Several more paddles and canes arrived this week, 1 thin rattan cane, 3 various-sizes rattan and tweed paddles, a thick-ended black leather riding crop (longer strap at end then most), and one is a thick metal paddle with holes in it. Problem is, I don’t have anyone to try them out on. Anyone wanna be beaten? hehe… I can whip for a looong time and never get tired. I’m still waiting on one particular paddle which has sandpaper on one end and some sort of prickly thing on the other end. I may have to modify it when I get it to make it a little more intense. And last week some softer faux rabbit fur whips arrived along with a cool pink/black flogger a customer bought me that has some leather straps mixed with faux pink fur - which is great for flogging people who are new to the experience. Today I received a Sephora paddle brush from a customer as a gift which I LOVE because instead of using it for my hair, I’ve put it with all the other whips and stuff. I can’t wait to bend someone over my lap with it and spank them while their legs are kicking and they’re moving all over the place.

There’s something sooo erotic to me about seeing someone in pain. I love the look on their faces when they have tears coming down their cheeks. I love seeing a bare bottom (females are sexier of course, but male butts are ok) when it has red lashes, marks, bruises, and sometimes even a hint of blood where I see how willing they were to take the pain I’ve dished out. I love hearing someone out of breath while in pain as they say, “One, Miss Isabella… Two, Miss Isabella… Three, Miss Isabella…” and they’re in such agony from the blows that they sometimes hesitate to count (or lose count altogether). But of course, if they lose count, I start all over from scratch. It’s an immense turn-on for me when someone’s bare bottom twitches and he/she tries to tighten their cheeks but I smack them again before they get the chance to. Or tying them up and spreading their legs so they’re in a position bent over that prevents them from closing their legs so they feel the pain even more. It’s human nature to want to close one’s legs when they’re getting spanked, so I find it arousing to deny the person from the relief of having their thighs together.

Perhaps the reason I love spanking people so much is because my mom beat the shit out of me when I was a kid and I somehow get off on getting back at the world. But one thing I don’t do… is hit out of anger. I may be very sadistic and enjoy seeing others in pain, but I always do it when I’m in a calm and rational state of mind. Besides, if I get really mad, I just hit my punching bag downstairs and I feel all better. I’m not sure how many people know this (to me it’s pretty obvious), but often I enjoy spanking, flogging, whipping, strapping more than I do sex. Don’t get me wrong. I love having someone licking my pussy, but I get off so much more when I have a striking instrument in my hand. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest - spanking is a 10. Sex is a 9 or 9.5.

I often debate the phrase, “safe, sane, consensual” — because I’ve always thought all of us have some level of insanity within us. I have yet to meet an individual who is completely sane. And besides, if someone is “normal” and “sane” then I sort of assume the person is more on the vanilla side. After all, what sane person wants to be suspended up in the air and beaten upside down with a nettles plant? (And there are people who do!) Speaking of nettles, that’s some pretty scary stuff. I’ve masturbated to some of that on the OWK where people were tortured with nettles, but I’m not so sure I’d want to be the one inflicting the pain with that. If it touches me, I’ll be screaming just like them. That’s pretty extreme and I haven’t met anyone personally who likes it cause it’s so obscure.

Instead of safe, sane, consensual (also known as ssc), I like this better:

Legal, no permanent body damage, kinky and rational, and if you don’t consent, then leave.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in torturing people (I am extremely against that not only on a personal level but on a global level) and I certainly don’t believe in holding people against their will. However, what I say goes. If someone thinks I’m too extreme or pushing them to the edge (which I love to do), then they know where the door is. The word “safe” is kind of weird for me. I understand the intention behind it and I agree to an extent. If the word “safe” implies boundaries, then I can agree. However if the word “safe” implies that I’ll never dangerously brainwash you, then I’m guilty. But it’s only cause I know the person likes it. Speaking of safe words, the only time I’ve had a submissive/slave use a safe word with me has been at play parties because I usually don’t know the person and aren’t familiar with their tolerance level. But none of My personal subs or slaves has ever used a safe word with me. For their protection, I set safety words in place and will comply fully, but I’m very good at reading a person’s body language and usually know how far they can withstand the pain and push them to the brink of what they can stomach. Is it safe? Technically, yes. Is brainwashing safe? Well, that’s a whole different journal entry. If safety is the opposite of danger, would you agree that we all do things with some element of danger? Danger can be fun, right? Is it safe to hang upside down? It is safe to bungee jump? Is it safe to jump out of a helicopter? Is it safe to keep George W in office while we lose $270 million a day? Is it safe to streak naked outside? It all depends on who you ask. We all have different responses to different situations.

People sometimes fail to understand me or where I’m coming from. I don’t blame them really. I’m a complex person with many sides of me who equally fight for attention. Sometimes I say things that, at times, can be oxymorons to my own beliefs - or worse, sometimes my beliefs conflict with other beliefs. For instance, how can I be a human rights activist and be anti-torture… but I love tying people up and whipping them with huge amounts of pain? Sure, the latter is consensual. But what if the person is screaming “stop, please that hurts” (not the safe word) — that usually just turns me on more and I keep going (in fact, sometimes I command the person to say those types of things to me cause it really turns me on). Yeah. That’s a pretty contradicting belief, isn’t it?

But yeah, I get off on pain. In fact, sometimes when I watch porn, sometimes I don’t even care what’s going on in the video. I just shut my eyes and listen. I’m more auditory than visual/kinesthetic and really love to hear the pain. The gasps of breath. The agony. The hesitation before the scream. The yells that sometimes happen before the strike if the Domme pretends to wack them.

I dream of the day I have someone chained, locked up, and tied for extended periods of time who I can just beat at a moment’s notice - with or without reason, and them let them down when I want my pussy licked. Of course, in my head, that’s the perfect scenario… but I kinda like a slave I can talk to and have fun with as well. After all, I’m looking for a slave, not a punching bag. It’s nice to have someone with whom I can show my affection. It’s all about a mutual bond.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoxo