So this is what love feels like. It feels like surrender. I don’t think I’ve ever… in my entire adult life… surrendered to another human being like this. And I love it.

A part of me wants to write really sappy things, but actions speak louder than words. Over the course of our relationship, I’ve invested my time and energy into sharing a part of myself in ways I never have to anyone before. I got Xaenith a cool black Fender guitar… and he wrote me a song and serenaded me with it. He plays beautifully, and I’ve had a guitar fetish for as long as I can remember (piano too). I also got him a cool psychedelic guitar pick which has a string around it for wearing around the neck, which he wears every day. It’s a constant visual reminder of our budding relationship. He drew an awesome dragon phoenix (a symbol of the dragon-bird tattoo on his arm), and gave it to me as a gift, which I placed on my pagan altar in the Lea~Koa room. For the past week or so, I’ve been creating him a staff (which I just finished). It was initially a long, tall, thick tree branch he found in my backyard and over time, I sanded it down, painted it, then coated it with several coats of polyurethane. It looks so cool now! I’m tempted to share a photo of it, but I think I’ll wait until he comes back over and take a picture of him holding it. He loved it so much… and just seeing his appreciation for the time that went into it was totally worth it.

I must admit, I’m feeling particularly cautious talking about our relationship in this public journal just for the reason that… in the past… talking about my relationships tended to lead to customers either getting jealous or envious and/or feeling less connected to me (which blows my mind because when I feel love, it makes my recordings that much more impressive). My impression is that if I’m in love, some customers will no longer feel they “have a chance” with me, and therefore leave. I certainly hope that’s not the case, because my search for love has been a lifelong process and the struggles have been so vast that even the smallest ounce of success outweighs it all. Words cannot describe the feelings that have devoured me. The only reason I choose to disclose what’s going on in my personal life in this way… is because… this is why people read my journal. Some people actually get closer to me when they know what’s going on. If I feel any subject matter is too private, I’ll post it in my other, more private blog - which he is totally ok with. In the meantime, I hope that any posts I make regarding this relationship will bring me closer to all of you, which is my goal in doing so. If all I had was success, I’d be boring. When it comes to love, it’s been a roller coaster ride, often with lots of falls and dips. I think many people can identify with the longing, the waiting, the searching, and the strategies involved in the finding and strengthening a love relationship.

Things I like about us:
We both like to perform magic spells
We both like to wear punk goth stuff and have fascinations for skulls, dragons, video games.
We both embrace the dark side as well as the white side.
We both have tattoos in the same places
We both enjoy guitar, heavy metal, music, and even soft new age world music
We both have the same mutual friends and have hung out every week since December
We are telepathically and psychically in tune with one another
We are both sculpting our bodies and fine tuning them
We both love shamanism, healing, and hypnosis
We smoke the same type of American Spirit cigarettes
We both enjoy intimate cuddling and observing the universe’s connections
We both know how important communication is, and strive to ALWAYS communicate
We trust each other on a level that surprises both of us
We both love dragons, spirit animals, and exotic entities
We love and know the same people who love us back
We both love each other and have the same vision of our relationship
We both have excellent reputations - in and out of the bedroom
We embrace each other’s differences and similarities
We learn from each other’s strengths to fortify our weaknesses
We both think we’re hot and have a high level of confidence without being pompous or arrogant
We both think girls are incredibly hot and sexy
We both think boys can be hot, given it’s the right kind of rare man
We’re mutually equal to one another

…. I could go on forever, but those things, mentioned above, really matter to me.

Ironically, we haven’t even kissed yet. It only increases the energy between us. On multiple occasions, our lips have been an inch away and instead of kissing, we fucked with our eyes. Heaven.

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx

P.S. We had an enlightening discussion last night about how he definitely wants to jump off the skyscraper with me (in a sexual way), and can’t wait to be the first guy I’ve been with in years. In the meantime, he still wants to mix the mud, to make the bricks, to make the foundation first. We have the same vision, which is awesome… I am no longer in a hurry to jump because it’s so much fun mixing the foundation. I love the way we tease each other, as part of the buildup. All I needed to know is that we were seeing the same skyscraper as part of our vision, and WOW we totally agree. In fact, he totally envisions us, within a year from now when our bodies are sculpted precisely how we crafted them, as being a power couple. Our lights are already shining, but a year from now, we could power a whole neighborhood. That’s so hot.

Here’s a photo taken last night in the Lea~Koa room: