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Yes, Goddess

Published on April 23, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

Erotic Hypnosis Recording mp3

Erotic Hypnosis MP3: Yes, Goddess

In this special erotic hypnosis recording, Isabella Valentine hypnotizes her roommate, Jenna, to be Her lesbian submissive slavegirl.

Isabella commands Jenna to obey Her in real life everyday, while at the same time arousing her, denying her, and teasing her.

If you consider yourself a voyeur and enjoy female-on-female hypnosis, then you may find this mp3 to be incredibly arousing! This session is also great for those who want to feel the arousing, erotic triggers work on them, although they were designed for Jenna. For those who take special appreciation in candid erotic material, this is a real time recording and was performed in one take without editing or sound effects.

Recording includes:
Erotic hypnosis, femdom hypnosis, domination and submission, power exchange, pain and pleasure, lesbianism, girl-on-girl, tease and denial, erotic triggers, orgasm, post-hypnotic suggestions, real life slavery and submission training.

Note: Here are photos of Isabella and Jenna together. If this recording is a success, we will create more of these in the future and possibly videos too.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: No
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: No
Overdubbing Vocals: No
Length: 32 minutes
Zip File Size: Approx. 28 MB
Price: $35.00

Buy Now

Orgasmic energy

Published on March 10, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

Every Saturday night (for the last 2 months or so) I’ve been hanging out with my friends for a beautiful, energetic get-together in which we call “Next Saturday.” It’s called Next Saturday because we like the idea of Saturday continuing to infinity and beyond. It’s every Saturday, not every other… however, the title sort of explains our obsession with infinite possibilities.

Some Next Saturdays are more intense than others, and last night was beyond phenomenal. Last night was one of the most… amazing… sexy… spiritual, and orgasmic experiences of my life. I’m running out of adjectives and those don’t even do it justice. I suppose it could have been described as cerebral, considering I became very intimate with the scientific theories of Stephen Hawking… I suppose it even could have been described as somewhat hilarious, considering I couldn’t stop laughing at the silliest of things, and my body would react to every word said to me. Words cannot express what I experienced and how it has impacted me. I spent who-knows-how many hours convulsing in these shockwaves of unexplained orgasmic pleasure. It was like I could see this white ball of light above my forehead and my muscles would spasm uncontrollably as the light would become more and more intense. My stomach, this morning, is surprisingly sore. It feels like I’ve done 5000 situps, which I kind of did, due to those energy spasms. I remember visualizing an electric ball of burning light on the edge of my fingertips and it became so intense that when my fingers touched another person, I would feel these shocks (I remember feeling shocks very similar to static) within my body and it would shoot out of me from my stomach to the top of my head. I’m feeling a little dizzy today… but ohhh so good. It had NEVER felt so wonderful feeling hands on my body. Men… women… genderless love. It was a spiritually humbling experience to interact with their hands… loving… tender hands… filled with galvanizing energy. I touched the “connection to source” so strong, that the muscles in my body would immediately react to each and every feeling around me. I felt love in a completely new way. I’ve felt this before… but last night… it became quite more intense. I must say… I don’t recall ever orgasming for that many people as they watched me. I literally had no control. Oh I fucking loved it. I wanna do it again. *melts* I am in heaven. Don’t pinch me. Leave me here. I’ve never felt so at peace.

There were moments that left me thinking about knowledge. At what point does a person learn all they need to learn in life? Just how many of US are there in the universe who all think and learn the same things and what happens when we all apply the knowledge differently to experience oneness? Is oneness different for each person, or is there a universal conversation in which once you fall into it, you begin to spin, turn, and feel held by billions of energetic entities. I felt as if I was flowing with a universal presence, being pulled into a giant spiral of golden white light representing oneness. It had the force of a black hole as it sucked me into it… and yet… had the gentleness of the softest lips, whispers, touches. I was touched so deeply last night… physically, mentally, spiritually. I absolutely CANNOT for the life of me imagine ANYTHING stronger or more powerful than the experience of undeniable infinity that I experienced last night. I learned that a person cannot have “too much love” and therefore abundance of positivity can only be intensified with the right people. I know it sounds SO weird to say this, but I feel like I’ve pre-met all my friends. That somehow I met them in the future, to tell them to meet me in the past… and they’re all here in the present. It’s like I created them to know me. I feel as though on some cosmic level, I’m learning how to work with magic and manifestation to really make things happen to completion. Last night… and this is what was so amazing to me… I feel as though I finally manifested the spiritual oneness I always envisioned.

On another note… there’s something else I’ve been secretly wanting to experience. Suppose it won’t be secret anymore as I type this out. I’m drawn to the idea of being in love with and having sex a woman (no big surprise there) who feels a deep connection with me. The catch is… I want a man who loves and/or admires both of us to be in the bed with us. I haven’t pictured myself having sex with him in my dreams, but I love the idea of being held by him while watching her fuck him while she looks at me. I can’t explain it. Last night, when I experienced the genderless oneness experience, I somehow found the ball of light that separates men from women… and in a cognitive sense, it felt as if I was spinning in and out of the ball and so many genders were shooting out from all ends of it like rays of light. I sound like a crazy person, I know. But for me… this was very real and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

By the way, if any of you saw the free video blog to “Party with Isabella” then you may recall seeing some of my Next Saturday friends within the video (with their permission of course). We try to keep fairly private with what we do during these parties, so it really depends on people’s personal preferences whether or not a video camera is introduced during our play. I’ll ask and see if any of them would be willing to be filmed on video (or at least hold the camera) so you could see what goes on during our unpredictable time.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox