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Diet and weight progress

Published on April 30, 2008 in Journal posts. 4 Comments

My weight has been a topic of frustration for me since the day I became vegan and discontinued the Jenny Craig program. My intention was to be strictly vegan because, frankly, the idea of eating any animal products sickens me after I became educated with what happens during the pre-packaging process. For years, I had been in my own ignorant bliss and actually liked not knowing what happened to the animals. In my head, as long as I wasn’t educated about it, I wasn’t actually doing anything wrong by eating meat and dairy products. That was my story and I stuck to it. Well… until around December. That’s when I became vegan. Up until that point, I had lost a ridiculous amount of weight (100 pounds) with the help of hypnosis, Jenny Craig, and proper exercise. The problem for me then became… how can I lose the weight without Jenny Craig (who mostly offers meat in their lunches and dinners)? Sure, hypnosis can take people pretty damn far. I’m living proof. But Everyone knows you need the MIND + THE RIGHT FOOD + EXERCISE. I already have the mind + exercise down. It’s the “right food” that’s killing me.

I haven’t lost any pounds since September. In fact, I had plateaued for almost 6 months. Then in this month (April), I actually gained 15 pounds (and no, it wasn’t muscle). Can you believe it? I gained. And this was all while I was consciously watching my eating portions, went for semi-daily walks, and had lots of mind motivation. So instead of losing 100 pounds… it’s as if I’ve only lost 85 pounds.

This frustrated me, and lit a fire under my ass quicker than you can say, “cheese.”

After much self-conflict, I decided to try Nutri-System because they have a vegetarian program that I can follow. Becoming vegetarian, essentially, would mean eating dairy products again. A huge part of me does NOT want to do this (for my love of animals). But the other part of me is begging to do this (because I love myself). My love for myself won. Today, my Nutri-System food came in… enough for a full month. Today is my first day on the program. Officially I’m a vegetarian, not a vegan. Mark my words: once I get to my goal weight and am able to maintain it, I have every intention of becoming vegan again. I enjoyed that eating lifestyle very much and felt sooo good doing it.

So now that I’m on NS, I am confident that this will be the much-needed push to get me over the roller-coaster hump and push me downhill. I have about 115 pounds to lose. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted over time for those that have been following my weight reduction over the past year and a half. I can just *FEEL* that this program is going to catapult me right where I should be. This is the exact same feeling I got when I walked into Jenny Craig for the first time and just *knew* they could help. And they did. They helped save my life.

In the meantime, here is a photo of my back. Someone requested I show a zoomed in shot of my tattoos so they could see more detail work. Here you go!

P.S. I’m considering getting a scorpion (or other scorpio symbol) tattooed underneath Marilyn.

So are the days of our lives

Published on February 7, 2008 in Journal posts. 1 Comment

Instead of writing a bunch of paragraphs, I thought it would be more time efficient (this time) to simply bullet the stuff going on right now.

Stuff:
* I’ve been reading a lot of Rumi’s poetry, find it very uplifting
* Trying to understand more about chakras, bought a few books - hoping it will shed some light
* Saving up for two trips: Las Vegas (March or April to visit friends and do real estate hunting) and Idaho (May - to visit my aunt and family)
* Been playing “Fable” on Xbox and am a level 4 barbarian (evil) who just got in one of the demon doors (finally)
* Got to experience the Wii (I think the game was Mario Party) with some friends at my place for the first time (neat device!)
* New mail arrived: 30 new and used books and dvds from half.com - I love how inexpensive the stuff is! Book topics range from: Male-female gender sexuality, new age energy, computer stuff and seo books, and a ton of new stuff.
* Between 5am-7am when I’m still awake from the night before… I find it’s too late at night for soft porn movies on Skinemax and too early for sexy-clad feminine heroes on tv shows, I find that I masturbate quite well to aerobics and weight loss infommercials. Nothing screams motivation and sex than some hottie in spandex shorts squatting and doing splits, while telling the world she lost over a hundred pounds.

Challenges:
* Trying to find a perfect keychain with no luck. I want something that resembles: goddess, hypnotist, lesbian, vegan/animal-lover, oneness/new age. If possible, I’d like one custom made but am unsure how to go about doing so. I’m a bit aggravated that my current keychain still says “Chevrolet” from the key they give you at the car dealership. I’ve often heard it said that you can tell a lot about a person by their keychains. I need help in this department. Any advice would be much appreciated (or even better if you are great at crafting metal and making a design! - wishful thinking).

* Maintaining a vegan diet is a bit frustrating because I’m craving *real* cheese (and sometimes eggs too) like crazy. My favorite vegan cheese is being discontinued and I’m savoring it while I can, but I miss colby cheese. Believe it or not, I have dreams almost nightly where I imagine myself eating a cheddar cheese omelet. I can almost picture it melting in my mouth and I get this incredible orgasm. Sometimes I rub my pussy with a vibrator and imagine eating a cheese omelet and get soooo incredibly wet. There are 0% meat cravings. I actually get nauseas just smelling meat (and many times just looking at it). Without trying to sound gross, looking at meat at a grocery store actually reminds me of a human slaughterhouse out of a horror movie.

* If you hate radical animal-rights activists, then you’re going to hate me for saying this. I’m fucking annoyed that in the video game “Fable” (which I love), there are options where you can kick a chicken as hard as you can. The object is to score a 10. I kicked one on accident and scored a 4 and was shocked. What kind of world do we live in where even in video games - people are encouraged to abuse animals? It was sickening. Even the sound of the chicken being kicked made me want to hurl. I actually got so upset that I turned my video game character “evil” instead of “good” early in the game and went around beating up the children, killing the guards, and became quite the serial killer. That’s what people get for kicking the chicken. As far as I’m concerned (in video game lingo) - all those motherfucking humans can die. Save the animals! On another note, it did get rid of a lot of built-up aggression. It wasn’t quite as great a relief as boxing the bag in the basement or punching someone in real life, but still - a nice alternative.

Yeah - I life a pretty simple life, huh?

It still surprises me that people continually say, “I’ve been following your journal for x amount of years!” And my first instinct, although I don’t say it aloud, is usually, “Why? (Specifically)…”

Vietnamese food

Published on January 3, 2008 in Journal posts. 0 Comments

On the corner of 48th and 8th in Times Square, I fell in love with an amazing Vietnamese restaurant that served amazing food. I wish I remembered the name of it. At one point there were wet dreams where I imagined I owned the entire restaurant just so it would follow my travels. Best testing food I think I’ve ever tasted - and of course, knowing the meals were vegan made it even better. I think I came in my panties eating their tofu steak and vegetable soup. My goodness. Hotness.

Isabella Valentine eats Vietnamese food

Continue reading ‘Vietnamese food’

Day 10

Published on December 8, 2007 in Journal posts. 2 Comments

This is successful Day #10 of Vegan eating lifestyle. I doubt anyone reading my journal is counting the days, but I am. According to the writers of “Skinny Bitch” - if I can get through the first 28 days of this without going out of my mind, then I can do this easily for the rest of my life. So I’m giving it my best shot, which I WANT to do and WILL DO.

The only thing that SUCKS ASS about this new way of eating is that I’ve now gained 7 pounds (in just 10 days!!!!). NOT COOL. My total body fat percentage went up 2%. (Up two WHOLE percentage points in just 10 days!) My water weight is the same. I’m frustrated that I’ve no longer lost 100 pounds, and I’m back in the 90s. I called Jenny Craig today to schedule a consultation so they can help me figure out the proper amount of starches, fats, “meats” (substitutes), etc. so that I can create my OWN menu and still continue losing the weight.

I never really took it into consideration that I had been on JC for so long, that I took for granted how wonderful the perfectly-portioned plans had become. Now that I’m making my own portions, I have a feeling I’m not eating the right amounts of this healthy food (even though it appears right to me). I’m not afraid to ask for help when it comes to this. I’m humble enough to admit that I need guidance when it comes to the weight thing. It is helpful that I’m a hypnotist and have controlled the way I eat and exercise for over a year, however now that my eating lifestyle has dramatically changed (literally, overnight) I can use all the assistance I can get to push me back on track.

Holidays
Slave maurice is coming to stay with me from Dec. 21st until Jan. 3rd. We’ll be spending Christmas and New Years holidays together, which will be nice. We’ll take a road trip to Times Square in NYC to watch the ball go down for New Years Eve. We’ll probably get a hotel and stay overnight and then drive back home. If any of you will be in NYC for New Years Eve/New Years Day, perhaps we can hook up or hang out and party or something. I watched the ball go down January 1998 which was the year I graduated high school as a senior. This year, 2008 is my ten year class reunion, so this is a very special time for me to revisit Times Square and watch the ball go down as I make my personal goals for the NEXT ten years. This is a very sentimental date for me (new years eve) and I can remember where I was *every year* for New Years. This year, I have to head back to NYC.

A potential live-in male slave (for now, I’ll refer to him simply as “slave” since I haven’t decided to accept him into my household yet. When or if I do, I’ll name him appropriately), may come to visit me sometime in December as well. So it looks like I may have two male slaves overlapping near the same time, which suits me just fine. The more slaves to worship me, the merrier. This slave has started a journal, which he really didn’t want to do, but I commanded him to so I could see how obedient he could be. The first few days, I was lenient and considered it a request. But Dec. 5th was when I made daily journal-writing a command. For every day he misses (starting Dec. 5), he accumulates ten cane strikes. So far he’s earned 20 strokes of the cane. Either he will really enjoy a lot of pain or else he’s just being disrespectful. You tell me. His journal is here: . Keep an eye out, will ya?

Niteflirt
I’m confused. I could be wrong, but I assume the MORE customers who vouch for a flirt’s work, the more new clients she’ll reel in to her. That being said, I spontaneously decided to read other flirts’ feedback on Niteflirt only to discover that some of them pride themselves on just having one or two “main customers” who write all their feedback. I’m confused how that could be a good thing for anyone. Wouldn’t it be MORE profitable to have hundreds or thousands of devotees or worshippers than just one or two? I’m so grateful that thousands of little fish have vouched for me, instead of depending on one or two whales. I really, truly am honored. Thank you all for your support and for your honest feedback about my work. In the past, I had one very loyal client who would generously write tons of feedback for me every week after our calls (as a sign of devotion), but it hurt my sales because he wrote so much feedback that other clients felt non-existent. It became obvious to other clients that I had a “favorite” and even worse, new clients had no credible way to vouch for me other than by hearing 70 versions of ONE PERSON’S opinion. Eventually, I politely asked him to stop leaving me feedback (even though he spent thousands of dollars a week on me) and my profits began to improve. If I’m doing this all wrong and need to bribe people to “pad” my feedback by hypnotizing them, by all means - tell me! Is it better to have one person really really LOVE a person and they talk about them all the time — or is it better to have a thousand people who claim to LOVE a person and they talk about them sometimes? I suppose both can be good in different situations.

Politics
If you don’t want to hear my opinion on politics, skip this part.

I’m torn between two candidates. I won’t say which ones, cause the point is irrelevant. The problem is I want to know which of the two candidates sees animal cruelty as a serious problem. I’ve found many references to human rights, but very little in relation to animal rights. There is little to no information on these candidates regarding this, which bothers me. It seems that the topic of animal rights is never even on the agenda of topics to speak about. That sucks, considering the Dept. of Agriculture oversees a food industry that profits billions of dollars a year. Hell yeah we should be talking about it. I hate that candidates have completely ignored this topic within their debates. It upsets me and I don’t like to be upset. How can people in leadership positions not care about the hardcore killing and torture of animals in OUR OWN COUNTRY?

We always hear about the horrible treatment of people and animals in China (don’t get me started), but we have yet to fix our own problems here. We claim to be the land of opportunity and yet we are our own villains. China horribly tortures Falun Gong practitioners inside “six ten” offices by doing unspeakable torturous acts to them covered up by “unexplained disappearances”. Yet we do it ourselves: look at Guantanamo Bay and it’s disgusting human rights violations. We don’t call them prisoners. We call them detainees so we can get away with torturing them for years without a trial (even if just religious rights abuses and degradation).

We point fingers at China for mistreating their foxes because they skin the animals (alive!) and hang them upside down while bludgeoning them to death (Watch this sick video)… and practically EVERYTHING we have is imported from China, so we support their methods of torture every time we buy something from them. Here in America, the government supports the idea that foxes can be in tiny cages where they literally go insane turning them stir-crazy, are fed other foxes (cannablism), spend sometimes 5 weeks without water, and then we electrocute them up their anus (sometimes more than once) until they die. And this video is somehow MORE humane? And our government SUPPORTS THIS! *blink*

I’m sickened. Absolutely sickened by our country’s hypocrisy.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

P.S. Fifty Cent is my hero. He has a strip club and a Playboy-style pool grotto in his mansion. When I make that kind of money, my house will have them too. A strip club! At home! Not just a strip pole, but a WHOLE CLUB! Imagine this: You wake up, eat breakfast, and think to yourself, “I’m bored. Hmm do I want to watch tv? No I think I’ll go in the strip club room and see all my groupies who are here almost every night.” Oh yeah… that’s the life.

Miscellaneous stuff

Published on December 4, 2007 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Where do I start?

Food Update
Ok so some people have been asking me how my first week went with my new vegan lifestyle and it actually caught me by surprise cause I didn’t expect people to really care. I mean, in the past, I would have kind of rolled my eyes if someone told me they were going to start eating only vegan food. It has now been 7 complete days since I gave up dairy and meat products. Ironically, I *gained* 6.5 pounds in the first 3 days (I can only guess that my body was in shock as it got rid of bad toxins) and my fat percentage went up by two percent. Since then, I’ve managed to drop 1-2 pounds, but in essence - so far… this new vegan way of eating has contributed to an unexpected weight gain. Not cool. I still haven’t told my personal consultant at Jenny Craig about my new lifestyle, which I should cause she’s left a million messages on my machine asking where I am and if I am ok. I suppose it’s time I talk to the folks at JC and see if they can help me transition and still maintain a diet WHILE going completely vegan. I am not giving up. I’m doing this for a serious cause and it means a great deal to me to maintain this. And I’ve spent, now, over $700 (in just a freaking week) on healthy food, condiments, snacks, drinks, etc. mostly cause I had no idea what I would like, so I bought a little of everything.

As far as the food itself, I’ve developed a taste for tofu (who knew?) and enjoy many meatless products, (still eating fruits and veggies, that part hasn’t changed), and dairy-less cheese. At first the fake cheese was really gross and I practically spit it out, but then I found another brand and it is sooo yummy. Sometimes it’s all about the brand. Soy milk has become my best friend (I like the original) and original rice milk is also very good. Soy Dream brand ice cream is fucking delicious. And vegan cookies, brownies, etc. Wow! Now I just have to learn how to turn it into a diet instead of just scarfing my face with food and stop telling myself that just cause it’s healthy doesn’t mean it’s fat-free. Apparently, I’m not eating in moderation (hell, it’s so good I just want to eat all day) so I have to cut back or at least alter a few things on my daily menu. The folks at JC can surely help with that. That’s what I pay them for.

So there’s only one mistake I made and it was last night. I bought a pack of veggies for steaming (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots) and it was one of those steamable microwavable things in the bag and I assumed they were just vegetables but there was a little butter in it and I didn’t realize it until after I ate it. And I had been reading ingredients SO CAREFULLY up until then. So I messed up a little by having the butter mixed in the bag. Next time I won’t get that and will steam regular vegetables without a bag and add my own dairyless margarine. I bought my first steamer and have yet to use it.

Lost in a Jigsaw
At Barnes n Noble (don’t tell my dad cause he works at Borders and he’ll freak if he knew I bought a product from his rival bookstore), I bought a jigsaw puzzle that is this cool maze. It won Puzzle of the Year last year and truly is challenging. All the pieces are shaped the same way, so they all fit each other. And the puzzle itself IS a maze and you can’t actually put the pieces together unless you know what direction you need to move. And although it comes with a photo of the maze, it’s still closed and intact. I’m the kind of person that won’t open the photo key unless I absolutely *have* to and I figure that since I’ve come this far, I may as well leave the photo key closed. Haven’t peaked at it once. It’s actually way more fun to do knowing I’m doing it without a photo or knowing how it’s supposed to come together.

Here is a photo of the unfinished puzzle:

Friendly kitty
John Holmes the Porn Cat loves me a little bit too much. He leaves his love marks all over my arms and hands. I clipped his nails shorter, but they still draw blood when he gets happy. I love how feisty he gets.

Here is a photo of his friendliness:

Thanks for the crystal lamp
I love the salt crystal lamp that Floralessence bought me. He also bought me another gift, which I love - and this lamp lights up the room so peacefully. One thing I love about Floralessence is that every Sunday, he gives me his weekly tithe, like people do at church. He’s been doing it every week for months and months and months and months. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s given over a thousand dollars in tithes and offerings. I truly am a blessed Goddess. Thank you for your kindness
Here is a photo of me with the lamp:

Love
Isabella
xxooxox

Christmas lights

Published on November 28, 2007 in Journal posts. 5 Comments

First of all I want to thank everyone who commented in my previous entry, I haven’t responded to anyone but it means a lot that you all were so encouraging and offered such wonderful advice. I truly appreciate it.

I successfully completed was my first day of eating vegan food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks! I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. I even ate a slice of vegan chocolate cake and a yummy brownie with ice cream. I had no idea that stuff like that could be made without milk and sugar. How cool! And so delicious! And I’ve never been a big fan of soy, but for some reason - everything soy I ate today was scrumptious. It was like I *wanted* to like it, so I did. I even ate my first tofu sandwich. Now keep in mind - I’m the same girl who spit tofu out of my mouth a year ago because I mistook it for styrofoam. Wow was I wrong. That shit is good. Anyway I did have an interesting craving for milk when I ate the brownie (gotta have milk when eating cookies or brownies), however, I downed a glass of soy milk and it filled the craving nicely. I wasn’t sure what soy milk to buy, so I bought 5 types: plain, vanilla, chocolate, egg nog, and unsweetened. So far I like the plain, chocolate, and egg nog. I haven’t tried the others yet.

I must admit, I spent far more on this food than any food in the past. My grocery bill ended up running over $500. But then again, I bought even things like vegan condiments and stuff cause I completely threw out everything else. And the stuff I *haven’t* thrown out yet are in bags for Jenny to get when she comes over. I’m also trying to lower my sugar intake (and that includes aspartame, high-fructose syrup, and a ton of others) so my body can get rid of all the bad toxins and stuff.

The energy I felt today was out of this world. Seriously. I wanted to get up and move! The last week or so, I’ve been kind of lethargic and haven’t worked out or anything (which is highly unlike me) but today was insane! I just HAD to exercise. So instead of working out in the gym, I did unplanned activity by hanging up christmas lights all over the house. I even hung up a beautiful wreath with lights on the front door and put about a dozen lit candy canes along the edge of the sidewalk. I still have many more things to put outside, like snowflake lights, and I still have yet to line the staircase with white lights. But I’ll do that later. Here are some photos so you can see how it turned out.

Can you see John Holmes the Porn Cat camouflaged in two of the photos? (Hint: He’s actually in the same spot in two photos)

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

Winter pics and veg lifestyle

Published on November 26, 2007 in Journal posts. 12 Comments

Today at Barnes n Noble, I decided to browse the bestseller section. I grabbed a book called “Skinny Bitch” because I liked the title. It’s a book about getting healthy and is very “tough love” and says stuff like, “You’ll never be a skinny bitch if you eat like a fat ass. Get off your lard ass and exercise or you’ll stay fat forever.” Stuff like that. *blink*

Halfway through the book, it started mentioning vegetarianism and how healthy it is for you and I was like, yeah yeah. So what. But then it started talking about the cruelty done to animals and got so specific that I lost my lunch and puked in the bookstore bathroom. If I am what I eat, I don’t want to be a “dead, rotting corpse” which essentially, is what meat is. I bought the book and five minutes later I was at a health food store stocking up on vegan food. My whole refrigerator is vegan right now and I’ve tossed out everything I own in my whole house that isn’t healthy.

Starting tomorrow morning, I am going to give up all dairy and meat (of all animals). Ironically, I had cheese, tuna, lobster, and egg nog today - so I’ll start tomorrow. I hope I can give it up cold turkey (pardon the pun) but even a gradual shift to get off of it will be good too. I’ve never been a vegetarian or a vegan and this is very new to me, but I’ve just been exposed to the “real world” of slaughterhouses and there is no way in the world I can continue to support that. I mean, I’ve known what happens to chickens (and it’s horrible) but I still continued to eat them because I figured, hey - I’m on the top of the food chain, who cares? But after seeing (and reading) what happens with chickens, turkeys, cows, pigs, etc… it truly makes me sick to my stomach. And all that stuff I was putting into my body is so harmful (and fattening) that I don’t see how it benefits people. Sure, meat tastes good. But some alternative meat stuff tastes good too. I don’t see why I couldn’t try out the veg lifestyle and see how my body handles it.

I feel guilty knowing all the leather products I’ve purchased - mostly for bondage. I’m tempted to throw away all my expensive leather purses (or at least give them away). But is it wrong of me to want to keep my leather BDSM stuff? I mean, I know there are non-leather alternatives, but they don’t have the “sting” or the bite when hitting people. Perhaps I’ll just stick with what I have and stop buying more products with that. Leather corsets? Fuck I’ll miss them. But at least I can wear latex or vinyl instead. I don’t know if this will be a permanent decision or not, but the way I’m feeling right now, I’m pretty adamant about it.

I suppose this may sound like a pretty dramatic lifestyle change, and truth be told, I’ve often rolled my eyes at other people who stopped eating meat cause I thought they were pussies or tree-huggers. But I swear, after reading and watching some of the stuff I’ve seen, I feel the only way to stop animal cruelty is if I stop buying the products. We all know that money controls the industry. And for each person that goes veg, that saves the lives of 90 animals a year. 90! Sheesh. Count me in. I look at my kitty cat, John Holmes, and when I think of the possibility that people will sit on his body for the hell of it just to watch it’s intestines pop out of his anus - it disgusts me. And yet, workers do that to turkeys all the time. The stuff I read, really, truly, made me lose my lunch. I even watched it happen on video (at goveg.com) and… wow. I am speechless.

The only thing that concerns me is that for over a year, I’ve been on the Jenny Craig diet. I really want to maintain the diet I am on because it is *working* for me. The next time I go in, I’ll see if they have any vegetarian or vegan alternatives. I really really hope they have something I can work with or else I may have no choice but to get off of it. For someone like me who has lost a dramatic amount of weight eating Jenny Craig products, that’s a pretty big statement. If I do stop the program, I hope they’ll help me maintain a healthy diet after leaving.

Special thanks to Mistress Lycia for buying me this shirt for my birthday!

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

P.S. Later this week, I’m going to go to my first AA meeting. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic, but I do have a problem when it comes to social drinking. I rarely drink, but when I do, it gets way out of hand.

Fuck new years resolutions. I’m starting my resolutions early.